Whiskey Peak
Dear diary,
Today was really awful. I'm not even sure I really want to write it down...
########A few hours prior######
First stop: an inn. Once done, we will start touring and restocking. To avoid getting lost I ask Bella if she could look around for someone we could ask directions from. As strange as it sounds the dock was deserted, well, almost deserted.
????: "What do you want, I'm busy ?!" Said a 9 year old boy on the otherwise deserted docks.
"How rude !" Said Bella with a dangerous glint in her eyes before dragging the poor boy by his arm behind a warehouse's wall.
"That kid is toast !!!!" We all screamed inside our minds.
--------------------------
Kid: "I'm very sorry for my impoliteness, please let me apologize to you all."
It was really hard to hold back our laughter seeing him with all those fresh bumps on his head.
Bella has always been quite strict with etiquette, the old hag, Sylla, has a very high opinion of her thanks to that.
[Boom !]
Ella:"...."
Bella:"...."
Eric:"...."
Kid:"...?"
Roasted remains of a dumb, possibly future ex-husband:.... note to self: Learn to stop thinking dumb s**t about my ever-loving, beautiful and awsome wife.
Ella: "You never learn, uh ? You probably were thinking something rude about big sis Sylla."
Wait, since when did she call Sylla big sis ?
Bella: "She is right you know. I honestly don't know how big sis put up with you for all those years without strangling you to death."
Et tu, Bella ? I tought in my mind while crying inside. The poor kid is obviously confused. It's juste you and me both against the whole world ,little guy.
Kid: "She must be really pretty and nice if even big sis Bella calls her big sis too." He said with twinkling eyes full of admiration.
Damn it betrayed again ! Arrgh ! I knew it, I'm all alone in this damn world... I might as well just end it all....
Ella and Bella: "what are you doing with that trumpet ? And were did you take it from ?"
Tom: "Tremble puny humans ! Behold the trumpet of Armaggedon, bringer of humanity's Last Judgement ! Muahahahaha ! I will huff, and puff, and I'll blow your... [Boom !]"
Sylla: "This is confiscated. How did you even get this from my vault ?" She said while looking pointedly at me.
Ok, this was definitely not my brightest moment...
Kid: "Is that normal ?"
Eric, Ella and Bella: "Pretty much, yes"
Bunch of traitors, the lot of them...
Tom: "So, tell me, kid... We're planning to stay the night and depart tomorrow, any recommendations where to spend the night ?"
Kid: "Don't call me kid, dumbass ! I have a name !
Bella: *cough*
Oh s**t, Oh s**t, Oh s**t !
Kid and Tom: "We are sorry !"
All hail the power of the almighty Dogeza.
Don't call me a coward, this is basic survival instinct honed for millenias living with my sadis... magnanimous wife. *cold sweat*
Kid: "My name is Calvin, and to answer your question, the Red Rock Inn is quite cosy and affordable."
Tom: "Do you have a friend called Hobes, by chance ?"
Calvin: "The hell are you talking about ?!"
Eric: "It's just another one of his private jokes nobody except him understands..."
######A few moments later#######
On our way to Red Rock Inn, I observed that Whiskey Peak is a lot different than what was shown in the manga. I remember seeing bloodthirsty bounty hunters deceiving pirates with lavish parties, good food and pretty women. I wonder why it's so different ? I'd better ask my wives to be if they can make sense of why we didn't get mugged.
Ella: "Was it not you who said it was dumb to fly our Jolly Roger this soon into the Grand Line ?"
Oh my God ! I mean, Me ! I am so dumb...
How could I forget something like that ?! We don't even have bounties....
Bella: "I'm really starting to wonder if I was not too hasty in accepting to become your fiance...."
Way to put salt on my wounds you damn closet sadis... Uh ? Why did the temperature suddenly drop ?
Bella: "Oh my....You wouldn't be thinking something rude about your lovely fiance, right ?"
[Shing]
Tom: "Of course not, my love. But if you could move that scythe away from my neck that would be even lovelier,....please ?"
[Secret skill: Puppy dog eyes of doom]
Bella: ....
It was not very effective
Bella: "Mmh...what shall I do ?" Neck, my neck ! Watch it ! Where did you even get that scythe from ?!
Tom: "Help, Ella ! Help, Sylla ! Help, Eric !" I shouted while still at the mercy of one of the girls I learned to love.
Eric looked like he wanted to help but a smile from Ella promising untold pain should he intervene quickly dissuaded him of that idea. He looked at me with a pitying look. And of course there will be no salvation coming from Sylla. I can imagine her giving Bella a thumbs up from the sky.
And that kids...Is how you almost never met your father.