Outsider: Envy

A little muggle girl who had been sitting by the window of the living room quietly approached Colin. 

"Will we go home now?" the little girl asked softly. "Are you here to take us home?"

"Yes, of course. That's why we are here. We will take you back to your home as soon as you finish this," with a smile Colin handed the little girl a muffin and she smiled back.

"Thank you," The girl said so gratefully that Colin's smile thinned and it turned into a grimace as soon the girl trotted away.

"You ok, Colin?" Chris asked, feeling worried.

"Yeah," Colin tried to shake it off. "It's just . . . It has been like this a lot. Little kids, young wizards and witches, old witches and wizards who were hiding . . . running for their lives, we have met a lot of them. It's just so . . . painful."

"Oh, my baby," Mrs. Creevy wrapped her son in a hug again.

"Let us help with that," Mr. Creevy said, taking some of the packets from Colin and Ginny. Mrs. Creevy and Mr. Norton took the rest.

"Hello, Mr. Norton," Luna smiled as she greeted Chris's dad. Colin and Ginny did the same.

"Hello, I will help distribute these," Mr. Norton said with a smile. "You all chat."

Ginny, Luna and Colin turned to Chris after Mr. Norton, Mr. Creevy, and Mrs. Creevy went to distribute the muffins. Chris studied her friends, they had clean clothes on, but they looked slightly rumpled and their faces showed similar tiredness and sadness. Like they have barely slept for last few days.

"So, how are you all doing?" Chris asked. "Your wounds are ok, Colin? Mrs. Creevy is still worried."

"Yeah, I am doing better and don't worry about Ma, she is just worried because –" Colin answered.

"Because she is worried you might do something stupid again and cut us out of your life," Dennis replied, looking very serious suddenly which surprised all four of them, especially Colin.

"Dennis, you are still –"

"Yeah, I'm still mad about it," Dennis tried to look angry but after a moment let out a defeated sigh. All of a sudden, he looked like he had aged several years. "I love you Colin and I'm so happy you are alive but I just wish . . . you would trust me with important stuff."

"I do trust you, Dennis . . . but you are my little brother, how can I put you in harm's way?" Colin asked grimly.

"Well, I don't like you putting yourself in danger either, big brother, just remember that next time, Ok?" Dennis held out his left hand and Colin smiled.

"Deal," Colin extended his hand as well and they did a complicated handshake which ended up with the brothers hugging each other.

"Now, I'm gonna pack my bags," Dennis said, stepping back.

"Dennis, you are not packed yet?" Colin looked at him disapprovingly and Dennis just grinned.

"Nope, see you in ten minutes," Dennis said scurrying away.

"Dennis, the Aurors will be here in ten minutes!" Colin yelled after him.

Dennis just ran away grinning and Ginny, Luna and Chris chuckled. It reminded Chris of the days when they were in school and Dennis would do this every time whenever it was time to leave Hogwarts.

Chris was about to ask about Hogwarts when Colin spoke again,

"As I was saying, I am healing just fine. In fact, I am almost as good as new. Luna has been helping me. She is helping a lot of people with her potions," Colin said proudly looking at Luna and maybe for the first time, Chris saw Luna blush so hard.

"I'm just doing what I can," Luna said. "There are a lot of scared and injured people who are affected directly and indirectly by Voldemort's army. Colin helps the order find them and get them home safely. And Ginny is helping the ministry get things in order."

"By which she means naming those wannabe Death Eaters, who were doing Voldemort's bidding when he was in power and the people who were being overall evil," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"You are helping the Ministry catch them?" Chris asked.

"Well not catch them, I'm just naming them as many as I could remember for Kingsley to put their names out as fugitives and wanted criminals. It's quite fun actually," Ginny said, giving a half smile, like she couldn't believe this was what she liked now. 

It was hard for Chris not to feel left out and lonely all of a sudden. There were Colin, Luna and Ginny almost working on every aspect to make the wizarding world safe again just after the war was over and here was Chris, trying to get through her day, trying to learn to live her life like a normal person without magic. And looking at Colin, Ginny, and Luna, she couldn't help but wonder how perfect they looked, like Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and now only she was the odd man out here. It was her fifth year of Hogwarts all over again, Ginny and Colin being Prefects and Chris just trying to get back to their dorms alone. As soon as she thought of it, Chris felt guilty for feeling jealous. 

"Chris?" Luna's voice broke Chris's train of thought.

"Huh?" Chris focused back at her friends and shake off the jealousy.

"I asked, what are you up to, tell me?"

"I . . ." Chris hesitated before speaking with a forced smile. "I was resting. A lot of sleep and relaxation."

as soon as she said it, she knew she sounded bitter and absolutely fake, and that made her angry at herself. How could she feel like that? How could she feel envious of her friends who were drowning themselves in the aftermath of the war and she just slept and ate and repeated the process? She was doing absolutely nothing to help them and now was sounding ungrateful to add more to the worry of her friends.

Colin, Luna, and Ginny stared at Chris with a look that clearly showed concern, they knew something was wrong with her.

"Chris, are you o–" Colin began but Ginny interrupted him, which Chris knew was intentional.

"Hey, I forgot to mention that Mum invited you, Mr. Norton, and Colin's family to dinner."

"Today?"

"Yes, I was thinking maybe we should go there now and the Aurors could drop off you all later. Some of the Aurors will be here soon to take the other families home, we can just tell them about this now."

Chris opened her mouth and closed it. She didn't want to go to this dinner, she knew it would feel weird. If just talking about the wizarding world made her so jealous, seeing it again wouldn't help much. So she started to say no.

"It's a kind of farewell or sort of send-off to the heroes of Hogwarts," Luna added.

Chris froze. She thought she was being selfish again, only thinking about herself when so many people had it so much worse. So she nodded.

***

When Chris arrived at the Burrow with Mr. Norton, the Creevys, Luna, and Ginny, the sun hung low on the west, bathing everything around it in pink and purple light. The Burrow looked just as it did when Chris saw it for the first time: a large stone pigpen with extra rooms added here and there, making it several stories high and crooked, held together by magic. 

"It's . . ." Mrs. Creevy whispered looking at the house in awe. "How is it standing? Isn't it unsafe? It looks like it would topple over any minute."

"Magic, Ma," Colin explained with a smile.

"Right, right," Mrs. Creevy nodded, turning red in embarrassment. 

As they walked towards the house, Chris noticed multiple long tables set in the front yard. Mrs. Weasley, Fleur, and Sirius fussed over the table filled with food. While Mr. Weasley and all the Weasley brothers chatted with Professor McGonagall, Kingsley, Hermione, Aurelia, and Cedric, Luna's father was explaining something to Neville and his grandmother, who looked fascinated by whatever Mr. Lovegood was saying. 

"Chris!" It was Cedric, who noticed her first. 

Chris halted in her steps. Everyone turned to look at her and she flinched.

"You alright, Eagle?" Mr. Norton instantly asked.

Chris turned to her father and saw his concerned expression. Immediately, she took a deep breath and smiled.

"I'm ok, Dad," Chris reassured and looked back at the people approaching her.

[To be continued]