22/10/2020

Today has been hell! Absolute hell.

To start, when I woke my arm had shifted to wolf form. Just my arm, nothing else at all. It is actually shockingly hard to get dressed with one arm having claws and not having an opposable thumb.

That was overcome, after much frustration and two pairs of ripped boxer shorts, by going commando in jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. Breakfast was far more difficult. I couldn't cook anything so popped some cereal in a bowl and tried to eat left handed.

Bloody hell eating with your off hand is impossible, I knew I was holding the spoon wrong but couldn't figure out how to hold it correctly. Then once I actually had cereal balanced on the spoon, getting that into my mouth was infuriating. I kept tipping at the wrong point and half of it was either back in the bowl or down my hard won t-shirt.

I gave up in the end, it just wasn't worth the hassle. Given that I was covered in a shameful amount of milk and mushy cereal by this point I figured a shower could be pretty nice. The wet t-shirt and jogging bottoms we straight into the washing machine while I strolled naked, with a weird wolf arm still, to the bathroom.

This presented a whole host of other issues, none of which I had thought of.

To begin, I had just as much trouble washing left handed as I did eating. It was just all backwards and infuriating. I'm not an idiot, I know how to shower but bloody hell it was far harder than it should have been.

Then, the slightly more embarrassing issue that I really should have realised before getting into the shower. It came in two connected parts. Drying was obviously an issue, not only because I could only use one hand but also as drying a super hairy arm doesn't actually work too well.

Its kind of like trying to dry a dog, you can get a lot of the wet off but as a whole the dog is still soaked. That's what my arm was like, a large wet wolf arm that was all hairy, tangled and wet. I had to brush the knots out of my arm hair! It was longer than my head hair. What is up with that?

To add insult or injury, the second issue was that I smelt like wet dog for hours. When I say hours, I'm talking three hours for the smell to fade off and another four before my arm shifted back.

On top of all that, Sara popped round after about two hours so was fully aware of everything. She walked in to find my half naked, having given up on getting redressed, laying on the couch with my wet arm hanging off the edge.

I think the laughing lasted for a solid ten minutes before she could contain it enough to actually step in properly and shut the front door. I tried throwing a cushion at her but missed wildly and almost knocked a speaker off its shelf.

Sara turned out to be quite sweet and helpful once the laughter died off. She happily drying my arm properly, cooking pizza for me and helped me get dressed. After that I sat eating the pizza and just relaxing while she played Assassin's Creed Odyssey some more. Seems she's getting as obsessed as I am with that game.

I was pretty shattered after a day of insane frustration and hassle so wasn't interested in staying up until 2am again. Sara however kindly offered to stay the night again in case anything happened during the night. That provided far more relief than it should have but I'm not above admitting that I needed the assistance today.

Plus it would be nice to wake up with her here, we're not sharing sleeping arrangements but I do enjoy her company and would like to see if we could take it further.