The Only Chapter

It was Independence day and like every year the state was called on strike by a liberal organization they want freedom from living in a free country and demand their own country. It is not safe at all going out, bomb blast is common on this day.

Last night I bought about 250 grams of Paneer asks my wife Uma to cook a tasty curry today. When she opened the pack son said,

"Will it be sufficient for three of us I mean it is too little", a sudden rage of anger took over me, I ran to him,

"what you said? little huh! Do you know what it cost, 100 rupees. Do you know what it takes to earn that money? When you will earn then you will understand. Now shut your mouth."

Though my words have no effect on him, my wife was crying, she requested him not to say that again but he just laughs on the situation. He is 18+ but no sign of maturity is it visible.

I watched the live telecast of Independence day from The Red Fort with family between this time I also change the channel to see how many bombs went off. The breaking news showing 3 at different locations. Rest part of the day was boring, I just miss my workplace, my shop, I hate strikes.

It was almost midnight when I received a call from my brother I answered quickly, hoping that everything is fine. It is not at all expected that anyone, especially my family members will call me at midnight.

"Hello, Yes"

"Hello brother, come quickly mom isn't responding. She is senseless"

I jumped out of the bed and ran to Pankaj,

"Wake up! Wake up! Pankaj"

"Yeah, I'm awake, what happens, what's the matter?"

Uma, followed me asking, "are you okay? Who was on the call?"

"Rinku, he said mom is not responding, maybe unconscious, can't say now, let's go".

We reached there five minutes later. The neighbors are already gathering hearing the cries.

I Run to my mother and slowly touched her hand it was cold like she is frozen. The thought that she might be no more ran through my body, giving a goosebump. She is not showing any response, and breathing is very slow.

Yes it hurts, the thought of losing your mother I cried too, but not for too long.

When I looked around, I see only faces with false tears, most of them are more relieved than in grief, so as me but, I want her to wake up again, at least to realize what she had earned in this life.

It was getting late "hurry to call the ambulance or it will be too late." I said.

Soon the ambulance arrived.

Suddenly many thoughts started coming on my mind. I was thinking why am I happy more than sad. Maybe at least now she is free from the never-ending drama. I am happy she is silent, sleeping.

Today anyone can touch her without washing their hands and feet nor she will react if you will do this-this might be the end of untouchability.

The way she uses to react when a guest visit us at home, and as soon as they leave,

"Wash that chair, bring the Ganga Jal and spread it all over the boundary",

Yes, exact same thing every time.

Gradually friends come to know about it, and now no one visits our home.

My son hates her too much, " go touch her feet for the last time", I said but he refused while getting into the ambulance.

We have a never-ending line of family members and everyone has already gathered but as expected hardly countable neighbors and friends had shown up.

As the ambulance started, I went into deep thought about her whole life and my connection to it.

It might be hard for you to understand why I am telling you all this? why I am happy rather than sad? why not many friends and neighbors showed up? The reason behind this started very long ago.

When I was about 6 years old from when she, my mother stopped not suddenly but gradually working in the kitchen, and looking after us.

She taught me how to cook so that I can cook for her and my family. Although my father used to help me in the kitchen from that time only she turned into a woman who just stayed inside a room and never tolerates anyone entering that room not even us, except my father.

I am blessed with two sisters and four brothers and I am the eldest of them all.

Many said, "your father knows nothing to do than just playing cards and producing babies."

It was right too because all day he just wastes his time playing cards. For him, it was an easy source of income but things don't go well every day, isn't it?

Many nights we slept empty stomach because we had no money to buy food or the ration. We are used to eating only the sattu for many nights.

One major source of our ration is the MaalGaari that used to halt at our small railway station and we all run to the station to collect the leftovers which fall while unloading.

The Maalgaari used to carry goods for the army and this food is stored at the godown near to our house.

While some bags of rice being destroyed by rats spreading all the rice on the floor of the platform we collect them all, a good source of food for our family, isn't it.

