Fear

•••

" Where is he? The meeting is about to begin " Volga asked someone but, just like the four other guys she had asked before, this one also responded that he didn't know. She sighed longingly as she felt like she started to lose her cool, although that building was big she had practically inspected it in its whole, now she didn't know where else looking.

" You still can't find him? " someone shouted behind her. When she turned around she found Pam running toward her, once she reached her she bent while trying to catch her breath, [ she must have been looking for him on her side too ] Volga guessed, and at the same time she started imagining how should she punish him for causing so much trouble to the people, when he would catch him.

" Does he have the habit to disappear like this? Maybe he is in danger, I should gather a team to... "

Volga put her hands on her shoulders to stop her as she felt that she was about to start panicking, " keep calm, no need to go that far. He does have the habit to disappear like this, but he will eventually end by coming back. Well, let's do something, you will go find the other people and wait in the room we are supposed to hold the meeting and I promise to bring him there on time, okay? "

Pam nodded before she turned around to calmly walk in the direction she came from.

" I better find him quickly. That idiot, always makes people worry for nothing, " she sighed again. She took her time to think where she didn't search and where he would probably be until she finally figured out, a few seconds later, " why didn't I think about it earlier? " she reprimanded herself before going on her way.

•••

On the roof of the building, Jamal was sitting on the balustrade, hanging his feet in the air while staring at the starless sky. Behind him, he heard the metal door, leading to that quiet place, being opened and closed, he didn't even have to concentrate and listen to the rhythm of the footsteps to identify the person who was approaching. " You have taken your time, " he said without turning his head.

" Shut up. Do you have an idea of how many hours I have been looking for you? Downstairs people are really worried, " Volga started to scold him.

He pushed his body backward, leaned on his hands to jump, and landed on his feet after doing a backflip. " I told you, you people are worrying so much for nothing, " while talking, Jamal noticed that she was not comfortable being outside in that dark night as she didn't stop glancing in all the directions, as if she was expecting to see something to suddenly appear from the dark. " Let's get back inside, the meeting is surely about to start, that's why you were looking for me, weren't you? You will have all the time to scream at me later ".

She looked at him and nodded, it seemed that she had understood his intentions as she articulated a thank you without pronouncing it, moved by the subtlety he had used to avoid vexing her.

They quickly went down to the third floor, where the meeting was held in an enormous room big enough to contain Phil's entire army. There they found that people were quietly waiting and when the two of them entered they turned their heads to lay their eyes on him, which made him feel embarrassed. " I'm sorry for being late, I needed a moment alone to rearrange my thoughts, " Jamal quickly apologized before he went to sit on the place he had been attributed in front of everybody as if he was about to give a conference.

He didn't have to wait for the crowd to become silent as they were already calm so as soon as he sat on the chair he started his speech. " Hello everyone, I don't think I need to introduce myself since you surely have already heard of me, so I will start by the things you did not hear about, to save us some time, " he paused and observed the crowd again, " Konny plans to attack you tomorrow morning ".

As he had expected, the news caused some a fuss in the room. After they all gasped, people started commenting and exchanging their worries with each other. Earlier Jamal had asked the people who were present in the cave to not divulge that information as they didn't want to frighten them too early, but instead, they should wait until the reunion where he would tell them himself.

He clapped on his hands to bring the calm before he carried on, " their number is estimated to be three times greater than yours and each member of that army is mentally controlled by her, I suppose that you're already aware of her quite strange power, aren't you? Great, her objective must be this one; to behead Phil Langston and take the control of his army ".

Another wave of whispered was heard and at their reaction, it seemed that they didn't want to lose their boss no matter what. That manifestation of affection seemed to have moved the latter, Jamal noticed when he glanced at Phil on his side. On contrary to earlier, when he had first heard the news he started worrying about his own life, now he couldn't even hold his smile of satisfaction.

Jamal let them express their indignation for a short moment before he continued, " alright, now let's analyze what that means. That means that the order she will give to her men would not especially be 'kill the rebels' but it will be something like 'to break through this place, find Phil and kill him at all cost', " he paused and as he thought, most of them still couldn't get what he wanted to say, " in that case, it means that it's not compulsory for you to fight them head-on, in fact, you don't even have to fight them but just give them the illusion that you do ".

