what the hell?

...........TIME LAPSE..........

It has been almost a year, since Katie was bitten and the vaccine that I gave her work. Danny and I are now looking for more survivors. We left Alaska 5 months ago, now we are heading to Hawaii to find survivors and more supplies as well. We have about

4,942 miles before get to Hawaii. I am ready to help those out their that need Danny and my help. I am going to make Katie stay on the boat. I dont want her to get hurt again. I cant go through that again. My heart sank down to my stomach when I heard her screams calling to her brother.

Katie has been trying to get me to have sex with her again. I cant I always tell her. It's not like I dont want to, but it is because I dont want to get attached to her and she might die. I dont want to feel that feeling again. I thought to myself. Danny/ hey man you coming out to get something? I yelled to Markus. Marcus/ yeah I will in a bit. I am trying to avoid your sister Danny, I dont want to hurt her. I dont want to get close to her. I said unlocking my door. To find Katie standing by Danny looking up at me, with tears flowing out of her eyes.

Danny/ that is just cold man, you could have asked me if Katie was by me. Instead of saying that. I yelled pushing him back some. Indicating that he is a major ass hole for saying that.

Marcus/ Katie I am sorry. But you have to understand, I dont want to get close to you. I dont want nothing to do with you, besides your friendship. I said looking into her deep hazel eyes.

Katie/ well now I know dont I? I'm sorry for bothering you. All I wanted was someone to love me and want me. Is that so hard to ask? I said yelling at him. He has no emotion on his face, that is pissing me even more.

Marcus/ yes Katie that is to much to ask nowadays, dont you see it? Dont see that the world is a fucking shit storm. We dont have time to give each other the affection that we want. I can't give you the affection that you want Katie. I just cant, and I wont. I cant bring you into my madness. I wont bring you down. And I will not! Somethings you dont know about me are better left unsaid. I told her and Danny pushing past them.

Fuck not this again, please go away. I dont have time for the memories to come back! I dont have time to think about that little girl. Why why now? Why do I have to think about that little girls hands reaching out to me? Why do I have to think about that. That is all I think about when I close my eyes. That is all I dream about when I am asleep. I just want this madness to end. I just want to die! I said stumbling into the kitchen.

Danny/ you dont look so good man? You okay. I asked him still mad at him.

Marcus/ yeah I am fine, dont worry about it. Leave me be okay. I said yelling at me. He gave me a hurtful look. That broke my heart. I cant tell my bestfriend what I have done. I cant I just cant.

I dont want them to be afraid of me. I need them still. After I find more people, that is when I will kill them off. I dont want to kill them but I have to. I have to kill them because they are making me soft. That is why I cant get close to them anymore then I already am now. I said to myself.

Danny/ are you sure you are okay Marcus, you look a little pale to me. I said feeling his forehead.

Marcus/ I slapped his hand away,Danny please just leave me alone for a while. I said pushing past him and went into my room once again. I locked my door and fell back asleep. Trying to block all the emotions. Trying to get that cold bloodly night out of my mind.

I found a little girl, I killed her mother because she was Creeper, the little girl was hiding under a car trying to hid her self from what use to be her mother. I smashed in the Creepers skull. I ran towards the car that the little girl was hiding under. Come on out I said to her. What is your name I asked her.

Anna she replied back to me holding her little teddy bear in her small arms.

I looked up and down at the Anna, my stomach growling of hunger.

My only thought was how good she would taste. I tried to take my mind off of the thought. But everytime I looked at her. I grew more hungry. I placed Anna onto the ground. Close your eyes Anna. I told crying. Anna/ mister why are you crying? Did you get hurt she said holding my hand.

My heart broken when those words came running out of mouth.

No Anna, I am fine just a little. Now Anna close your eyes for me please. I said with tears flowing out of my eyes. I picked up my blade and slashed her throat open. I fell onto my ass holding my knees to my chest, crying at what I have just done. I just killed a little girl so I could eat. I thought to myself. Anna crawled towards me, reaching her little hands out to me for help. Her big blue eyes crying. Her face became very pale. I looked into her eyes, and saw myself. I saw a killer, I saw a man that would do anything to live another day. I saw my father in her eyes. The man that tried to kill me when I was a baby, because I did not stop crying. I saw my father in me through her eyes. Her little baby blue eyes. Anna reached and touch my hand. Asking for her mommy. Blood pouring out of her mouth. Help she barely got out the last words before she died.

