The End

Your pov

"Help me." Jungkook repeated the plea, his voice barely more than a low, husky whisper. I was cradling him in my arms, our bodies still sprawled awkwardly on the cold floor. A wave of weakness crashed over me; I could feel the sting of my lower lip where it was still bleeding—an unwelcome reminder of the chaos that had unfolded.

"What happened? Why did you react that way?" I pressed urgently, desperation threading through my voice. "You have to explain it to me... I need to understand."

His response came laden with pain. "You would never understand me." His eyes shone with unshed tears, revealing a vulnerability that tore at my heart. "I can't control myself. My mind... it's playing tricks on me, and I lose control without even thinking. The pain I feel... it's too deep. It consumes me, little by little."

As I gazed at him, I noticed beads of sweat glistening on his forehead, a testament to the internal turmoil he was wrestling with. His breathing grew rapid, almost frantic, and I instinctively reached for my purse, which lay somewhere among the tangle of our discarded belongings on the floor. My fingers brushed against it, and I pulled out a syringe and needle, preparing the medication designed to help him through these dark moments. I felt his eyes fixated on me, and when I turned to look at him, my heart ached at the sight of his teary gaze locked on the injection in my hand.

"I... saw you with someone," he began hesitantly, his voice barely a whisper, as if the words themselves were heavy. His eyes dropped to his clasped hands resting in his lap, shame washing over his features. "He was holding your hand, and I... "

The realization hit me like a cold wave. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt my eyes widen in shock. All of this turmoil erupted because of that single moment? Why had I let it slip my mind? Why hadn't I been more aware? My heart raced as I grappled with the implications of his feeling—of being betrayed. I should have known that living with Dissociative Identity Disorder meant navigating trust issues that could spiral into anger and hostility at the slightest hint of perceived betrayal. It was a constant battle, one that I had unknowingly underestimated.

Damn it, I should be more careful. The weight of my oversight felt crushing. Why was it so hard to remember that he wasn't just like everyone else? Why did I keep forgetting that the shadows of his past lingered so closely, casting a pall over our every interaction? I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself in the midst of this emotional storm, desperate to find a path back to understanding and healing.

"Jinyoung is the one who asked me to help the elderly lady I visit," I finally explained, my voice shaking with regret and urgency. "He's her grandson. He was nice enough to drive me home afterward. If he held my hand, it was just his way of saying thank you. I don't feel for him the way I feel for you. You have no reason to be afraid. Can't you see how I truly feel? Dont you know my heart yet?" I desperately wanted to reassure him and close the gap between us, but I knew it would take more than just words; it would need time and patience.

As I knelt down, carefully placing the injection I had just prepared into my purse, I reached out and cupped his cheeks in my hands, squeezing gently yet firmly to draw his gaze toward mine. I needed him to see the emotion in my eyes. "Can't you comprehend the lengths I'm going to just to ensure your safety and to be by your side? Do you truly believe I would sacrifice everything—working tirelessly day and night—for just anyone? Why is it so hard for you to extend me your trust? What else can I do to prove that I'm here for you, wholeheartedly? Please, tell me what you need in order to believe in me again."

"I'm sorry," Jungkook murmured, his voice thick with feeling as he bit his lip nervously. He shut his eyes tightly as if to block everything out. "I just… lost myself back there. The thought of someone else being close to you, especially when I'm already this way, was just too much for me."

A mix of emotions washed over me. I worried about my own sanity, but his words sparked a flicker of happiness. He did care; he truly cared about me. It was becoming clearer than ever. Yet, as that joy rose within me, I wondered if it was enough to close the distance between us.

"What do you really feel for me, Jungkook?" I asked softly, still holding his face, anchoring him to me.

He kept his eyes shut for a moment but then slowly opened them. The intensity in his gaze sent my heart racing. Our faces were just inches apart, and I could feel warmth radiating between us. His breath was still quick, a sign of his inner struggles, but he reached up, gently placing his hand on my neck, pulling me closer.

