When We First Met

I did few things in those years before I met you. My world was dark and bleak and there was little for me to do other than dream. But on that day, you appeared.

How someone entered this world of mine, how someone appeared before me I do not know. You are not the first and you will not be the last, but somehow you are special.

You were the only one. The only one who stayed. And so I have always wanted to ask you,

"Why did you stay with me?"

I had given you tens, no hundreds of chances to leave. You did not have to stay, but you did. What moved you to remain in such a dark and gloomy place? Was it out of pity? Was it compassion? Or was it something else?

Well, no matter the reason it will not change how I feel.

That day I met you, I only saved you because you reminded me... You reminded me of a time long ago.

Your hair was black and your skin pale, so very pale. I half thought you were dead, with your black tattered cloak and bloodstained clothes. You lay on the ground like a mutilated, bloody corpse yet your eyes were open. That was how I knew you were alive.

How could you have been dead when your eyes shone so strongly with the desire to live? Those scarlet eyes of yours narrowed ever so slightly as you glared at my approach. It was as if I was the one who had injured you so. Despite your dreadful condition, somehow you had yet to resign yourself to fate. It was as if you knew this would not be the end. Of course it wouldn't... not with you being who you are...

Those eyes of yours looked so much like his, did you know that? Oh, how could I allow you to die?

He can not die. I will never allow it.

I had never felt such a strong emotion in so, so many years. Memories of a time from long before almost resurfaced. It was dangerous for me to save you, that much I knew.

But I could not let you die.

I brought you back to my sanctuary. You, with your blood dripping onto my clothes, and I, with the first of many emotions stirring in my heart. You looked so much like him that I couldn't help but harbor thoughts that he came back for me.

I couldn't help but hope. Me, who had long ago given up, once more started to feel.

How laughable.

I brought you to my sanctuary, I treated your wounds and tended to your fever.

Why did I do that? I could have left you on that path. Someone would have saved you. Perhaps it would've been yourself.

You are strong, it would have been possible. But his scarlet eyes are forever engraved in my memory. I couldn't leave you.

How could I leave you there when those eyes were filled with resentment, hatred, anger, fear...

Even a little bit of hope?

He had never held such strong emotions in his eyes.

He had never shown such humane emotions to me.

How could I leave you when you looked so much like him. When you held the same features as him?

When your eyes that looked so much like his stared at my own...

I treated your wounds. I tended to your fever. I waited for you to wake.

What would your voice sound like? Would it sound like his?

What did his voice sound like?

He used to always tell me...

What did he tell me? Why can't I remember?

I was hopeful. Perhaps you would remind me. I couldn't help but hope a little.

If only we hadn't met... Then those memories of mine wouldn't have come to surface.

Oh, how evil I was. How evil.

How could something like me ever exist?

Someone like me...

We should have never met.

You looked so much like him. You reminded me of him so strongly. How I longed to see him once more.

Why did things have to end this way?

I am dangerous. Evil really.

And you...

When you woke up, you had stared at me, your eyes blank like his had been.

Your mouth opened and you asked me,

"Why did you save me?"

I wonder what I said. What did I do?

I can no longer remember.

Perhaps I smiled, perhaps I answered you, but it is more likely that I simply ignored your question.

I can barely remember anything more. All I can remember was that you looked like him. You had an uncanny resemblance to him that I couldn't ignore you.

There have been few people to come across me in this dark world of mine, but you...

I couldn't ignore you like I had the others.

You looked....

But what did you look like? I know that your hair is black, your skin is pale and your eyes scarlet, but what do you look like?

Why can't I remember it anymore? That appearance of yours?

You looked so much like him, but who is this him?

Why can't I remember?

When we first met...

When we met...

...Ah, that's right.

I had thought that he had died.

My dear, dear friend.

My companion, my partner. The one who had always been by my side.

What was his name?

Why can I not remember?

He died before my very eyes. I swore to protect him. How could I forget his name? How could I forget his face?

How could I let you die when you reminded me of him?

I thought he had died once more.

I couldn't let you die.

Ah, my head hurts. I shouldn't be doing this, forcibly making myself remember, but if I don't....

If I don't do this I'll forget you. I forgot about him. How can I also forget you?

I remember now. I know what I said when you asked me that question.

I saved you because,

"I can not lose you again."

You must have been so confused when I said that. We had never met before this so why would I say this?

What did you feel when we first met?

Were you disgusted? Did you resent me for saving you?

When we first met...

Why did you remind me of him?