Chapter 25 : True Colors

Rose had to travel for Christmas to her hometown, hence she wouldn't be able to celebrate with us this year.

What difference would it make anyway. How could I possibly face her with everything that had happened?

While walking downstairs back home that same day, I remembered a time when Vanessa, Rose's best friend was once walking home with me.

She knew that I liked her.

But she didn't know what had exactly happened back then.

We spoke on that topic reacalling past days...

Ver : So did you really like her?

Me : Yeah...I did, but I don't think I do

anymore since she's someone else's.

*Pause*

Ver : Man you know, back then...

Me : Back then what?

Ver : I think she didn't like you because...

Me : Because?...

Ver : well you look completely different now, but back then you were....

And as she said that sentence, breathing was getting harder. I wasn't ready. I knew this was gonna hurt me bad.

I looked away from her to face the other side and tried hard not to sound like I was crying.

Me : "......ugly?".

Ver : Well yeah you know...you're very different now though.

I didn't want to believe what she said.

All this time, I thought Rose just wasn't ready at that time. That she was just too young.

But then it became all so clear now.

Ofcourse.

Ofcourse she judged me on the basis of my looks.

I couldn't breathe at all.

Back to reality.

I ask myself.

"What could possibly be the reason behind anyone not loving you?" I asked myself.

And there's something very important I learnt that day.

Nobody would ever want to look at how you were from the inside.

Nobody cared about that.

It's just the outward appearance that's given more importance.

Something I did with Rachel. It was my fault for not knowing her of what she truly was.

And finally, it was my fault, for not realizing... what Rose was back then.

2k17 had begun.

And so did a new chapter of my life.

The most shocking moment during this period was when I learnt that Rose broke up with Francis.

Francis was broken.

I couldn't understand what was happening.

I completely lost it when I learnt that Rose left Francis for some other guy.

I had no freaking clue what this was.

Francis was probably the best, and I mean the MOST DOWN TO EARTH PERSON, most understanding, and caring guys that I would have ever been blessed to meet up with.

He, didn't deserve any of this.

She dumped him.

And hey maybe that's her wish.

She can do whatever she wants.

That's okay.

But what's not okay, is that even after all this happened,

Not ONCE

Did Rose ever speak to me.

She could've told me, about her decision, I would've done something to get things right,

I would've help her, supported her.

She's Rose. I would've done anything to help my best friend.

She'd usually share everything with me over the phone calls we made,

She called me her best friend.

Was I ever anything to you though?

I'm so done.

Of legit, all her shit.

Back in 10th grade,

She played with me and made me feel like I'm nobody, the time when I believed to "love" her.

I was afraid.

That I'd lose her

And in order to not lose her,

I chose friendship.

Just so I could simply see her happy, all the time.

But even today,

She did the exact same thing.

Made me feel like I'm a nobody.

A call?

Text perhaps?

Talk to me.....

Please?

Anything??

No...Never.

I never mattered in her life.

I wasted my time.

A lot of it.

I tried really hard to be there for her,

When the truth was that she never really wanted to stay, not even as a friend.

Am I really that useless to you Rose?

It was from this moment on that I decided to completely cut off Rose from my life.

I'd had enough.