August 8,2018
Congratulations,
You turned 97. One year closer to heaven, we've come to celebrate, it's one year less we have to wait to confiscate-ahem, *receive* all the wealth that you'll leave.
As we grieve at your grave, we will speak of how to saved,
On that day that looms, be assured we'll carve on your tomb,
In loving money-I mean, 'memory,' of you... and all the cash you've accrued.
So thanks, although irrelevant,
Thanks for your inheritance.
Sincerely,
Your relatives.