I didn't even know where I was when I woke up. It was morning. I could tell that much, and I felt as though I were dead. Or at least, I was supposed to be.
I opened my eyes, being promptly forced to close them again due to the sun being at just the wrong angle, rising in the east, to go right into my eyes. I was leaned against a rock, not in a particularly comfortable position, but one that apparently been convenient enough to fall asleep in. I couldn't even remember falling asleep. I just remember last night, and, Oh.
I pushed the thought out of my mind, not daring to remember what I had done, trying my damndest to push it out, but I was hearing it, seeing it, smelling it, tasting it, feeling it all over again. The screams, the fire, the smoke, the cinders, the flames leaving my hand. It was all still there, refusing to leave, and eyes closed, I could see it all the better.
I pushed myself off against the rock that had been my alleged sleeping spot for the night before, sliding down it, and promptly rolling over onto my stomach, facing the ground in a manner that I could open my eyes without fear of the sun, but I opened them to realize the world had gone dark.
I pushed myself off the ground, rising too quickly, head spinning, placing a hand on the rock to support myself to see the world was gray, sky enveloped by one large singular gray cloud save an opening that had paved the way for the sun to resurrect me back into the real world, for better or worse.
I felt horrible, disgusting, sick, dying. My armor was hardly even on me. My entire tunic, leggings, and smallclothes beneath my armor were drenched top to bottom in sweat, sticking to my body no matter how hard I tried to yank them free between the gaps of my armor to catch the breeze, but there was none such to catch. The Earth was still as though time around me had ceased to move.
My armor felt as though it barely fit on my body. The chest piece felt as though it were barely attached to me, sliding off towards my stomach prompting my having to heave it up each and every time, tightening it however I could through the clamps situated immediately above my shoulders. I was able to tighten the right and when I turned to tighten the left, I discovered the source of the problem, being that the left clamp was missing entirely. Shit. In addition to that, my leg plates were sliding off as well as my right armpiece. I had no time to worry about that. I was still in the middle of a warzone. I stood up, now free to raise my hand from my earthly support, standing on my own two legs. My eyes still stung, the blot of the sun still branded into my vision, preventing my searching of the sea of death around me, constantly shrouded a good quarter of my vision.
I looked behind me. The wall, unfortunately, still stood there. It hadn't fallen overnight. What did I expect?
I knew more than anything I had to discover where I was. I could tell it was the inner wall at the very least judging by its small height in comparison to the outer wall. So I hadn't abandoned the city in its entirety last night. Good. I still had work to do.
I looked back towards the direction of the sunrise, it no longer molesting my view with its concealment behind the sea of clouds, but that didn't stop its trying, beams of light highlighting the edges of the formation, drawing a silver line of sorts, a funny irony in comparison to the shit I was feeling right now. There remained no room for silver lines in my immediate present now.
There was nothing to see towards the east. Just hills. Same hills as last night? Maybe.
I turned back east. Looking north and south. Yes. Same hills.
A black funnel of smoke rose from the ground not far away. From where, I sadly knew.
It was a short walk to the scene of my genocide. The fires had finally stopped burning, no doubt doused by the night's rainfall, the evidence of being the muddy terrain and the clouds overhead that promised a second dousing. That thought no longer brought me dread. In the past, a promise of a storm would've had such an accomplishment, but not anymore. The more rain, the more fires getting put out. How could that be bad?
The town was a scorched ruin, wooden structures but ashes, stone buildings collapsed, bones lining the street.
We never did find their bodies. Their heads were all we could find, and none of us had been keen on the idea of returning them to their families. So while the others burned the remains, I didn't partake. I let the experience invigorate me, anger me. The town was already afire, but at that time, I was intent on letting none escape. I went into their houses, searching for anyone left, and- NO! Don't think about it. It's over. It happened.
I shook my head, turning away from what had used to be Stone's Edge, and turned towards the hills, towards the camp. Maybe they were still there. I had to link back up with another unit. It'd be the surest way of making it back to the Dragon's Camp.
Maybe I should have just left. Put it all behind me. But, after all of this, I had done too much. I had sacrificed too much to just leave it behind. I was going to tear down this city. And if Iroh was preparing for another attack. I would be there, but no more would I let anything like that of last night happen again. Not if I could help it.
For 10 minutes, I went through the hills, searching for any sign of friendlies. There was no scout atop the hill where I had spotted Squad Iron Fire from. And when I scaled that hill, I came to realize it wasn't merely the lookout that was abandoned. The entire camp was empty.
As I went through the camp, it became increasingly obvious what remained and what didn't. The tents remained, the watchtowers as well. The fire had died, but the ashes remained hot. It wasn't doused. It had gone out on its own.
The contents of the camp though, were entirely gone. Now weapons, armor, valuables of any sort remained. All taken. Looters. But where were Zihe, Dazni, anyone for that matter. There were no bodies. None I could see at least. The tents were empty, the contents of all looted. Completely empty. Even the mounts were gone. Damn. It was going to be a long walk back to the Dragon's Host.
But that walk had to start sooner or later. So I started, stomach empty, parched, tired, sick, sweating from every pore in my body, eyes red, still hearing the damned screams like ghosts yelling at me from beyond the grave. Hell. Maybe they were ghosts. I'd spoken to them before. Back in Citadel.
