Yuuto’s journey through the game he loves, friends who support, opponents who challenge, and life that keeps on giving

To The Top - Sports and Life

Seems quite good. i actually like the novel, it has a certain charisma which keeps the reader fixated on it.
I literally love the plot, the characters and especially the scenario.

I know that it is too early to judge the story but it seems to me that the readers require a certain amount of Football or Soccer, which way you want to call it, before understanding the games. Though that is a given I suppose? 

Characters:

I know that your main characters are being focused on however, I would like to suggest giving the others a chance to introduce themselves. Especially his teammates and his coach. Will they stay longer with the team? If yes, then I suppose it is important for you to give us, the readers, the chance to picture who they are and develop well their characteristics. Also, what do the characters look like? 

Setting:

Please do define the field even for a bit. Was there a crowd watching them? Were there cheers and people reacting? Were there not a few fans? Where were they playing, in the fields? I can't picture it exactly nor can I assume as it may potentially disrupt the story.

Dialogues:

I was a bit confused with who was speaking. I also do not know how they spoke which leads me to assume.

During the first few chapters from 1 - 3, the characters were plain. It lacks the feel of being there. I can't feel the characters the way they should be. 

There are also a few grammar issues that can be fixed when read once or twice more. 

Despite it, a good read. I think when given a few more time to produce more chapters, the way the characters should develop will be found. I also hope that readers, like me, who don't know anything about soccer can share the same understanding with those who do.

Hey there!

Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact kenreview@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.


I can't say much about the development or character design since it's only been four chapters, but the attention to details is praiseworthy and so is the grammar. There are a few issues with punctuation which can be fixed if you go through the chapter one or two more times but overall it's a good start.

I've never read anything on competitive sports so I don't have anything to compare this to but I believe that people who like this genre would have an easy time reading this.

Goodluck with your writing... though I'd advice to work on your synopsis and updates...