As our eyes met, I felt a flutter in my chest; I was captivated by the depth of his gaze, which was filled with insecurity. It pained me to see him like this, battling his own fears. But I knew him well—the bad boy I had come to love. Out of a crowd of a thousand, I could recognize him instantly.

Then, he offered a little smirk, a glimpse of the playful side I adored, the boy I longed to connect with. Yes, this was the real Jungkook. In that moment, I realized that I loved every part of him, both his strengths and weaknesses. My love for him was unconditional and steady. I loved him, whether he was feeling grounded or lost in his thoughts. None of that mattered; all I cared about was him.

"I feel an overwhelming torrent of emotions surging within me. The weight of my feelings is so intense that no one could survive it—not even me."

As I watched him, my heart tightened when his tears began to cascade down his cheeks, each drop fueled by despair. I could almost hear the tremors of sorrow in his voice, like a fragile echo resonating in the heavy silence between us. His hand shook as it brushed against my skin, sending a jolt of anguish rippling through me. I instinctively knew, deep within my core, that the darkness enveloping him was more than mere shadows—it was a profound suffering, a deep-seated hurt, an all-consuming hate gnawing at his spirit.

My instincts urged me to reach for him, to wipe away the tears that stained his face, but he resisted my touch. Instead, he pulled me into his arms, an embrace that was both tight and soothing, as if he were desperate to hold onto something tangible amidst his pain. The warmth of his body pressed against mine felt like a sanctuary, but it didn't shield us from the reality we faced.

As my own tears streamed down my cheeks, I couldn't contain the flood of emotions that surged forth. His heartbeat thundered in my ears, harmonizing with my own racing pulse. I wanted to disentangle him from his never-ending abyss, to rescue him from its merciless grip. But as much as I tried, I realized I was simply not enough to save him. Regret washed over me, heavy and suffocating. Why hadn't I found him sooner? Why hadn't I been there to shield him from his torment? A wave of self-loathing crashed over me, making me feel like a pitiful creature, utterly useless.

"I tried," he whispered into my hair, his voice barely above a breath. "I tried so hard to keep everything bottled up... for you. I fought against my nightmares and the constant, gnawing helplessness. But I just can't hold on anymore. I've even hurt you in the process."

"I'm here," I replied, the conviction punctuating my voice. "We'll face this together. I am strong enough to stand beside you, you have to know that."

He pulled back slightly, his gaze anchoring on mine, but I looked away, overwhelmed by the tumult within my heart. "Look at me," he urged, gently tilting my chin until our eyes locked. His warm eyes radiated vulnerability and pain.

"I know how strong you are," he said softly, releasing a deep, shaky exhale. "You're incredible. You've always been that way... but I'm not strong like you."

I blinked back the tears threatening to spill, my throat tightening. "Please, don't say that," I pleaded, covering my face with trembling hands as silent sobs escaped me. "Whatever else you might want to say, just... don't. I can't bear to hear it."

With tenderness, he removed my hands from my face, cradling them gently in his own. He pressed his lips to my palms, maintaining his unwavering gaze on me.

"I can't be the one you deserve," he confessed, a hint of desperation tinging his words.

I shook my head vehemently, disavowing his assertion. "You are everything I will ever want."

"Stop making my heart race so much," he said, biting his lip as fresh tears pooled in his eyes. "It's terrifying." He traced slow circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, his expression tender yet tormented. "I'm... broken, a complete mess."

"I don't care," I insisted, my voice firm. "This broken version of you is who I fell in love with."

"God!" Jungkook exclaimed, biting his lip harder, tears glistening in his eyes once more. "Please, just look at me. I'm lost in this overwhelming haze. I can hardly think straight. The pain is suffocating me., Don't ask for more. I can't give you any more."

"I'm not asking for anything more."

