Chapter 9

My sister stayed for two weeks but she had to get back to work. I was sad to see her go, but I knew I needed to get back to work myself. I was still heartbroken, but I had to keep moving on. After my sister went to the airport, I headed to the HYBE building. I hadn't been there in a while and I got some odd looks, but they let me in without any issues. I headed to the practice room to look for Jimin since I was technically working for him right now. I wasn't ready to face Yoongi yet. Jimin looked horrified when he saw me. "Kisara...you look...did you go to the hospital? Have you been eating? You've lost even more weight…" he was by my side in a moment. I forced myself to smile. "It's just part of this whole thing, Jimin. I promise I'll be ok." Jimin informed me that Yoongi had locked himself in his studio a lot these days. I wasn't surprised, when he was upset about anything he threw himself into his work more than normal. Which was saying a lot. "Well… I'm not ready to face him yet anyway. But what can I do for you? I already looked over your schedule for the week. It's going to be a busy week." I warned him. He was used to this though so he just chuckled. "It's alright. Thank you for being so diligent. I gotta get back to practice, you can go to your office for now. Take it easy."

I nodded and thanked him. I took the long way to my office, purposely passing Yoongi's studio. I could hear faint music coming from inside but I couldn't make out any specifics. I wondered how long it had been since he had eaten. Not that it should be my concern. I sighed and hurried away to my office where I began working on things for Jimin. He had a solo album coming up and he was working very hard on it. He still had to do promotions for it and everything, and everything except the music video was complete. I was preparing for an interview and approving questions that he would be able to answer. Nothing too personal. Maybe something a little fun. Mostly I was making sure they would stick to the facts. She didn't even hear someone come into her office.

"I heard you were back...you have some guts coming here, girl," anger boiled in me at the voice of Yun Hee. "I work here. YOU are the one that shouldn't be here. Shouldn't you be...I don't know...at your own job? Either way, you're not welcome in my office." I spoke through my teeth, trying to stay as calm as I could. She just laughed and threw her head back. "It doesn't matter. He's mine now. I heard you don't even work with him anymore. I hope you learned your lesson. Stay away from him...or else I'll ruin you." I glared at her, sending daggers with my eyes. "Get. Out."

Before I could say anything else, my heart stopped. "There you are...we have stuff to do. Leave her alone." Yoongi came into view. He looked at me for a quick second, but I couldn't read his face. Yun Hee whined and clung onto him. "But why is she still here? She was mean to me." Yoongi rolled his eyes. "She's nothing. She was my assistant and now she's not. I can't put the poor girl completely out of a job when she did nothing wrong. Now let's go. We have to go eat lunch together." He pulled Yun Hee out of my office without another look or word.

I got up and locked my door so nobody else could come in. I covered my mouth to hold back a sob. No way could I let her know I was crying. I took a few minutes to calm down before getting back to work. Later that evening my friends sent me a tabloid from an online magazine that kept up with korean stars. There was an article about Yoongi and Yun Hee. It said while they were seen together and she had come out and stated that they were together, neither HYBE nor Yoongi had confirmed or denied the rumors. They also said that he was a player and seen with numerous girls, which was an outright lie, but people believed that stuff. I packed up my stuff and went home, saying goodbye to Jimin first.

I knew I needed to talk to Yoongi before he found out some other way. Not that he would care, but he should at least know. He didn't seem the least bit interested in talking to me. He had convinced himself that I would be better off with Jimin. That he wasn't good enough for me and that he couldn't make me happy the way Jimin did. If only I had known what was going on in his mind at the time, I could have quelled his fears. We could have avoided all this. Again. Lack of communication tore us apart.

About a month passed and I finally went to my new specialist. I had an ultrasound to monitor things and make sure nothing was going wrong. More blood work was done and the Dr told me to come back in about a month to check on things again. She was worried about the weight I'd lost and ordered me special nutritional drinks to try to help me gain a little weight back since I was too skinny. She adjusted some of my meds and then sent me on my way. I was told that Yoongi was still paying for my health insurance, but that he didn't know what I was being seen for. I sighed in relief and asked them not to tell him until I could talk to him myself.

They agreed because of patient confidentiality, but if he ever actually read the bills, my diagnosis would be on it. Luckily they only billed once a month and he usually just paid without paying much attention. I knew I had some time to figure things out before telling him. When I got home, Jimin called asking how my appointment went and told me that Yoongi had been asking about me. He had scolded Jimin and told him to take better care of me. I mumbled something about him needing to mind his business, and Jimin reminded me that just meant he still cared. That made no sense to me. If he still cared, why was he doing this to me?