I woke up in my bed in a code sweat. Those damn memories, those memories. Why did it have to be of Anna? Why I cried out into my room trying to muffle my voice. So Danny and Katie wont hear me. I walked into the bathroom and saw blood on my face. I must have scratch my face again. I thought to myself.

I have to put a very good plan together on how to kill Danny and Katie off. I will Danny first and then Katie. Danny is gonna be pretty hard for me to kill, since he has to arms. I looked at myself, and saw my nump where my arm use to be. It was cut off at the forearm. I need to put a blade into my nump I thought, but that would be impossible for me to do. Since I don't have the proper knowledge of how to do it? Took off my clothes and hoped into the shower. Taking a long and hot shower. Thinking about Anna, the little girl I killed. I cant get her out of my head. No matter how hard I try. Not matter how wine I drink. Nothing seems to work. I even prayed to God. My mother was very religious and so was I and Emily. But God has turned his back on me. That is what I am guessing any ways. Since I killed a little girl to just Survive in this hell hole. Well now that I think about it. It was better that she did die, no child should live in this shit. Growing up to kill to Survive and family and friends. No kid so live in this shit. I will kill off all the Children. Between the ages of 5 and 17. The 18-40 years old is what I need, I dont need any young blood on my hands. I thought washing my hair out. I hoped out of the shower and dried my hair. And walked back to my bed. The time is only 130 in the morning and we have about another 5 to 6 days before we reached Hawaii. I said to myself.

I need to kill Danny in Hawaii fast and painless as possible. He has helped me, so that is the best that I can do for him. But Katie, I will kill her nice and slow. I have nothing against Katie at all. But that mouth on her, really pisses me the fuck off. I make it painful as possible. I said with a evil grin forming on my face. I dont want to do this. I really dont. But it has to be done. I have to do it. So I wont go soft. I cant afford to go soft. I have to stay cold as possible. I thought to myself. Being heartless as possible is the only why I can Survive in this hell. I know I am gonna go to hell for this. That I do know, but if I can change the world before I die, then I dont mind going to hell for the things I have done.

I just have to get them done fast and easy. I said to myself.

I closed my eyes and thought about Emily, thought how old she would have been by now. Thought about what if the XY virus did not break out. How tall she would have been. What so wanted to be in the future. If she ever wanted kids. Thinking how much beauty my sister holds. Her very beautiful amber eyes. Oh how I wished I could have saved my sister that day. But then again I am glad she is dead. So she does not have to go through this shit. Thinking she does not have to kill to Survive. Knowing she is in a better place now. I prayed every night to just dream about my little sisters smile. How her smile would make my whole day better. How her laugh made me laugh. Her red hair would flow in front of her amber eyes. When she would jump on the trampoline. Doing flips and other things as well. I missed her so much. I loved my sister so very much. That should have been me and not her. I told myself that every night before I fell into a deep slumber that would always wake me up, because I was having a nightmare of Anna or Emily or of my mother. I wish I would have done more when she was alive. I should have taken her the movies. She always wanted to transformers. Bubble bee was her favorite one of all. She would paint her face yellow, and try to make the noises like bubble bee did. But always failed. But I would always tell her. You are getting so close when she was not even close at all.

I just wanted to see her smile. I just wanted her to he happy. My love for my sister was special, because I was her older brother. The only thing she saw close to a father. The only one who took care of her, when mother was gone for months on end. Mother would always bring home bubble bee toys and clothes for Emily. She would jump up and down and hug mother. Mother would bring me gold coins that I love to keep for safe keeping. I still have them, they are my backpack.

No matter how mad I got with Emily, I would never show it. I just pat her on the head and tell her what she has done wrong. Then she would cry and jump into my arms asking for my forgiveness. I always told her yes. I for give you little sister. But don't do it again. I would always laugh at how childish she was. But it was so cute to me. Knowing she is happy and healthy was all I ever wanted for Emily.

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