Pain and Fear

Though it seemed tangible, the darkness did nothing to cushion Katherine's fall. Her body bounced off the narrowing walls once, then twice, rendering her red and blue even before she hit the ground with a dull thud and lost consciousness.

The dark world was illuminated by a slight glow when an agonizing pain shook her awake again seconds later. She squirmed. While her whole body pulsed numbly and her head swam, her stomach seemed to burn with white-hot flames. A gasp escaped her throat. She tried to clutch her belly, only for more pain to shoot up her left arm. It was buried under her hip at a strange angle, vastly unresponsive but agonizingly present. Though the right arm moved naturally, the pain and helplessness brought tears to Katherine's eyes. "Not again, please not again..."

The darkness above her suddenly seemed to grow wolf maws, feral growls sounding over the tearing of flesh. The memories which she thought she'd locked away, resurfaced together with the pain. Her breath grew fast and strangled, sweat beads forming on her skin.

She'd sworn to never be torn apart again, to grow strong enough to defend herself. Yet now, or even standing at the cliff with her kidnappers, she was just as helpless as before, just as weak, just as flimsy. Like a speck of dust in the wind of fate. While her husband was a force to be reckoned with, she knew that she was just a normal nobody riding on his coattails. Would it not be matching for an insignificant girl like her to die just like that?

And then, when her pain and mental collapse were at their worst, she felt something wet tickle down her thigh. Even in a daze, she knew what that meant and the shock was deep enough to break through her delusions.

"No... no..." Barely conscious, she fought against the dizziness, attempting to dismiss the magic that healed and protected her. Her baby had a higher standing than even her own survival. Yet, for the first time in her life, Katherine's magic didn't follow her wishes. The glow around her weakened but persisted. And as for the pain in her stomach, nothing changed.

Now, the tears rolled down Katherine's cheeks, following her nose and dropping on the earthen ground she could see from the corner of her eyes.

"No," she whispered. Then stronger: "No! You don't take my baby! Stop hurting it! Stop rejecting it! You stupid power! Can't you do anything right? It's me, don't you get it?! It's my lovely little -"

Her voice cracked from the strain as more tears flooded her vision and she wept openly. There was nobody to see it anyway. Why shouldn't she cry? Her baby, her little light of hope, was dying. It was dying because of her. The thing that protected her from the darkness all around - and she somehow knew she would be devoured without it - was the same that killed her little angel. It killed it in the guise of healing. Her last hope that maybe her power would spare the child despite the pain it had caused before, was crushed.

While the wounds on her mangled body slowly closed, Katherine stubbornly tried to dismiss her power and just as slowly, rage bled into her anxiety and desperation. Why? Why would her control over her power slip right when she needed it the most? Often did she wish her power to be more dangerous, but she never meant dangerous for her child!

Clenching her right hand into the fabric of her shirt, Katherine tried to think. Most likely her power protected her instinctively, just like it did with Nathaniel's power before. Wasn't that the reason her husband let down her guard around her? Because his harmful magic would be stopped by hers even when Katherine didn't know it was there consciously? Was this darkness, Blacky how she called it, the same as Nathaniel's power? But her power only reacted in places it touched Nathaniel's! Why would it coat her entire body now?! Why must it flow through her insides?

It was at that moment that her tenacious optimism came back and reached a conclusion: maybe her magic was just overreacting. If it was instinctive like with Nathaniel's magic, it might resist being dismissed everywhere where the malicious darkness touched. But logically, it should not care so much about other places.

Pressing her eyes close, Katherine's pale face wore a deep frown, more and more sweat mixing in the remnants of tears. With all her heart, she hoped, begged, that it would work out. This time, she didn't try to dismiss all of her power but concentrated on the burning hot pain in her abdomen. If she could just clear this area, maybe it was not too late.

She imagined it like ripping a hole in fabric, then widening it, fixing the edges in a round shape, like a non-magic globe emerging in her stomach. It took a bit of work, but soon the magic followed her will. As she expected, it was not as resistant if it didn't concern the black power. The downside, however... the pain did not stop.

It throbbed in her flesh, hardly growing weaker due to the halted assault. She could not help the tears of bitterness filling her eyes again. Gently touching her tummy, Katherine took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, dearest. Mommy is so sorry that she hurt you again, but please... please stay alive!"

Laying on her side almost unmoving, Katherine waited for the pain of her other wounds to reduce and vanish. Last was her left arm which she had to pull out from under her body with a scream of pain. Resting on her side again, she greedily sucked air into her lungs. Her stomach still throbbed and she did not dare to move more than necessary. Very carefully, she stroked her flat tummy, soothing herself as well as the unborn - if it was still there. She prayed to all the gods that it was still there, but feeling the blood still tickling down her thigh, her usual optimism did not work as well as before.

Quietly, she whispered to her little angel. "Please don't go. I promise Mommy will do her best to protect you from now on. Just please don't leave."

Now that she was less distracted, Katherine felt the drain on her magic. Surprisingly, it was stronger for fending off the darkness for a few seconds than healing her body. With dread, she realized that she wouldn't be able to stay here for long. But if she moved, her condition - her angel's condition - would probably worsen.

On the other hand, would it get better by staying still? It would take a wonder for anyone to find her here, especially someone who would reach out a helping hand.

Of course, there were those who knew, the targets of her hate waiting somewhere on the other side of the darkness, but they would do nothing to help. Or would they? If this strange experiment succeeded, maybe. Not Ve, but maybe Ethan, or one of the helpers. Yet, she could not count on that. After the shock and dizziness receded, Katherine realized that not only she but also her baby would probably die if her magic ran out and she was still in darkness. If it was not already dead.