Good Morning

Bzzt Bzzzt Bzzzzt

"Ugh"

Half awake, my limp hand just drops itself on the digital alarm clock. I turned on my sides and I draped the blanket over my head. I was "awake" now. I stared at the gray piece of cloth I that hung loosely on my head. It wasn't really a blanket. For sure it wasn't a comforter. It was just this thin loose piece of cloth that I use every time I sleep.

I pulled it away from me. I slumped to the corner of my bed and pulled of my shirt. I sat there for a while staring at my feet, then at my loose pajamas, then at my hands and my elbows that hung in the middle of my legs.

"What am I doing?"

I opened the bathroom door and flicked on the lights. I look horrible this morning. My matted brown hair just prickling on all directions, the bags underneath my eyes were getting a shade darker. A chuckle escaped from inside of me and a smile just can't help but pop up. I saw this cute guy yesterday …

"Argh!"

I shake my head and stare at myself in the mirror. I can't believe I'm doing this … I can't believe it's real. He's a professor for crying out loud. Well … he's a "substitute". It all seemed so long, like a distant dream.

Splash

Cold water ran through the length of my body. My messy hair was now flat, sticking on my head. So were my pajamas, drenched and clinging to whatever patch of skin they can find. I was still staring at the mirror and I soon noticed that my right hand had found a small pail full of cold water and drenched myself to put me out of my misery.

Ding!

A pair of toast popped out of the toaster. That and some beautifully fried eggs and some ham would be the perfect way to start my day. BUT it lacked a subtle touch. I reached up the higher shelves of the kitchen and grabbed my French press and some hazelnut coffee beans.

In the middle of grinding my coffee beans, I heard light footsteps on the stairs. I know who this would be. I turn around and my suspicions were affirmed.

"Mom."

"Oh hello there darling."

I arced an accusing eyebrow at her while I was still grinding my coffee beans.

"And since when were you living here?"

She looked around the dining table found exactly one plate of food and one much awaiting mug that needed to be filled with Hazelnut coffee as soon as possible.

"You didn't make me breakfast?"

"I didn't even know you were alive for the past 6 months."

"Oh come on. You're exaggerating."

"It's been six months mom. You didn't even leave a note. How did you even get in?"

"I have the spare key remember?"

I grabbed my French press and stuffed it with the ground coffee beans.

"… of course you had the spare key."

"Well … at least make me a cup of coffee."

Slowly her footsteps moved away from the kitchen and I heard the TV in the living room switch on. I shook my head and filled the French press with hot water from the steaming kettle I set on the stove a few minutes earlier.

I passed her sitting on the couch in the living room watching a morning news show when I handed her the cup of coffee. She looked at me and smiled.

"I'm sorry darling."

I can't help but shake my head and return the smile

"It's just … you always leave. You don't even tell me about it. You just … disappear."

"You know mummy has to work darling."

"Sure. 'Work'."

I slide the plate of toast, eggs, and bacon on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"What's this now?"

"I'm not hungry. I'll just have a cup of coffee before I go to the university to meet up with Professor Burmington."

"Still working on that paper your father kept rambling on aren't you?"

I gave her a wry smile.

"RAMBLED on mom. Before he died. It's for my dissertation anyway. It's not like I'm doing this for him."

Mom gave me a concerned look, which was surprisingly good despite the fact that she just leaves for months at a time. She reached out to hold my hand.

"Darling, I know you miss …"

"Stop."

I pulled my hand away from her grip.

"I know what you're going to say."

I tapped the corner of the white plate

"Eat up. I know you're hungry."

I drank my cup of coffee and should I say, it was wonderful. I went up to my room and changed into a pastel shirt and a pair of pants. With my papers and my laptop neatly tucked into my bag, I went on my way to the university.