Chapter 1: First Love

September 2016,

My hands quivered as they lifted up above the keys. My mind racing a million miles an hour trying not to have an anxiety attack. 'It's just a crowd of people you know that could judge for the rest of your life. No big deal,' I thought to myself.

I felt the stares on my side but I still managed to bring the courage out and into the song. The piece meant a lot to me, so I pushed the negative thoughts out of my brain and played the song I knew so well. I pressed the first key of the composition and suddenly a small smile made its way onto my face.

I physically and mentally relaxed my body and the music flowed out of me like a river. As the song came to an end I stood up and bowed. The claps that sounded throughout the room made a swell of accomplishment come into my heart.

I made my way right to go backstage but before I could my left foot got caught on my right sending me crashing down to the ground. I felt a sharp sting of pain through my ankle as I heard a few spectators laugh. A small whimper left me and I lowered my head in shame. I rose again this time speeding off while walking properly to not fall and embarrass myself again.

The panic arose in me like earlier. The thumping in my chest was almost unbearable and it left my vision blurry. I shook again and black spots blotched my sight. As I turned the corner to run home I ran into something else. A wall...or so I thought. Why was this wall so warm?

Before I could ponder this more I felt myself fall almost completely unconscious. Hands held me still and a deep voice sang a song to me.

"In the streets full of flowers

I see you today too

Will it be in me"

The hands seemed to rub my arm in a calming way. Why is this person doing this for me? I don't deserve it. They don't even know me...

"In the park of the early morning

I have my feelings now

Towards this old yellow"

The blotches in my vision started to go away and the beating of my heart calmed.

"Illuminated by the moon

Listen to the film"

I looked up to see this stranger who helped me. They were looking down at me and soon our eyes met. His deep brown eyes were gazing at me with such kind and pure-hearted worry as they shone. I saw his beautiful dark brown hair that seemed to shape around his face in a way that I hadn't known possible. ~thump thump~

My face started to heat up a bit when I saw what position we were in. My body was being held by him while we both sat down. I soon picked myself up off the ground and bowed my head in gratitude and shame.

I quickly pulled out my notepad out of my pocket and smoothly wrote down the words, 'Thank you,' onto the piece of paper. I showed it to him and a confused emotion lit up in his eyes, but they soon held pity.

I hate that look. Especially from someone who didn't do anything wrong. 'I'm sorry if you're weirded out...I can't talk,' was written out on the paper. He quickly spoke, "Don't apologize. Umm..," he seemed hesitant, "Are you ok—um that was a stupid question. Of course, you're not okay." He was clearly still worried about my panic attack earlier.

I shook my head a little bit and showed him the next set of words I had for him to read. 'Don't worry about it. Really! Thank you for helping me get through that panic attack. It could have been way worse.' "It's the thing I ought to do."

'That's a great way of thinking. If only others thought that way,' the last part of the message made me sigh unconsciously. He looked down at his watch and quickly gasped. Reluctantly he stood up and bowed his head. "I need to go. My sister is performing in the talent show. Please take care of yourself..." I nodded my head at this and retreated from his grasp. Without much thought, he said, "I'm Kim Taehyung, I hope to see you again."

I placed the pen down once again and wrote, 'I'm Hee-Mang, nice to meet you and I hope to see you too.' An unfamiliar feeling arose in my heart. ~thump thump~