⁕ Faces of Reforged Shards (part 3)

[Cogitas, Ergo Non Es] Chapter 4: Do not feel!

"When you let loose your inner savagery, what do you feel? Of course, a sensation of liberation and thrill as you share your rage with the rest of the world. Why shouldn't pain be pleasure to you? Why should your own truth in the realm of sensation be questioned by others who do not understand you? The thrill of the hunt is in all of our blood. The will to dominate is your true nature, so why let others dominate what you should feel? Reject the sensations irrelevant to your own pursuit and embrace your true self and what brings you pleasure. Do not feel for others. Only feel what is right for you. Let your own nature guide you. Devour the lies fed to you and feel only what should be felt! "

The fourth man of the group, a behavioural scientist, could simply not be reached by Dane despite his numerous attempts to contact him. Doctor Tango, as he was known, was responsible for experiments on the human psyche to determine more effective ways to induce fear or aggression. He was also tasked with the study of human subjects to better understand ways to inflict greater physical and psychological pain. 

However, Dane will not be defeated as he sought to find the doctor himself if he could not be contacted. As Dane watched the levels move on the elevator display, he soon realized that Tango's laboratory was the only one situated on the higher levels of the government tower, instead of being underground like the rest. Once the cabin stopped on the 88th floor, the door swung open to present a serene-looking facility with even a secretary at the entrance. 

With his suitcase at the ready, Dane intruded into the facility despite the vocal protest from the secretary. However, what he found was not what he had expected. Instead of a horror show like the laboratories below, Dane was faced with a beautiful window overlooking the city and a few seats facing the view. Upon closer inspection, Dane realized that each of the seats was occupied by a crook from the city with an absent-minded look on their faces. 

[Tango] - "Why don't you take a seat, Doctor Dane? "

Surprised by the voice, Dane turned around to see Tango holding a gun in his direction. 

[Tango] - "Go on, now. Let's not waste our time if you are so eager to see me. "

Said Tango in a passive voice. 

Left without a choice, Dane complied with his demand by taking the only empty seat remaining. Once seated, Dane could hear Tango approach before coming to a stop a few meters behind him. 

[Tango] - "It's a world that doesn't forgive the weak, Doctor Dane. I find it highly suspicious that you would want to meet me. What could a man of your expertise want from me? That's when I realized... You wanted to eliminate me. "

Tango's words stabbed through Dane's heart like a dagger. Dane was confused and shocked as to how Tango managed to uncover his true intentions. 

[Tango] - "What's in that suitcase, Doctor Dane? A weapon? A poison? A bomb? It doesn't take a genius to know your intentions. After all, I'm an obstacle in your way. KD-554's philosophy favours those who take the initiative by coating their blades in blood first. "

Dane gritted his teeth nervously before opening his mouth to respond. 

[Dane] - "How... Did you find out my intentions? "

[Tango] - "I study behaviour for crying out loud. Who do you think controls the eyes and ears of the city? Who do you think engineered the red neon madness that plunges the city into chaos at night? I've seen all manner of people throughout my years, and you are nothing new. You think of justice, of wrath against those who commit wrong. "

[Dane] - "Yet, you are not shooting me. If you truly understand my motives, then why are you keeping me alive? "

Said Dane, not daring to turn around. 

[Tango] - "Because I appreciate you. I appreciate that you had the courage to come to me and challenge me in my own domain. You and I are alike; we both hunt the filth of society in our spare time because of how it disgusts us. "

Slowly, Tango moved behind one of the crooks and tugged at his head before pushing him away. The crook didn't react as his motionless body tumbled down the seat like a ragdoll. 

[Tango] - "This here is Alexandro, he robbed a local store and murdered the owner's family in cold blood. Shot the wife three times and the kids seven times. "

Said Tango as he stepped over the crook's face as he lay on the floor. 

Now that Tango has moved into Dane's sight, he could finally see the doctor, an old man in a brown jacket, resembling more a bounty hunter than an actual scientist. 

