Parallel lines

"S--senpai... I-- I like you! please go out with me!" She said while her upper body bent into a respectful bow, hands on her knees.

She was two years younger and was a freshman in the same college as I was. We had known each other for only a few months. I only helped her out at some of our same subjects, yet was oblivious to what she felt before she confessed today.

"I'm sorry. I have someone I love deeply. I cannot go out with you." I said to her truthfully, eyes looked at hers, tear starting to form at her round black eyes, to which I had avoided now. Then started walking away.

"Wow, Riyuuji, didn't know you're a lady killer with that normal not so handsome look of yours? So, that was the freshman, right? What a waste, and she was actually really cute." A guy friend of mine said. "Shut up Kaji, if you want her then go to her" I hissed as my mood isn't that good. I don't like these kinds of situations. I'm not much to look at, and sometimes I even wonder what other girls like about me. But the fact is I've hurt someone again. "You know. you'll end up a virgin until your 30s my dear friend." He said jokingly while emailing someone on his phone. "Yeah? well, so what." My anger is already evident in my tone. He really picked the perfect time to tease me, what a jerk. "Stop looking at me like you're going to tear me apart, just telling you the truth. Well, gotta go. Unlike you, I have to attend to the ladies. See ya Riyuuji, oh and by the way. Say Hi to Ayami for me okay?" he said while laughing and avoiding my not so serious punch as he runs away.

"Like I ever gonna introduce you dirty dog to her." I hissed while I walk back to my house. I stopped by the park with no one but me, as the sun goes down I sat in front of the fountain in the middle of the park while I lit my cigar. As I watch the smoke rise up to the reddish sky.

"What are you going to do with your project? Why are you always so passive? Aren't you worried about your future? Why haven't you told her you love her? It'd be easier if you confessed to her than to hide your feelings." She said to me while I look blankly at the dim sky which would cry of rain at any moment, my back against the grassy field of the back school grounds. Looking at the smoke from my cigar as I point it upwards and let it burn down on its own. "Why does it have to be me, Rina?" I asked her, eyes still at the dim sky which is already showering gentle rain. "It'll be faster if you find someone else." I said sitting up straight and putting out the lit on my cigar on the ground as I stand up and walked away.

A familiar ringtone suddenly broke my daze as I quickly pick up the call. "Riyuuji?" a sweet voice called out my name. "Hi Ayumi, what's the matter?" I answered. Concern on my voice, eyes closed imagining her sad face as evident to how she called out my name. "I think... I think I'm in love." My eyes opened widely to surprise but soon revert back to normal. I had expected this, she had been asking about how or what guys think about situations, it didn't take a genius to figure it out. "Oh? my little Ayami in love? Are you sure it's not just a crush?" My mind went blank and just answered her pretending to be cheerful. "Of course it isn't just a crush! jeez! You really find it funny to tease me in this situations! Anyway, can I come to your place tomorrow? I want to talk about it with you. You're already like my big brother and I don't have someone that close yet to talk these new emotions with." She said pleadingly. "Alright. you have a spare key to our house right? Come by tomorrow I don't have any class.... okay? Good, don't forget to eat. Okay.... Bye." I stared on the phone for a few minutes. Her number and our ended call still on the home screen of my phone, showing the few minutes which we spent talking. I have known since our childhood that she only sees me as a brother. She doesn't have any siblings and we met a few days after my little sister's funeral. At first, I thought she was just like a little sister, she had some similarities to my dead little sister, to which may be why I became attached to her. But then as I know her more. I realized that she is very different from my sister. She's much gentler and gullible which I find very cute and somehow I wanted to protect her. I never knew it would turn to love, right before high school, when someone tried to kiss her forcefully. I was just passing by when I saw the boy tried to force his lips on her. Next thing I knew I was already beating up the boy. I was so angry and did not realize I was beating the boy so bad until I felt arms tighten around me, and her chest against my back. The boy was sent to the hospital and I was suspended. I also broke my right hand, and it never healed completely after that.

I continued to walk back home, still in daze, still unable to believe it. I know that if I confessed to her, what we have right now would crumble. I know she would avoid me and be conscious of my presence. I know it all to which I never dared to tell her I love her. I had prepared myself for this day as I know she will not be a little girl forever. I know she will find someone she will love not as a brother or a friend, but as a man. I know but it still hurts like hell.

The one you love the most would love you back the same way as well. It's so simple, yet why is it.... Why won't it come together? Like parallel lines bound to never meet each other. I feel like it will never come together.