Chapter 23 : I'm Sorry

In all the months of loving Rose, I only dreamt of hearing that one thing.

Part of me wanted to jump out with Joy, for my love, would win there. Everything that I had for her back then, would now have a purpose. I wanted to be so happy.

Yes, wanted.

Because reality hit me in the face, super hard.

I've never felt so uncomfortable before.

Everything was so suddenly silent and cold.

I realized I was gonna be a part of a huge sin. To be some kind of a wall in between two people.

I didn't want it to be this way, I really didn't.

I was scared now, what if Francis hates me?

Was this the way I payed him for his kindness towards me?

I mustered up courage to go speak to him.

I was so dead with guilt.

He didn't wanna talk at first.

But us being guys, he finally spoke and said

"Nah man I'm okay, everything's cool chill"

I burst into tears.

Because Francis didn't want me to feel the way I REALLY WAS.

This sucked so bad. I didn't know this would happen.

I felt pathetic about myself.

I've never seen him sad before. He kept saying everything was alright but I knew it wasn't.

I got angry. I went up to Rose.

"Why won't you just freaking spend time with him?"

She was confused.

I took her by the hand, and took her to where Francis was seated just a few meters away from us, facing the other side, talking to Vanessa.

"Please,.....just be with him....." I said still looking towards Francis, with her behind me, trying my level best not to break down.

But I couldn't hold it back anymore, as I let go of her hand,......she caught mine.

She caught mine so hard and said my name.

It's almost as if she didn't want me to go.

I didn't wanna look at her, I wanted to hide this WEAK self of mine.

I pulled back my hand really hard, and walked away, still tears running down my cheek.

While walking away, away from the both of them, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that,......

....not only had I lost the trust of my best friend, but also the one thing that kept me and Rose together, our friendship.

I didn't want to know the pain Francis must've felt, but I knew for sure that if I wanted him to be happy, I would have to go of everything between me, and Rose.

My mind flashed back during adoration to all the beautiful memories of me being there with her, all these previous chapters went gushing into my brain, and coming out through my eyes as tears.

This was it.

This was the end of everything between us.

If one day, you read this by any chance, Rose.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I really didn't want to let go that day. I wished I could have just stayed there by your side, holding your hand. Asking you to tell me everything that's on your mind. Just talk to me.

But I really had no other choice.

I hope you forgive me.

I'll miss you.