Luke

The camp was being picked dry. No. No no no. It couldn't be.

Everybody was running one place or another, most east. Wrong direction, damnit. I wanted to yell at them to turn around. To call them cowards, traitors, but all words caught in my throat.

Those not running I tried to talk to, but none would listen. Many were shell-shocked, still hearing the artillery echoes off their trenches from the defense I had only hear rumors of. More were just ignoring me.

I finally managed to catch one, a soldier from the armored by the look of his emblem. "What's happening?" I managed to ask when he finally stopped to talk to me, despite how short the conversation would prove to be.

"We're moving."

"Moving where?"

"Away from here." And he ran off, putting his helmet back on as he ran to catch up to others. His squad. Where were the tanks? Where was half the camp? Had so many really died? What the hell was going on.

I had no idea where I was walking. Towards the grounds that had previously situated the armored camp, I supposed. As I walked, I saw tents getting torn down. Watchtowers put to the torch. No. No. This couldn't be happening.

It was evening. I had been walking all day. To come back to this?!

I finally reached the armored camp. Or rather, the remains of the armored camp. It had been hit the hardest. I could see the remains of the battle. The trenches were collapsed. The tanks destroyed and half buried, nearly all of them with a few half-living landships still remaining. Soldiers were picking at remains like vultures at a lion's hour-old victim.

The camps were either collapsed, burnt shells, or already packed. There was nothing usable left. I don't even remember which tent I looked for first. Was it Iron Fire? Was it Squad 17? Hell. Squad 5? I scoffed at the thought. Gan and Gi Gu. It felt like decades ago. It may as well have been. Two old friends. Lost to time, buried underneath it, and kilotons of rubble as well now that I mentioned it. I wondered if those tanks had already been recovered. And if so, who had recovered them? Our guys? Their? Scavies? Who knew?

As for the tanks here though. The worms had them. There would be no further use for them from us. They were gone. And whichever poor bastards were stuck inside when they went under.

There was no point staying here any longer. I turned around too leave. To go, well, somewhere other than here. Where? I couldn't say. Maybe to find another unit. I had no intention of speaking to Iroh right now. I doubted whatever I had to say would be appropriate all things considered. I couldn't go to Boss since the coward was leaving. But as I looked around, it got me wondering who wasn't leaving. All things considered, I wouldn't be surprised if such a number was lower than that of their counterparts.

I continued walking all the same. Small numbers were still numbered. Judging by the corpses I saw on the way here, the Earth Kingdom was down a few thousand men, but then again. So were we. Whatever. Small numbers are still numbers.

First things first. I needed a new sword. A new suit of armor would be nice, but I didn't have time for commodities. There was a war to end outside. So I ignored my sweat stained rags of clothes, my unfitting armor, my loose helmet, my falling belt, ragged socks, all of it. There were no swords to be found around the camp. All already picked by war opportunists. Sure, Fire Nation steel would sell nicely in the markets. An Earth Kingdom market especially. Traitors. I pushed away the thought. "Fuck it." I said to myself. "Who needs a sword anyway? I didn't need them before."

I pushed myself off the ground of the armory tent where I had just been browsing to bump my back into the chest of a soldier even smaller than me who nearly fell backwards. When I turned around, he was just a kid, struggling to stand, panting for air.

"What do you want?" I asked.

And between breaths, he managed to say, "General Iroh. He said. He said he's looking for you."

General Iroh? Me? "What does he want me for?"

"I don't know. Just that. He wants to see you."

Shit. I disobeyed orders. What I did last night. He knew.

"Oh. Okay. Thank you."

"Yeah. No problem. Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"Were you there?"

My fists clenched. How many knew?

"At the battle yesterday afternoon. The attack."

My fists unclenched. "Yeah. I was."

"What happened."

There was nothing more to say in the instance. Poor kid already should have known. "We lost, kid."

I passed by him without another word. There was nothing more to say.

The camp felt even more empty when I left the armory tent, as though a plague were making its way through, ridding the camp of life wherever it went. It wasn't hard to find the General's tent. It was where it had been for the last few weeks, but now it stood alone, a single red pavilion amongst a sea of brown ground where grass had ceased to grow beneath the cover of our camp. A sad sight if anything.

There were no royal guards at the tent now. Had they left too? Was there nobody left I could trust?

I shook my head, throwing away the idea of it as I made my way through the tent openings. And the sight that awaited me was as I should have expected but didn't all the same for fear of what it would mean.

I didn't stand in front of General Iroh, the Dragon of the West in that moment. Man who broke through the walls of Ba Sing Se. I stood in front of a father who had just lost his only child and all he held dear in the world. And I broke my salute when I realized he wasn't even facing me, but facing the rear of the tent, holding a parchment in his hand which became clearer as a portrait as I approached the desk.

It was such a portrait. One of his son. And I was at a loss for words. I had no idea what in Raava's name to say. I was totally and utterly lost, for what now felt like the millionth time.