[Tango] - "So when I just so happened to hear the news of this incident, I went to find this punk, burst down his doors and shot his family dead. Turns out, karma is a bitch. I also happened to find he had the exact number of family members as the store owner. "

Just as the tale sounded like a heroic tale about justice, it took the darkest turn ever. Shocked, Dane turned to Tango, thinking he might have misheard what he had said. 

[Dane] - "You shot his family and kept him alive? Why? "

[Tango] - "It's my own justice. I didn't feel bad killing his kids, because I know these children are the bastards of this piece of shit. I felt good shooting his wife, because I know she's a worthless whore for marrying such a man. And I especially enjoyed lobotomizing him once I dragged his screaming body back to my laboratory. "

Said Tango while his excitement shone through his gritted teeth. 

At first, Dane thought Tango was maybe just a bit more sane than the others, but how wrong he was.

[Tango] - "Now, back to our initial question, Doctor Dane. Why did I keep you alive instead of shooting you? It's simple, my friend, it's because I believe in what you do. I understand the thrill of hunting down the four other bastards in the basement! The exhilaration of enacting justice upon the filthy is... Divine. "

Said Tango before taking a deep breath to calm himself down. 

With a snap of his fingers, two of the seats facing away from them turned around, revealing two blindfolded children bound to their seats with ropes. Shocked, Dane recoiled slightly into his seat while Tango stepped toward the children with his gun still held in his hand. 

[Tango] - "Doctor Dane, I'm offering you a chance for a partnership. Here before you are the two children of crime lord Pedro of the south city. I offer you a chance to enact justice upon the filth of society by executing their bastards. "

[Dane] - "Ugh! What do you mean? "

[Tango] - "It means exactly what it means. You will prove to me that you are truly on board with me. To show me that you are not soft and that you feel no sympathy for the sinful. That you are not an agent of justice out of hypocrisy, but out of true conviction. I want to see if you have truly embraced your true self. "

Said Tango as he leaned over Dane and pressed his gun against his own forehead.

Slowly, Tango gave control of the weapon entirely to Dane while he himself stayed pressed against the barrel without a spark of fear in his eyes. 

[Tango] - "There are exactly two rounds in there, one for each kid. Now, I understand you have not yet made contact with the last scientist, so shoot me, and your plan goes up in flames, as my people will expose everything about you. Think carefully, Doctor Dane, you only need to spill the blood of two guilty bastards to ensure you can gut the others dry without interference. "

Dane's hands trembled despite him holding the gun against someone else's head. 

[Dane] - "These are children! I can't do this! "

Said Dane in a shaky voice. 

[Tango] - "Do it, Dane, let your inner self run free, feel the liberation brought upon by your actions. Take the shot! "

Said Tango with excitement as he forced Dane's hand to aim at the children. 

However, despite Tango's efforts to help Dane point at the kids, Dane fought back by messing up his aim intentionally. 

[Tango] - "I've seen what type of horror you have witnessed down there, Dane! Are you really willing to save two guilty souls so the sick sons of bitches you've met could run free? Is it really worth it, Dane? Isn't justice what truly drives your crusade... Or is there something else? "

Whispered Tango at Dane's ear. 

Dane trembled, his hands wet as sweat leaked down his forehead like a waterfall. Maybe he can convince himself of his action, maybe these children will become evil like their father. However, just as the sight of his gun finally neared one of his targets, Dane had a last moment thought: Is it really worth being a monster so you could satisfy your wrath against other monsters? 

In one dry stroke, Dane pulled himself free from Tango's grip and emptied the two shots onto the floor. A long silence ensued as Dane breathed heavily while Tango stood up. As Tango picked up the empty gun from Dane's hand, his eyes followed the gun up until Dane saw the disappointed and bitter expression on Tango's face. Before Dane could react, Tango reloaded the weapon at lightning speed before shooting the two kids dead. As the smoke rose from his gun, Tango sighed in sheer satisfaction.