I wouldn't get an answer for a while. Another month passed and I rarely saw Yoongi. I knew my time was running out and I wouldn't be able to hide things much longer. My condition would become apparent to all. Yoongi spent his time in his studio and occasionally was spotted out and about with Yun Hee. He avoided seeing me and when he did, he avoided any conversation. I stayed long hours at work, often working after most people went home just so I wouldn't have to be home alone. One night I was running some paperwork back to the director's office just before leaving the building. It was 1am and I'd had an appointment the afternoon before, which was part of the reason I was here so late. I had the papers along with my purse and things that needed to come home with me.

I wasn't paying much attention because of all that was on my mind when I bumped into someone that also wasn't paying attention. We both dropped our things. "I'm sorry, i-"

"I'm sorry." two voices spoke simultaneously. We reached down to try to pick up our things and our hands bumped into each other. A spark flickered between us and I looked up to see Yoongi staring at me all wide eyed. My lips moved but no words came out. "Are you ok?" he asked softly. Our hands were still touching and I had to look away from the intensity of his gaze. "I'm...fine. I've got to go…" I picked up the rest of my things and hurried off to the director's office. I didn't realize that we had picked up some of each other's things. Apparently he didn't either because he walked away as well.

I turned in the paperwork and hurried out to my car. It wasn't until I went home and dug through my purse that I realized the ultrasound was missing. "Fuck…" I ran my hand through my hair. Obviously he hadn't seen it yet. Or had he and he really didn't care? My mind was racing and I was trying to figure it out. I'd try to get it back from him before he realized what it was.

Yoongi had put the stuff back in his office without going through it and had gone home for the night. Yun Hee had been waiting for him, but he just shut the door in her face and went to bed. He sighed and took a long hot bath before going to bed. The next day he was early to his office despite having been there so late the night before. He was in his office and going through the music sheets he had printed out. Something fell out between pages as he picked them up. He reached down to see what it was. He stared at it curiously. It had my name on it and yesterday's date. It was some kind of picture. It looked like...a sonogram? He blinked several times and stared at the paper again. He stared at the paper again and then looked away and back again.

"Oh my god…" his hand shook as he stared. He had to find me now. He held onto the picture and ran into the hallway. He ran past other workers as he headed towards my office. I wasn't in yet, so he turned around and began looking for me. "Kisara!" he yelled and then ran when he saw me. "My eyes widened and I froze. "Yoongi, what-" he waved the sonogram picture in my face. His first thought had been Jimin, he had to know. "How far along are you?...." he whispered as he stared at me intently. "10 weeks…" I whispered. He dropped the sonogram and pulled me into a hug. "Baby...I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," he was almost crying. "Are you ok? Why didn't you tell me? No, I didn't give you the chance…" He played with my hair as he buried his face in my neck. "It's not real. We got paid handsomely for a scandal with her. I just…didn't think I was good enough for you. I thought you'd be happier with Jimin."

I stared at him in disbelief. Not good enough? Happier with Jimin? What was he on? Crack? "What?" I pulled away from him and stared at him. "Not good enough? You're my sun. I can't live without you….baby. You're just everything…" I looked down and he lifted my chin. "I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, Kisara. I swear I'll make it up to you. Just please tell me you'll keep it." I stared at him in disbelief. Again. "That's not even a question. You couldn't pay me to do that. Yoongi...this changes everything. Your child will be at risk if we don't handle this and ARMY correctly. I'm scared...What about your career? We didn't plan this. We're stuck together forever, linked by our child...it's...it's all so much."

Yoongi kissed my lips to hush me gently. I whimpered and kissed him back softly before he pulled away. I pouted and he looked me in the eyes. "We will figure it out, baby. Unexpected, but I would have wanted this someday with you anyway. We can have a meeting with the director and the board. We will decide what to tell people. First we will have to respond to the other rumors about me and Yun Hee. But you..back to you...I'm surprised...but I wouldn't want this with anyone else." He hugged me tightly again.

"Yoongi...employees come in soon, we can't be seen like this here. Not yet." I stood up too quickly and almost fell, but Yoongi's strong arms caught me. "Whoa...Take it easy." he steadied me. "Let me walk you to your office. I want you back as my assistant, but I don't think that's a good idea until we know what the company wants to do and say. But I'll be around more often. Especially after the announcement. Give me your phone," he took my phone from me and put his new number in it. He changed his number often because of fans anyway, so this wasn't that unusual. He walked me to my office and made sure I was comfortable. "I'm keeping this by the way." He waved the sonogram picture at me and then put it in his pocket before leaving to go tell the boys first and then the CEO and director.