"If I never see you again
I will always carry you
inside
outside
on my fingertips
and at brain edges
and in centers
centers
of what I am of
what remains."
---------Charles Bukowski.
**********
E.H.
Silence prevailed as we remained embracing each other.The heavy breathes slowed down as we were lulled by our rhythmic heart beats....in sync.So peaceful it felt..... finally we were sharing a moment even though it might be of remorse.
The moon was out in the sky, pouring its ivory tinge over the gloomy world around as we continued to breathe in each other.It seemed like centuries since we were us again. A minute later though,Blue wiped her face, sniffed and pushed me back.The trance was broken. Then as usual she started glowering at me with her fists clenched tight. Clearly she wanted to punch me hard,right on the face as she had done in the past.I smiled at the memory.It had been foolish but nevermind it now.
Standing in front of her that too at home appeared to be so surreal. She had changed her attire after the service. Now a pair of grey trousers with a black tank top,a waterfall shrug and a cashmere scarf adorned her.I don't know how she could make me breatheless even in her casual clothes,.....not that I regret.She would always be my Goddess whom I would worship from afar.
I sighed.It wasn't the way I visualized my homecoming yet what could be done.Few incidents were simply inevitable. Thus, vigilantly I walked upto Blue and carefully took her fists in mine.She didn't withdrew.Only she closed her eyes momentarily as if clear out the haze of tears and emotions.
And unfortunately chosing that instant,Noah barged in the drawing room with a grimacing face. On observing Noah one would perceive that he was scowling at us but when I saw Blue to tense up,I followed her gaze.By the mantelpiece he stood with a manila envelope.Slowly he extended his hand as he informed,"It's an envelope left for you guys by Angie...."
And that's it,again the floodgates of heart opened up.
I held Blue in my arms immediately as she accepted the letter from Noah.I knew it in my bones that to face this we needed each other.....together.
And together we caressed the envelope with our Angie's scribble ,"To Ma and Da."...it said.