[Dane] - "Oh God! Jesus! "

Exclaimed Dane with his hands around his head. 

[Tango] - "You truly disappoint me, Doctor Dane. For a man who managed to stomach the horror of three sick bastards, you are truly a weak piece of shit. "

Said Tango before spitting on Dane's shoes. 

[Tango] - "Go back to the basement to enact your pretty little plan. Rats like you should not come here and spend time with a true human. "

Said Tango with spite in his voice. 

As Tango began to walk away, Dane tightened his fists, now having overcome the shock of the situation. Suddenly, Dane stormed up and grabbed Tango by the shoulder. 

[Dane] - "If you truly value justice, then you are the damn hypocrite here! "

Intrigued by Dane's statement, Tango turned around and raised his chin as he stared down at Dane. 

[Tango] - "Do explain, mister Dane. "

[Dane] - "If you unveiled my plans, then you'll be the one allowing the sons of bitches down below to run free. I may not agree with your definition and view of justice, but I sure know you despise them just as much as I do. We do not need to be friends, but we can agree that their demise will satiate not only our wrath but also our nature. "

Said Dane through gritted teeth. 

Impressed by Dane's reasoning, Tango thought for a moment before showing him a mocking smile. 

[Tango] - "Yes, indeed. However, I'm not foolish enough to allow you to get the upper hand in this conflict. After all, you do want me dead as well. "

[Dane] - "So you are a coward. You'd rather betray your principles to protect yourself? Are you afraid of me, a man you consider a rat? "

Said Dane aggressively as he stared directly into Tango's eyes. 

Not wanting to drop his ego, Tango immediately pushed Dane away before tugging at his coat to adjust it. 

[Tango] - "I ain't afraid of a rat like you, Dane. If you ain't got the resolve to shoot two toddlers, what makes you think you can succeed? "

Said Tango in a cruel, mocking voice. 

[Dane] - "You are the one pointing a gun at my head. What makes you so hesitant to let me do what I wish? "

[Tango] - "Hahaha! Very well, I'll pretend this conversation never happened. I'll be waiting to see what you can do, my poor little friend. "

Said Tango mockingly before storming out of the room. 

Though Dane had failed in gaining Tango's trust, he knew it wasn't the end of his plan. At least for now, Tango will not interfere with him. However, in the end, Dane will also have to figure out a plan to take Tango down without him knowing. As Dane relaxed against the elevator wall as it descended back toward the underground, he felt relief knowing his hands were stained, but luckily not with the fresh blood of innocents. 

[Cogitas, Ergo Non Es] Chapter 5: Do not think! 

"When all other senses are finally under your control, you can finally shed the final layer of your mask and earn your freedom among this new world. Logic serves to drive your goals and your ambitions. The only philosophy one should subscribe to is the one held by your nature. Just like how we naturally learn to walk, talk, and react, savagery is a part of our core nature. Do not let your being and actions be questioned by others, less by your own psyche. Your thoughts should serve to confirm your beliefs, and not to react to the weakness of others. Let go of the mind and let your instincts take over your body. Cogitas, ergo non es; To think is to not be! "

The final scientist out of the group Dane was on his way to meet was Doctor Cogitatio, the main chemist in the service of KD-554. Responsible for creating the worst of the poisons used to induce pain and suffering, Cogitatio was also tasked with the creation of narcotics the likes of which the world has never seen. Her most famous product was a compound by the name of "Rabiosus", which can be absorbed through the skin to induce extreme aggression and violence. 

Arriving at the most Eastern wing of the underground facility, Dane entered a facility surrounded by the stench of chemicals. However, instead of meeting rows of horrid creations like in his previous encounters, Dane instead came face-to-face with a woman whose face was flayed and stretched so it could be attached to her armour. Though Dane could not see her face underneath the mask of skin, the sight of her eyes and mouth through the opening was already deeply disturbing to him. 

[Cogitatio] - "Ah, welcome, Doctor Dane. "

Said Cogitatio as she reached one of her hands toward Dane. 