Eventually, time went by as I grew up I got involved in more laborious work to earn some money.

After a lot of humiliation, my father, at last, started a bakery in the nearby area somehow our living standards were getting better just then he, again got involved in cards and lost even the bakery.

I was in 4th standard when the national emergency was called and so my school life was put into an end. It was really a hard time for the whole Nation.

Since no meeting or any kind of group gathering wasn't allowed, playing card was banned too.

Thank the almighty at least now he, father worked to earn a living.

My youngest sister and two brothers were sent to maternal grandmother's place as we, I and my father are unable to bear the expenses of the whole family.

Every day, I and my close friends walked 10 km to the town for work and return home late at night. Then prepare dinner, sleep and then again the same routine the next day.

Every day I wished I will get to eat something from her hands but I never got before my marriage.

I was about 16 years old now. My sisters never went to school because for mother they were a baby sitter for their younger brothers. But two of my four brothers did complete their graduation later.

About the other two one is die-hard fan of Bollywood and other is the right hand of my mother.

He is the one standing by her in her every bad or good thing she did to everyone.

I got married at 18 and my wife was just 14. Don't worry no one cares whether it is legal or illegal but she married me I am glad she did.

Just after marriage, she was severely sick, diagnosed with diarrhea.

this led to an amazing incident.

Since my wife was sick, mother cooked mutton for everyone after a long time I feel myself up to the neck. I was happy and so as everyone.

Four years after marriage we finally got a chance to get a physical relationship because she was not 18 before that day.

Time went by and we were finally expecting a new member in the family just then she, mother showed her other faces too.

She called me and said,

"find yourself rent house till the baby is born. I don't want to curse my home with her blood spreading all around."

That broke my heart I cried and left to find a room, low cost but suitable to live in and I found one.

Living there was tough because my earnings were still not enough. Sometimes I stayed out the whole night for work and Uma was left alone at home. However, she never complained but I do know she needed me the most at that time.

My mother on other hand taught me not to help her but now I can clearly see what she was up to and what she wanted me to do I disobeyed leading to serious consequences.

Very soon I became the father of a beautiful princess. Held her in hand and promised to work even harder to fulfill everything she is going to need.

After three weeks of her birth, my mother called us back home, the previous one but it seems like she had a hard time letting us in.

When we arrived she sat beside the wall and call my first younger brother the faithful to her, she said, "if your wife will apologize for what she has done and bow before your brother I will let you in."

"What had she done?" I asked

"She gave birth to a girl", she replied.

Hearing this, Uma anger broke out, she said "I was there with him from last one year. Some nights I stayed alone too. No one of you ever cared whether I'm dead or alive, not even asked how I was doing. I would rather kill you than bowing before you, let us in or…" and she cried.

Cannot resist I oppose my mother she slammed me for being by her side and supporting my wife and not her. We entered inside.

There was no formal conversation between her and my wife for almost a week.

Things were getting normal slowly. Being the only daughter in law of the family she has to look after all the works and daily chores.

She used to get too busy in chores that she even forget sometimes that she has a daughter.

My sisters also, they hate to look after my daughter. She keeps on crying while Hungry and slowly went to sleep nobody gives damn care about my daughter and I am included in this too. I worked very far and sometimes stayed there as usual.

Somehow within two years of my daughter's birth, my wife was pregnant again.

Everyone was happy though my mother seems to be disappointed. She said, "take her to her mother's place or she will again give us a girl."

Huh! Sounds creepy but it is believed that if a pregnant woman gives birth to a baby at her mother's place the chances of a boy is more.

She was 8 months pregnant when I dropped her at her mother's place. Her brothers, all six of them fear me very much as I never spoke to them politely and also the fear that I will leave Uma, their sister.

I am quite liking it and getting used to it. Whenever I visit them I start giving them unsolicited advice, I returned home.