"You deserve more than this... better than me. I am painfully aware of that truth. But still, I can't let you go."

"Jungkook," I started, my voice steady, knowing I had to reach him amidst the chaos.

"Why? Why is it so hard?" He muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, weighed down by the burden of his feelings. "Why did you have to appear now in my life and complicate everything? Why did you have to wake me up from the numbness I'd grown so accustomed to? Sometimes I hate you so much. Please, don't make me feel worse—I can't carry more than what I'm already bearing. My baggage is overflowing, teetering on the edge of collapse. I am on the verge of losing my mind. This feeling... this thing I have for you... it's too intense, too overwhelming. It isn't meant for me, and I don't want this. I'm so sorry for these thoughts. But I want it to end now. Make it stop."

As I observed him crumbled and weeping before me, I couldn't help but reach out. My hand found its way to his head, fingers moving gently through his tangled hair, as if trying to weave some comfort into his shattered soul. He looked so frail, so broken, a shadow of the person he once was.

"Please. Please help me," he choked out, his voice thick with despair. "You... You are the only one I have left. I have no one else to reach out to for this. I know I'm being selfish. I know I am weak. But please... I'm begging you... I just want to sleep and never wake up. I want everything to cease. I'm so tired. It needs to end."

My heart sank as I swallowed the tears threatening to spill. Within me surged a cacophony of pain, screaming for release, but I couldn't let him see how affected I was. I had to be strong—for him. He was already in a dark place; if I fell apart too, who could alleviate his suffering but me?

"Make it stop. Please, my lady. Please," he pleaded, his voice trembling with emotion. "I can't bear this pain any longer. I am exhausted."

I wrapped my arms around his head, holding him close, whispering softly, "Didn't I promise that I would always take care of you? How many times have I said that?" I pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, fighting back the wave of sorrow threatening to overflow. "I would do anything for you, you know that? Anything you would ask of me. It must always be this way."

While holding him with one arm, my other hand took the syringe. My heart raced with anxiety, each heartbeat echoing in my chest like a drum. The emotions coursing through me were almost suffocating. Every time I resorted to this, it felt like a dagger plunged into my chest.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice laced with vulnerability.

Those two words struck my heart more than anything else ever could. I could feel him trusting me, and that burden resonated deeply within me. I steadied my hand, wrapping my fingers around the syringe, and with a deep breath, I pressed it into his neck, the needle piercing his skin with a finality that made my heart ache. After injecting the serum, I let the syringe slip from my fingers, forgotten on the floor as I showered his face with kisses—his cheek, his brow, every inch of him that had captured my heart.

"You are more than I ever wanted. Never doubt that," I breathed, our eyes locking, the connection between us tangible in the charged air.

"Ah... so this is how it feels when someone says it," Jungkook said, smiling softly as he gazed into my eyes. "What good have I done to deserve someone like you?"

"You deserve so much more," I replied, tears streaming down my face, revealing the pain I had hidden for so long.

"Don't leave me. Never leave me," he pleaded, his hands trembling as he entwined his fingers with mine, lifting my hand to press against his damp cheek. "Please don't leave me alone."

"Never. I promise. I will always be right here with you," I reaffirmed, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside.

His smile widened, a flicker of peace illuminating his features as I sensed the approaching end—his consciousness slipping away into the dark abyss.

"Never wake me up. I really... you…" His voice faded, barely a whisper, but the impact of his words echoed in my heart.

I felt his weight shift, leaning into me, and in that moment, I realized everything was coming to a close. The light in his eyes dimmed, leaving behind an emptiness that swallowed my heart whole. And then, unable to restrain myself any longer, I screamed—a raw, heart-wrenching sound that echoed with my pain, frustration, and anger at the life that had dealt him such an unfair hand.

I held his warm, unconscious body tightly in my arms, letting the tears flow freely, crying until no more tears could come—until the grief became a dull ache within me.

I love you so much!

Next: Epilogue