Dane hesitated when engaging with the doctor, as not only was he deeply disturbed by her looks, but he also noticed an aura of madness in her pitch black eyes. However, he must press forward as his plan was so close to its final stage. However, it proved to be a massive mistake. As soon as Dane reached forward to shake her hand, she grabbed his arm and jabbed a syringe into his skin. 

Dane immediately pulled his arm away before he pulled the syringe out of his flesh. Unfortunately, it was too late for Dane, as the narcotic was already streaming through his veins and affecting his vision. With uncoordinated steps, Dane only managed to walk a few steps before his legs fell prey to the effects of the drug. 

[Cogitatio] - "How do you like my product, Doctor Dane? It's delightful, isn't it? It sends you straight to heaven for many, many hours without any side effects. "

In Dane's confused state, Cogitatio's words echoed inside his mind before reality became a dream he could live in. From the lightweight feel of his body as he rose to heaven to the overwhelming cold he felt once he was above the clouds, all was too real for Dane to realize he was in a psychedelic dream. Soon, as his mind came to accept his hallucination as reality, the true madness began as he was transported to a world of chaotic nonsense. 

As time went on, the euphoria of the narcotic began to subside, with Dane's consciousness slowly fading out of his dream. However, the extremely orgasmic sensations of the drug's effect left Dane trying to claw his way back into that dream even as it faded away. Finally, Dane woke up in a pool of sweat and naked on the floor of Cogitatio's laboratory. Suddenly, Dane felt an overwhelming feeling of dread as if his body believed that he was dying, before an excruciating pain gripped his body like the fiery claws of the devil. 

[Dane] - "AAAAAARGH! Aaaaah! "

Yelled Dane as he smashed his face against the floor in agony. 

Suddenly, Dane recoiled as he felt a hand touch his back. Turning around, Dane could only cry in dread as he noticed Cogitatio also naked on the floor with him, though her face was luckily covered by a mask. 

[Cogitatio] - "We had a pretty nice time, Doctor Dane. You were vigorous as you defiled my body. I didn't expect the drug to be so effective on you. "

[Dane] - "Get away! What have you done to me? "

Screamed Dane in terror as he struggled to stand up. 

However, the pain afflicting his body only became more and more intense as every single muscle in Dane's body contracted and relaxed repetitively outside of his control. With every contraction, Dane felt himself choke as his diaphragm no longer obeyed him, while excruciating pain tortured every single strand of his being. With every relaxation, Dane felt a moment of lucidity, which allowed him only enough time to dread the pain to come. All together, the experience felt as if Dane was being drowned and rescued continuously without an end in sight. This torturous routine continued on for several minutes before Dane was finally able to somewhat control his muscles in a pool of his own sweat. 

[Dane] - "Oh God! Put me out of my misery! "

Cried Dane as he slowly crawled away. 

Standing above him, Cogitatio didn't make any attempt to chase after Dane as he slowly slipped away. She simply didn't need to chase after him as she knew he would willingly come back to her eventually. With a delighted smile, Cogitatio approached one of her work stations, where she grabbed another syringe before injecting herself with a dose of her drug. 

Later, back inside his laboratory, Dane scratched at his face and head until blood began to leak out of the scratch marks. The withdrawal symptoms of the narcotic were simply paralyzing, as Dane was unable to focus on anything but his desire for another taste of heaven. Suddenly, the doorbell to his laboratory rang, alerting him to Cogitatio's presence. 

As if madness had taken over his senses, Dane rushed to the door and dropped to his knees like a beggar when he saw the syringe in Cogitatio's hand. However, instead of handing the drug to Dane, Cogitatio shot the substance into her own arm instead. As if hit by desperation, Dane immediately crawled to her feet and gripped her legs with abandon. 

[Dane] - "I need it! I fucking need it! I'm going to die if I don't get it, please! "

Begged Dane, his eyes bloodshot with a look of madness. 