After a few days, Uma went for a routine checkup and for her surprise doctor said to deliver a baby only by surgery as there are a little complication.

We did not know about what the complication really is until when on 4th July she was admitted in the hospital.

The weather was worst with heavy rain and thunder all day long. Dr. Said to contact blood donors as soon as possible.

"hi sir, what is the matter?" I asked.

"The baby is wrapped around the umbilical cord we think only one can be saved let us see what can we do."

"If it is like that then save her I pleaded."

Blood group of her eldest brother matched with her, he gave his blood to save his sister's life.

When surgery was over the news about her being alive was relaxing, but the cry of the baby was overwhelming.

"Mom and baby are safe now", said nurse.

Hearing her, mother in law cried, "oh my poor daughter, again a girl".

The nurse laughed saying "no the baby is a boy. Go get some sweet for us Nani."

I thought this time mother will come to visit her but she did not and also stop me from going there. I wanted to but I just could not disobey her. I was so blind in her love that I could not see what she was actually doing with me and my wife.

Hospital being nearest to our home than her mother's my in-laws bring her foods and medicines and also discharged her at their own expenses and took her home.

We have a ritual of observing 21 days as days when we worship gods, neither go to a temple. Mother, as well as baby, is ostracized.

When 21 days are over, she, my mother sent my brother to bring her back home.

Everyone there was enraged and did not agree to let her leave. Seeing the depth of the situation he said, "if she is not coming today then never."

Mother-in-law requested and allowed him to take her with him.

When she arrived everyone was so excited to welcome the new one. My daughter, yes she is also happy though she cannot speak her smile says it all. You will never know how much pain she is hiding behind that smile. Her legs, the mark of rope around the ankle.

"Oh! my heart I am so sorry it happened to you but I am helpless. yes, your daddy stays out for days and your mother remains busy in chores.

She ties you with a rope just to ensure that you are safe while she is not around. You will understand one day why she did it to you? and my sisters never love you neither they changed your diapers."

She never eats food without her legs being tied, nor she cries when her mother is not around, acting like a mature girl.

By that time I started working at a construction site at ₹ 40 per day wage. Whatever I was earning, I give it to all to my mother at the end of the day,  

"this is all you earned the whole day you useless", hearing the same thing every day.

Then I changed my job, worked as a carpenter but that too doesn't go well. My children wear growing up fast so as my worries.

Looking at my daughter I only think about the day of her marriage. How I am going to arrange all the necessities with a low-income job.

One day, a friend of mine on his expenses open a canteen at the Air Force Station.

I sell tea, chapati, biscuit etc there for a few years. It was good at least I was getting a regular income now when my brother forcefully took over it from me after his marriage.

I am not afraid this time I set up a dhaba and after 2-3 years that too was gone to the hands of another brother.

This is started a never-ending fight between my wife and me on one side and family at other.

For the sake of everyone and to live in peace Uma and I are decided to leave and live in a rented house at some distance.

We left with one bed, two plate and two glasses and a few utensils and clothes and nothing else no other furniture etc.

everything I bought I left there and never asks them to return all that.

This time I shifted my business to the city but it doesn't go well. The shop was at a bus stand but unfortunately only a parking place for buses and vehicles.

Only the drivers and a few others are customers. Many days, I spent the whole day waiting for a customer and a few empty stomachs.

God seems to be unhappy with me. This business was gone too due to the renovation of the area and buildings.

One day a landowner from the other side of the road came to me and said, "you see that, the closed shop. Why don't you start a hotel there? This area will change soon and you will be definitely benefited."

"Ok I will but what about the rent?"

"Oh! you can pay me later, first, let your business settle. what say?"

I agreed, arranging all necessary items I was about to start when in 2003, a movement against Bihari's broke out. Many left Assam, the one who was only working there, but what about us where will we go?

While the riots were going on I never got a chance to return home. I got stuck there in the city. The whole state was on curfew. I had no idea how my wife is feeding my children, just hoping that everything was fine.