They started to look at each other verifying if they had understood the same thing as it was quite a confusing statement. A man, bolder than the others, raised his hand to ask " if I understand well, you are telling us to just let them break through our HQ without resisting too much? "

Jamal smiled before he answered, " that's right ". People started releasing some exclamations as they were astonished by this plan and naturally he went on explaining it more in detail, " the point is that there is no way you could win by fighting them face to face and even if we go on using some strategies to beat them the cost would be too high as many of you would die and there is no point to do something like that since the reason I came here is to save your lives not to sacrifice them ".

" But if they managed to make it until here, we still risk losing our lives because we will be trapped in the building and there will be no way to escape, " someone said.

" Who said that you have to stay here? " Jamal replied, " you have to consider the fact that Konny doesn't know that you're aware of her plan. For her I am supposed to be dead and my two friends here... " he pointed to Volga and Carla who were sitting in the first row in front of him, " ...are somewhere outside trying to survive the night. That means that you can abandon this place and hide somewhere else without any problem. As I have told you, you just have to give the illusion that you are here fighting them ".

They started to nod as things began to become clearer.

Jamal stood up from his chair and declared " so here is the plan: we will split into two groups. Tomorrow early in the morning the half of you or maybe more will leave the building to go hide in some different positions in the area and your job will consist of holding the progression of Konny's army as much as you can. No need to engage in a real fight just to frighten them by attacking them from time to time. Don't hesitate to flee if you feel like you're in danger, if you play it well they will not try to chase you therefore there will be no risk for you die there; the other half will stay here with me and Phil, you will position yourself in the highest levels of the building and will stop the rest of Konny's men, as many as you can to enter here. Don't push yourself too hard since she will anyway manage to enter in but don't worry because after that it will be our mission, " he said while looking at Phil, who glanced at him back, looking confused, " we will have to draw her attention on you so that those men of yours who will be upstairs will not be in danger. But do not worry about your life, I will protect you at all cost. When you will be alone with her, I will come to kill her ". Jamal stopped and stared at them.

For a long moment, the room was completely silent, meanwhile, Jamal went to sit back on his chair. People were looking at each other, chatting, questioning themselves about that plan, but the time passed and no one stood to protest or say a word against it. Jamal together with Volga, Pam, and Carla had been plotting about it and until then it was the best plan they could come out with and which could guarantee the safety of everyone.

In the end, when he esteemed having been enough patient, he stood up again and said " if no one has any objections we may stick with this plan, " he paused to give them one last chance to express themselves but still no reaction, so he carried on, " alright, now it's time to decide about the configuration of the groups. We don't want to impose anything on anyone so it's up to you to decide in which team do you want to belong but I may ask you to make it fair and equal in a way it will stick to the plan, don't forget that each post has great importance in the accomplishment of this mission ". Jamal gave them time to think and consult themselves before he said, " so let's start, who want to belong to the first group who will be staying outside? "

There were ten rows of eight columns of chairs as if they had been planning since a moment, the people who were sitting on the four columns, on Jamal's left, stood up to form the first group of soldiers who would stay outside while the other half who stayed still on their seats would constitute the second group.

Jamal smiled, glad to see that they were cooperative, " so it's settled, thank you very much for your contribution ". His smile vanished for a moment as he was about to conclude, when he turned the head Volga looked at him and nodded before he declared, " one more thing, I wanted to add that I have a favor to ask you. I know that it is something inappropriate to say since the situation is already at your disadvantage and that you have enough pressure on your shoulders, but as a leader, I'm responsible for many people's lives, not only yours but also those of my comrades who are actually controlled by Konny. So my favor here is that tomorrow please restrain yourselves from killing, I have emphasized the point that you don't have to engage in the fight but just to give the illusion that you are fighting because I would want you to spare the lives of those people who have been accompanying me in this journey. They are just victims who are being controlled, so unless you encounter a situation of life or death please don't kill them, I'm sure they will be free the moment I would kill Konny ".