Playfully, Cogitatio bent down and gripped Dane by the chin before revealing her mouth under the mask to kiss him. Despite the horror Dane witnessed under her disguise, he was too far gone to care for anything more than the drug. He can't think, nor can he choose to think, as if he had been programmed this way since birth. 

[Cogitatio] - "Now, now, my good puppy, let us enjoy a good night full of fun. "

Whispered Cogitatio as she gently injected Dane with a dose of the narcotic in the neck.

Suddenly, as the drug streamed through Dane's systems, he was hit with the same euphoria as he had experienced earlier that day. On the bed, while Dane was reaching his arms out to touch the immaterial, Cogitatio took advantage of him by climbing on top of him. Though Cogitatio was also under the influence of the drug, she had taken it so many times that she became numb to its illusional effects. With a semi-lucid mind and fueled by a drug-induced frenzy, Cogitatio pleasured herself by using Dane's body to her heart's content. 

And this routine will ensue as Dane wakes up in a world of agony, followed by a body and mind too battered to move or think. Then, when he finally recovers his energy, his psyche will be broken by his overwhelming desire for the effects of the narcotic. As for Cogitatio, she will ensure the continuation of the destructive cycle while using Dane as a toy for her own pleasure. 

As a week passed by, Dane abruptly woke up in the middle of the night with a gasp. It felt as if he had suddenly woken up from the dead, given how long his consciousness had been buried. However, even now, he couldn't think rationally or logically process his situation.

[Cogitatio] - "Hmm... you seem to be building resistance to the drug already. Maybe the intense sexual stimulation caused some unforeseen side effects. "

Said Cogitatio as she observed him while lying on her side of the bed. 

[Dane] - "Why are you... I don't understand... Why am I... "

Mumbled Dane in broken words as he struggled to form a logical thought.

Dane gradually got off the bed and awkwardly headed toward the bathroom for his needs. He was like a zombie, as he walked with minimal coordination while drooling at the mouth with an absent look in his eyes. Once inside the bathroom, Dane instinctively shielded his eyes from the blinding mirror light before leaning against the sink. 

Slowly, Dane raised his head and saw himself in the mirror. The sight was abhorrent as he was covered in scars and bruises, while his irises were dilated like two massive black olives in his eye sockets. Yet, Dane couldn't understand his predicament with the fog that lingered in his mind. Suddenly, the intense pain that usually came after the drug's effect kicked in, causing Dane to bash his head into the mirror in reaction. 

Now looking at himself in the fragmented pieces of the mirror, Dane absent-mindedly grabbed a scalpel by the side of the skin and sank the edge of the blade into his cheek. As he began to cut away at his face, Dane felt a sensation of relief against the intense pain. However, as blood began to pool in the skin below him, Dane's hand suddenly stopped midway across his face. By now, he had almost flayed half of his face. 

[Dane] - "Oh God... Oh my God... "

Said Dane with trembling hands. 

Slowly, his irises contracted while his lucidity pushed through the fog clouding his mind. In his madness-driven attempt to remove his own face, the intense pain from the nerves on his face had unintentionally triggered a response from his brain. For a moment, Dane was able to think clearly, and it was all it took for his consciousness to claw itself back into the frame. Piece by piece, Dane fought the fog in his head to gather himself mentally. 

Suddenly, Dane inhaled deeply as if he was emerging from the water. Even though he was only half-conscious at best, Dane was able to gather a few thoughts in his haze. The fact that he was able to regain some control when he tried to flay his face must mean something. There must be a reason why Cogitatio was able to stay conscious while under the effects of the drug. Extreme pain must have a certain effect on countering the drug.

Despite this being an unproven theory, Dane needed to test it out. Who knows how much time will pass before he can accidentally wake up like this again? Maybe his mind will potentially be lost forever at this rate. His best bet would be to try to fight the effects of the drug instead, since resisting the addiction is like fighting a losing battle. However, looking at his current state, even Dane doubted if he could truly win this battle. 

To be continued...