"General Iroh?" I asked, hoping to spur him, wondering if he was even awake. I saw his head move, not in acknowledgement, but as though he were shaking. "I. I am so sorry. About your son. About the battle. About everything."

He was silent. Dead in every way save a heartbeat.

"I swear to you, General. This isn't over. I will not leave until Ba Sing Se has fallen. I swear on everyone I know who's died here. On everyone who's died to bring us this far. For your son, for my closest friend, for everyone."

And he spoke. The one word I hadn't expected. "Why?"

"General?"

"So more can die? So you can have more names to swear on? Why?

"I. I don't understand."

"I know you don't." He began to turn, and I could see the tears still rolling down his face, landing on the parchment held beneath him. "You don't understand. I do not blame you. You're still young. Naïve in your own way despite that you've already seen things nobody my age should deserve to see in a lifetime."

"I'm fine."

"No. You're not. None of us are."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you every wonder why we're here? Tell me, Luke. Do you know why we're here?"

Was this a test? A trick? A test of loyalty. Because I knew the answer. And I would stand by that answer. "Because this war is almost over. Because we can end it and win it here and stop the suffering that's been going around the world for almost a hundred years."

"See? You are naïve. We're here because my grandfather started this war. We're here because when I heard of the impenetrable city of Ba Sing Se, I resolved to tear it down. It became my life goal to prove everybody wrong. To enter this city and win this war for my nation. I allowed thousands of men to go with me because they respected me. Because they believed me to be able to do as I claimed. I allowed my son, my own blood to come along because he begged me for the chance to prove himself. Now. He, and thousands of men more are dead. Because I wanted to prove myself."

"You can't blame yourself. We Knew what we were getting into. We knew what lay ahead."

"Did you? Did you know that when hardly a year ago you were sitting comfortably in a Fire Nation classroom, learning of our 'great conquests'? No. You, a kid of twelve years, are here because we've become so desperate that we're sending children to die in our place."

"We all have our duty."

And I thoughts I could catch a glimpse of a small smile on his face. A sad smile.

"Duty." He echoed. "And who is your duty to?"

"To the Fire Nation, sir."

"And what of its ruler?"

"And him too."

"Last night, I received word of my son's death. This morning, a hawk from the Fire Nation tells me my father died in his sleep."

And it all made sense now. Of course he couldn't stay here. He was to become Fire Lord, but, without, no.

"So. So that makes you Fire Lord. Right?"

"No."

"No?"

"My father's dying wish was for my brother to be crowned in my place. Fire Lord Ozai."

"But. The title belongs to you. Aren't you going to fight for it?"

And that same answer. "No."

"Why?"

"Because I have no reason to be anymore. I was never made to leave the Fire Nation. I would have abdicated the title to my son within a year's time. And now, my son is dead. The last hope for me, and for the Fire Nation."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the hope for our nation died along with my son yesterday."

"But your brother-"

"Will destroy our country."

"Who. Who else knows?"

"Everyone."

"So the retreat, the desertions-"

"Are of those with enough sense to leave before it's too late. And you would be wise to leave as well."

And the last source of solace in this army abandoned me in the blink of an eye. "What?"

"Why did you join the Fire Nation, Luke?"

"I. Because I was brought out of the slums. Because I was dropped off into their schools."

"I heard of the school. You could have escaped at any moment. You could have left with your other friends from the street. Why didn't you?"

"The Fire Nation saved my life. They gave me a home. A purpose."

"They turned you into a soldier."

"I wasn't meant to be anything else."

"Why? What is it about being a soldier that speaks to you? What is a soldier to you? Who are you?! What are you?!"

He was yelling now. He was fully facing me, standing though I never noticed him leave his chair. He was leaning over his desk, staring me in the eyes when he asked that question. So I said the only definition of a soldier I still believed to be true. "Being a soldier is about defending those who are unable to defend themselves."

And his voice went soft again as he said, "Then you must leave. My father. He was not a good man. He waged the war harder than his father did. Killed more too. He attempted to wipe out the Southern Water Tribe. He brought misery to the lives of millions, but he wasn't his second son. He was a good man to those in his nation. He cared for those under him. He encouraged equality for all who pledged themselves to the Fire Nation, and he always believed that after the war, warfare would cease to exist. That the world would finally exist as one, at peace.

"My brother. He took the worst of his father and abandoned the good. He would burn the world to a crisp, his own people included if he could be king of the ashes. This is not somebody you desire to serve."

"Then I'll serve you. You can save your nation. The people love you. I know from the soldiers alone. You have their respect. Their loyalty."

"I no longer desire the power."

"But the people desire you. You can save them."

"I cannot save my people. No more than you can. You, however, have an opportunity I don't. You can leave. You can choose to make your own decisions. You can refuse to serve a mad ruler. I don't have this opportunity."

