Twentieth Lie

Hiromi and Akane talked to them later on. They explained that Kaori is suffering from depression ever since her parents died. She's been talking to her psychiatrist and they thought that she was already okay or at least getting better. They did not expect that Kaori will try to kill herself because there was no sign. She was happy the day before and greeted them like everything is okay. And…. it just happened.

They were almost a minute late. Hiromi was already awake at 3 AM in the morning and saw Shiro, Kaori's pet, he let the kitten drink a milk and decided to return Shiro back to Kaori's room when he found Kaori in her bathroom, sitting on her own blood, her wrist was slit and her eyes was closed and that is when Hiromi realized that he needs to move faster. He dialed the emergency number and did his best to perform the first aid.

"You know… since learning that Kaori have a depression, her psychiatrist suggested to us to learn first aid in case something happened and I agreed. I was thankful that I agreed as I was able to save her at least. I-It's just that I never want to accept that there will be a time where I need to perform what I learned to Kaori because I want to convince myself that she will be okay" Hiromi confessed and Akane held his hand to give him strength.

"We are sorry.. Kao-chan.. I was not able to help Kao-chan. I know that there is something wrong since the d-death of her parents.. she never played violin again after that. She rarely eats and always feels sleepy at school." Tsubaki sniffed, "I-I have asked her what's wrong but she refused to open up… I convinced myself that maybe if she's ready enough then she will be the one who will come to us and tell us what's happening.. but it's wrong. I should've probed more or pay more attention but I didn't. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry."

The moments where Kaori looks so lost or broken came to her mind. Maybe if she just push her more to open up then maybe she will have a chance to help her.

"I am in the same class with Kao-chan and I would like to say sorry as well.. please forgive me. I don't deserve to be called her friend."  Watari spoke up, his head down as he try to stop himself from crying. "I thought that she was still mourning.. I-I.. but I can't make any excuse… I'm sorry." What's more to say? He can list all the things that run to his mind or any alibi he gave to himself just to reassure himself that Kaori is okay and this was just a phase but that will not change anything. It will not.

After their talk Hiromi and Akane told them to go to school for their afternoon class. They do not want to but they insist saying that Kaori will not want them to miss a class because of her. They want to argue but decided against it. Kaori might blame herself if she woke up and saw them in their school uniform and learn that they did not attended the school.

"Kaori-chan loves all of you and treasure her friends. I am sure that she never blame any of you so we can't blame you. Kaori-chan is a stubborn child and might think that she does not want to burden anyone that is why she can't tell you all what's going on." Akane smiled at them, a tear fell down from her eyes. Kaori have a nice friends. "I'm sure that if Kaori-chan confessed and you learned her situation, you will all help her, right?"

Is that really true? Will they really extend their hands to Kaori in case they became aware of the truth?

Kosei was reluctant to answer. Because he was afraid that even if he's aware of the truth, he will have a hard time to accept it. After all, he purposely acted ignorant while watching Kaori slipping away from them.

They reluctantly went to school but no one can focus.

**

Kaori slowly opened her eyes. She can feel how her arms hurt as she stare at the yellow ceiling.

'Where am I?'

Then she remembered what happened that night. How did she finally feel the courage to end her worthless life. But it seems that she failed. The voices came back the moment she remembered what happened. However, Kaori did not look troubled at all. She forced herself to sit down and examine her room.

└ Useless ┐

└ You can't even kill yourself? ┐

└ By living right now, you're giving a lot of trouble to your family and friends ┐

└ It is without a doubt that your friends already knows what happened and they must be feel so disgusted and disapointed with you ┐

└ Why don't you go ahead and try to kill yourself again? And once and for all, try to be successful ┐

└ Die ┐

└ Die ┐

└ Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die!!!!!!!!!! ┐

Hiromi and Akane is not here. Maybe they are talking with the doctor or they are somewhere else. Her eyes are void of any emotion but she smiled and started to move.