He stopped to stare at them, waiting for their answer and their reaction was such that he couldn't have predicted it. One after another they stood up to applaud him, he was very surprised by such cheers which moved him a lot, " thank you, thank you very much " he said to them with a hand on his chest to show his gratitude.

After that Phil ordered his men to go get some sleep while reminding them that they would have to wake early the next day. On his side, instead of going to the room he had been given, Jamal changed direction and decided to return to the roof, but on his way he ran into Volga, she was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed as if she was waiting for him. " You are planning to go up and stay alone outside in the darkness of the night again? " she asked him when he passed next to her, she moved to go stand in front of him, " what obsesses you so much about being there? How? Why don't you have an ounce of fear like everyone after what happened that night? "

He plunged his eyes into hers but didn't respond, he quite understood what she was feeling. Since her young age, she must have been living her life while considering herself being the most courageous person she had ever known, more than any other man, and that attitude had led her to be most probably one of the best soldiers of her generation. She had been living her life knowing that she was more capable and brave than any other man, but that awful night had changed the lives of every people, brave or not, everyone who had assisted to it had been left with an indelible trace of it in their minds, even her. Since then, like everyone else, she had been incapable to put a step outside in the night, she would console herself knowing that not only her but every other people were scared and that she was still the bravest but since she had met him she was no more sure about that.

" Why am I not afraid of the night, huh? " Jamal repeated the question while looking like he was wondering. " It is not like there is anything about it that particularly obsesses me, neither I'm trying to prove anything, " he paused, " it's just that when I'm there it's easier for me to find answers to the questions I often ask myself, I can find there some sort of appeasement. And concerning why I'm not scared... I want to ask you where were you during that catastrophe? "

Volga had a moment of hesitation, like everybody else, it's been a while since she didn't try to recall it, and being asked such a request all of sudden naturally put her on guard, however, she managed to pull herself together and answer " I... I was outside in a park doing my nocturnal jogging ".

" So was I. Like most of the people, we were on the first seats when it started, you saw it with your eyes. That night everyone had the same reaction, to flee and find somewhere safe to hide, but I didn't. While people around me were running away I didn't move. I stayed still where I was, alone, because I thought I needed to see everything, " he paused, " I think it's greatly because of that I'm not afraid. I'm not saying that those people were all cowards and, to say the truth, it's actually the opposite. Instead of me, they had the sanity to flee because they valued their own lives ".

Volga took the time to understand what he wanted to say. When came to subjects like that she would always take him seriously without trying to judge him. They understood each other very well, that was why they became such close in such a short time.

" So what you say is that you're not scared because you don't have any consideration for your own life? Even though you have so many people who love you and are counting on you while hoping to see come back to them alive? " she asked a little confused.

" It's weird, isn't it? I have a family, friends and all that I need to be happy in life and I am actually happy, I do enjoy my life, probably more than most people, but I still can't attach myself to this happiness and this life, " Jamal chuckled while stroking the back of his head, " I have everything to lose but I'm not scared at all ".

Volga wondered while staring at him before she asked him, " If, for example, you get trapped in a desperate situation when you don't see any way to survive what would you do? "

" I would anyway continue to fight, " he answered straight away, " not because I'm scared of losing my life but because I still have responsibilities toward the people I love, and I don't want to be a reason for them to be sad ". He noticed that she was even more confused, what amused him, he laughed a little before he added, " to make it simple, I'm not scared of the night because I don't see any danger in it ".

" That still doesn't help me much, " Volga sighed, she then took a deep breath and said, " alright let's go ".

Jamal gazed at her, surprised " what? You're coming with me? "

" I won't get it unless I see it by myself, so yes I'm coming with you. I'm confident to find there, answers to my questions, too, and at the same time get rid of my fear, " she said with a smile.

" Alright so let's go, " he said.

When they reached the roof Volga looked up at the starless sky, took another deep breath before she laid her back on the floor, she was still scared as it's impossible to get rid of one's fear so easily but she felt like she was more at ease than before.

Jamal imitated her and went to lie beside her. After a long moment of silence, the woman asked him, " what do your family think about what you have told me? "

" Nothing, " he confessed while slowly closing his eyes, " because they feel the same way ".