And my world was shattering all around me. I had walked into this tent, expecting to find one last tether to everything I held true in the world, but now even that was pushing me away. I was in shock. Everything around me was spinning in circles, laughing at me, calling me an idiot, calling me lost, alone. They were right. Everything around me was falling apart. The earth was breaking open, swallowing Iroh, the shelves, chairs, tables, maps, reports, tent, all of it except for me. And just like in Citadel, I was alone again. Everyone around me dead or gone, abandoning me. But I had been wrong before. Danev was still alive. Now though, everything truly was lost.

And I was on the verge of tears, standing there in front of him where he stood, his son painted on a sheet of power on the desk in front of him, a testament to a world lost to time, like everything else.

"Where will you go? What will you do?" I asked, restraining myself from crying, knowing I lacked any rain to shroud my pain.

"I may not be able to save my nation, but I can try to save my family. I have a niece and a nephew. I have been gone from them for too long and I fear what my brother is doing to them. I must try to help them. Help them both. I may not be able to change my brother, but I can change his children."

"And where will I go?"

"Your old squad, what's left of it, Iron Fire, they are on the outskirts of the camp, no more than a mile out. They're waiting for you."

"How do you know-"

"I told them to leave. My brother doesn't deserve good people like them under his thumb. They're better off without him. Many of my men are."

"But we'd be defectors. Traitors." We. How was I already using that word?

"No. You'll be given honorable discharges. It'll look suspicious, but so long as it doesn't taint their record of letting no defectors escape, the Fire Nation will accept it."

I stood there, speechless, a whole new road opening next to a road that was collapsing right in front of me, like the outer wall of Ba Sing Se, but when the wall had fell, it had spelled out hope and opportunity. Now. Now it was the end of a road. One I had no idea how to live without.

"Luke, you weren't made for the Fire Nation. There's more to yourself than you know. You're being given the opportunity many aren't. You still can hold the Fire Nation close to your heart, but the Fire Nation you know doesn't exist anymore. It may again someday, but for now, it's time to leave."

"But you're wrong. The things I've done. I've come too far to be anything else. The things I've done-"

"Are in the past. The past does not define who we are. Only you can do that. The future is always open to you. Never let anybody decide what your future is to be, for only you can make such a decision."

I breathed out, on the verge of tears, realizing in that moment there was no other choice. This was the way of things. This was the way my life was heading. I had to give it up. Surrender it all. Everything I had ever held dear to me. "Which way is my squad?" My squad.

"To the northeast. They told me they'll leave by sunset. But before you leave, I have some last things for you."

He took out a number of items from his desk. So he knew this would happen all along. How long had he been waiting for me to come back?

And he took out a number of items. First, an official looking document already laden with signatures. "The papers for your discharge," he explained. "You will not be labeled an enemy of the state. This is your clean slate. Your life is yours for the choosing." I signed the papers, sliding them aside just as he took out a rank patch, one of a lieutenant. "The discharge isn't finalized until it's sent. I'd thus like to name you lieutenant of the Fire Nation. A good status to retire on.

"I. I don't deserve this."

"You deserve this more than anybody else I've made lieutenant in my career."

And he took out a sheathed knife. A knife I recognized. "Is that?" I began asking.

"You friend. He asked me to give this to you. He said you refused to take it when he left. He didn't know if he would ever come back, so he asked me to give it to you if anything happened to him." And I could see his tears again, the knowledge still fresh in his mind of his son's death.

I accepted the knife, unsheathing it, revealing the intricate patterns on the blade. A blade I'd already promised myself to hone every day until I died.

"You had a good friend." Iroh said.

"The best."

"I'm glad to know my son was in good company until the end."

"They went down with a fight," I said, sheathing the blade. "I know that much."

I saw nothing else waiting for me, my undeserved gifts having expired. I turned to leave the tent until he said, "One last thing."

I turned around, not sure what to expect, until I saw the Pai Sho tile held on his palm, extended towards me. A White Lotus?

I took it, not sure what else to do. "I don't play."

"You don't have to. You're going to be on your own now, Luke. It's time for you to discover who you are."

"What are you talking about? Why does everybody know more about me than I do?" I asked, my mind going back to everything Raava had told me the night of the winter solstice that was approaching once again as time went by.

"Because it's something only you can find out on your own. Something that nobody can tell you. Take this. There are those in this world who still believe it can be saved. People like them will help you. I believe you have already met one of them. Show them this tile, tell them I have sent you, and they will help you on your journey."

"I've already met one of them? Who?"

"I have told you everything I can for now. We will meet again, but now, you must go. I have a son to grieve and a battleground to retreat."

I turned to leave, opening the tent, letting the sun shine in when I heard Iroh say "Good luck to you, Luke. We will meet again."

I turned to face Iroh, still my commander until the document was sent back to the Fire Nation. I saluted him, standing at full attention, saying, "I hope so, General. It's been a pleasure to serve at your side."

And he saluted me back.

I turned, opening the tent flaps, letting the light in, blinded by it, as I left the tent for a path I had no knowledge of, abandoning everything I had every known. And once again, I was alone.