Almost fifteen days later I returned to find that they only ate rice with salt or water sometimes. That rice too was coming from a friend of mine who got to know that I wasn't there so he gave them rice to last for 10 days.

She said that they sometimes eat only the papaya from the tree back of the house to save the rice, it was so hurting.

My brothers, all for of them never showed up there to ask if my family is alright or not,.I cried.

From that day I decided not to care anymore about others. The moment I decided I felt relaxed and motivated to earn enough that my family never sleep empty stomach again.

I work harder, soon my business was back on track. Pankaj joined the primary school but he failed the exam, the very beginning.

Forcefully he joined private tuition with friends and was showing exponential growth in studies, very Sharp brain but Roshini my daughter was not blessed with a clever mind but was an average student.

Yeah, I hate my mother but I too want her love and want to show her how much I care but her never changing behavior stops me.

But I never stop my children to go to her place and meet her. Although this was a mistake. Being jealous of my nice growing business she used to give false information about me and Uma to them. She always tries to mislead them.

For a few years I and Uma are the villain for our children, they hated us because we left their grandmother's place as we never loved her.

Eventually, I don't know how they understood that their grandma was lying all these years and turned against her after that they never talked with her like they used to and started ignoring her.

Soon Roshini stopped going as she was doing every evening. My mother never take bath at morning she does it at night or evening no matter what the weather is and my daughter was called every day to help with filling up the bucket at the tube well with water. My little daughter, her hand pains but she never complained.

One day there was an interview at the tea garden and I went there to try my luck. They asked me to write rice in English but I failed. That day I realized the importance of education and the effect of emergency for which I left School.

One year after the riots were over the people are still living in fear the one who fled did not want to come back.

All state was disturbed, businesses, industries everything with no worker to pull a rickshaw, thella and all. Soon locals realized their importance and everything was back to normal when CM appealed to the people who left to come back.

Days where fine, Pankaj got admission into a residential school under the central government which means the education was free as well as lodging and food.

Feeling proud of his achievement everyone played their best to take the credit, on the other hand, I started building expectation one after another not only me but everyone now want him to become a doctor or at least an engineer. He is attracted to science, show natural affinity since childhood but never performed well in examinations.

With a broken expectation I now forcefully paying his educational expenses. Arguments are common nowadays.

Daughter, on the other hand, completed her graduation and I was planning her marriage when I came to know about her love affair.

"love", this word I hate the most. It is not like I never love anyone yes I did but she was not of my caste.

Father used every way possible to stop me both physically and mentally. This resulted in my marriage and so I started hating the word, love.

Fortunately, Roshni was clever enough to love a boy of the same caste, at first I opposed but lately I agreed and arranged their marriage but anyone except my wife and son hardly knows that it was a love marriage.

Yes, my mother, father, brothers, and their wives came to the marriage but more like a ghost than family.

I was lost in the thought when I suddenly felt a jerk caused by the break.

My brother said, "we are at the hospital come on to take her out."

I was completely lost, my face was wet in tears, I cried even badly.

While taking her out I was just thinking please god wake her up and when she will wake up I was thinking that she will finally realize what she was really missing in her life and what wrong she did and may change her lifestyle. May her frozen soul finally come alive, and she will do good and have good.

She was taken to the ICU and the doctor was trying his best to find out the cause when suddenly she woke up and was acting like she was fine and nothing had happened to her.

Doctors and nurses are shocked too because the patient suddenly woke up in says she knows nothing of what had happened is really interesting.

However, we took her back home and she was sitting with us in the ambulance not sleeping which means she is completely fine.

When we reached home she quickly got off the vehicle saying,

"bring the Ganga Jal. who called this ambulance? I was completely fine and who said to him."

Here he is pointed to me. She said, "who said to him to go with me to the hospital. Now I knew she is not going to change and the same drama started again.

Neighbors and friends laughed and left to their homes and everything was back to normal again and I was the Villain again.