I continued walking, not even paying attention to the world around me. As I walked, hours passed, the sun rose, and the antics of the night became visible around me. Burned out farmsteads, signs of small skirmishes: an earth kingdom tank here, a firebender's corpse there.
I continued walking, passing another small farmstead when I heard a noise behind it. Talking. Laughing. Earth Kingdom. Enemy. I just knew. I heard a whimpering as well, akin to that of a wounded animal.
I reached for my belt, feeling nothing. I had lost my sword. Damn it. I still had two hands. Good enough.
I turned the corner, and in place of a dying animal surrounded by Earth Kingdom soldiers, there lied a half-naked woman in torn rags for clothes surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers. One of whom was practically on top of her, breeches lowered.
The hell? I walked forwards and two of the nearest Fire Nation soldier became instantly alerted, raising their weapons towards me.
I instinctively raised my hands parallel to my head. I wasn't trying to antagonize anyone, but what the hell were they doing.
"Sir!" The nearest one to me called. "Soldier."
"Ours or theirs?" called a man from behind.
I heard an additional whine from the wounded animal that was no wounded animal but a young girl and a man a recognized all too well, with his scarred face walked past the two, pushing them aside, and smiling probably the most terrifying smile I'd ever seen when he saw me.
"Well holy shit, Luke. You're alive. Looking like shit, but hey, alive!"
"You weren't at your camp." For some reason, that was the only thing that came to mind. Of course they weren't. They were regrouping with Iroh. Like me.
"Yeah. Sorry we didn't leave you anything behind. You hungry? There's some food in the house."
I looked towards the house. It wasn't aflame, but it had been looted. I could tell that much. I looked behind Zihe, past the woman who was now being restrained by the two soldiers who had encountered me, towards a group of corpses in the distance, one far smaller than the others, a child. I felt my stomach drop.
"Whose house is this?" Thought I already knew the answer.
"Does it matter? They were hiding people who ran from Stone's Edge. For shame, Luke. I thought you get them all."
I looked back towards the woman now. One soldier was holding her to the ground while the other stood behind, lower armor lowered, undoing his breeches.
I looked back to Zihe, afraid to look. "What are you doing to her?"
Zihe looked around as though he had no idea what I was talking about, scoffed and smiled when he saw what I meant, turned back to face me, and said, "Oh. That. Good news is what that is. We found the people who ran from Stone's Edge. They struggled so we killed them. The husband put up a fight, so he died. Dumb idiot. We gave him a chance to leave with his kid, and his wife after we were done with her, but… tsk tsk tsk, he fought. And died. Wife there put up a fight until stupid Zeeji killed the kid." He laughed. "He's crazy, that Zeeji. Anyway, she's not too broken in. You want a shot at her? You're old enough."
I looked beyond him again. She was being pounded into the ground, the soldier behind her not letting up. There was only one thing to say. "Just let her go."
Zihe had also been watching the rape. I could tell, because he hadn't even understood what I said. He just turned back to me, smiling, asking, "What was that, Luke?"
"I said let her go." Louder this time.
And his smile was gone, which somehow, was all the scarier in that instance.
"Fuck you talking about?"
"She didn't do anything to Danev or Lu Ten or the others. She's not responsible for them."
"We will let her go. After we're done here. Is that a problem?"
"She doesn't deserve this!"
And now the two soldiers raping the young woman were facing me, the raper still going about his business. "Fuck's he saying, Zihe?!"
"He's saying we should stop."
"Oh is that right?"
Zihe turned back to me now, angry. "She does deserve this. She's no different from the ones at Stone's Edge."
"They didn't deserve it either! It wasn't them who killed them. It was the Earth Kingdom."
"Oh really? Didn't stop you last night."
"I know. I-"
He was walking towards me now, forcing me to start taking steps back.
"I saw how you went into their houses. You found the one's still partially standing looking for survivors, and oh man, you found 'em. Some you burned in the homes. Some you dragged out to burn them on the streets. What? Are you whimpering right now? You're a killer, Luke. A murderer. These rats don't deserve life. They only deserve death. So tell me again, Luke. Is there something you have to say?"
More men were coming out of the house now, armed, dangerous men, alerted and rendered curious by the commotion outside. 5 in total. I clenched my hand when I saw the woman, helpless on the ground, tears flowing out of her eyes, as she took glances at the corpses of her family. And when she looked at me, I saw recognition. She remembered me from the day her husband aimed a crossbow at Boss's head, and I stood ready to burn their family to the ground. And they pledged to help us. And they were killed by those they pledged to help.
No. Not those they pledged to help. These, whoever the hell they were, they weren't soldiers. Soldiers didn't kill the innocent. And I remembered last night again. I was no soldier either. Not anymore. There was nothing I could do.
"No." I said, still eyeing Zihe, fists clenched, ready to strike back if he made the first move. "Nothing at all."
But he didn't make the first move. He remembered what had happened last time. "Then get the fuck out of here."
And I left. I walked as far as I could, ignoring her screams, her pleads for them to stop. Finally, the screams stopped. I couldn't tell if it was because I was far enough away, if they had stopped, or she just didn't have it in her to scream anymore.
All the same. I walked away, not daring to turn around and find out.