Please, Don't Be Afraid

Time flew, and night soon settled. The living room grew darker, signaling to its occupant that the time had come for children to go to bed, much to Tristan's despair. He didn't want to sleep; he wanted to keep playing! Or at least, that was what the look on his face screamed. But despite his obvious desire to stay, the boy was too well-behaved to throw a tantrum and complain aloud, unlike a certain someone sitting across him. So, instead, he smiled and complied with his mother's gentle reminder when the old clock in the living room rang ten o'clock. It was time to sleep, whether he liked it or not.

"Have a good night's sleep!" 

That said, the kid hugged his brothers one after another. When he wrapped his thin arms around Jake, he was surprised by the tender hug he got in return. The man whispered just loud enough for him to hear:

"If you have nightmares tonight, come see me. The door of my room will always be open for you, so don't force yourself, and don't bottle up everything. I'm here for you, you know that, right?"

No sound came out of Tristan's mouth. He seemed to freeze for an instant before nodding and letting go of his brother. After putting a small distance between them, he said candidly as his eyes landed on his neck, "I hope that you'll also have a good night's sleep and that no bugs will bite you tonight!"

Still sitting beside Jake, Stephan heard the comment as clear as day, and he could not help but feel as if it was directed at him. He peered at the boy, who was smiling sweetly. He looked so innocent, almost like a little angel, that Stephan forgot why he was even being suspicious of him, to begin with. The jab was most likely a product of his imagination, for he did feel a tiny bit guilty about the trail of hickeys he often left on Jake's neck. The man wasn't the kind to scream on roofs about what was going on in his private life, as he was rather discreet and loved peace and quiet. But thanks to his mother, who wanted proof of his relationship with Stephan, and Stephan, who followed suit and left love marks all over his neck, everyone could tell his nights were filled with not-so-catholic moments. 

Not minding Stephan, whose mind had wandered who knew where, Tristan left for the second floor, soon followed by Misha, who was dead tired. Playing board games was entertaining but also exhausting, even more so when he got all over the place whenever his turn with Gabriel came. How could they be on the same length and yet miss the mark every single time?!

It was frustrating. So darn frustrating.

After closing the door of his room, Misha fell upon Tristan, who was grinning like a fool, humming as he undressed to get into his pajamas. It made the teenager pinch his lips. He knew why the boy was in such a good mood and honestly felt a little jealous. Unlike him, he got the correct answer every time his turn came with Gabriel and Jake during the mind-reading game. It had seemed almost unreal at the time, and Tristan gathered first-time chips like they were commodities. At the end of the game, he won over everyone by a large margin.

On the other hand, Stephan was left with a score of zero. Masha was competitive and usually loved to win, but with Stephan as a partner, she stepped on her pride and became a pig teammate. Her fun had been to choose the least likely word possible when you combined the two cards, resulting in some far-fetched ideas. Who would think of an elephant when they saw the words "tutu" and "store"? To this, Masha's answer had been:

"Of course, whoever knows the idiom: "an elephant in the room" and its variants, duh!"

It made Stephan cry.

But Misha also had a hunch the man threw the game when he played with Jake. It felt like he purposely said the wrong words, probably to annoy Angela upstairs. If Misha was right, the underlying meaning behind Stephan's antics was to tell her that he and her son weren't close enough yet to know what was going through each other's minds. As such, she might want to ensure they spent more time together, just in case. With this in mind, she wouldn't separate them anytime soon, much less send Jake to entertain their guests under Stephan's nose. That guy seemed infatuated with her son, but he was still sharp and far from meek. It was better not to create unnecessary drama, or she might lose her leverage on Stephan, an unpredictable card in her hands.

Well, that was what Misha thought. He might be wrong, or he might be right. Even if he asked Stephan, he would never know. Misha was getting good at scheming and understating others' schemes, but he wasn't born a schemer, unlike Stephan, Gabriel, and Jake. He could only vaguely guess what was going through their minds.

"Mish', how about I sleep on the futon, and you sleep on the bed tonight? It doesn't look like you got any sleep last night…"

"No need!" Misha shook his head, snapping back to the present. "A good bed is a must for a growing boy like you."

"I'm pretty sure skipping a night won't put an end to my growing spurt," Tristan giggled, already making his way to the futon with a pillow in his arms. "And aren't you also in the middle of growing up? You've been telling the world you'll become taller than Gabriel and tower over him. If you want to attain this goal, you need the bed more than me."

"…"

Misha looked at the boy's dazzling smile and suddenly didn't know what to do, much less what to say. And to think he had been wanting to sit and take the time to talk with the child since they arrived yesterday… Only, he kept on putting off the conversation for later, making excuses over excuses. Even now, unease stirred up his heart as he stared at Tristan's face. Maybe Gabriel had been right. It'd have been better for him to never know what the boy had become in his past lives. It was bothering him too much, enough that he couldn't bear Tristan's smile and had to avert his eyes. When Misha did, he did not see the sadness flashing across the boy's face. It also didn't last long, quickly hidden behind another smile.

"It's alright. As you said, skipping a good night's sleep in a soft bed a few times won't kill me." Misha scratched his cheek before waving a hand, shooing the kid away as he added another excuse. "I'm more sturdy than you, too, so I'll be fine. I'm used to muscle pain, anyway. Just listen to me and go to bed!"

"Alright, if that's what you want…"

Tristan didn't pursue the matter, aware that it'd be useless. Misha was as stubborn as he was headstrong, and if he said he'd sleep in the futon tonight, he'd sleep in the futon tonight. So he went back to the bed and slipped under the blankets. He once again wished Misha a good night's sleep before closing his eyes. It didn't take long before soft snores echoed into the room.

It was a relaxing noise, and Misha listened to it as he stared at the ceiling. His hands gripped the blanket, and he started to count. How long would it take before that calming sound disappeared, replaced by whimpers and rustling noise? Last night, it took about ten minutes before nightmares plagued the boy. His rapid breathing and painful grunts were what kept Misha awake all night, and he feared it'd be the same tonight. 

Despite the nightmares, Tristan hadn't woken up yesterday, and although the scenes flashing behind his closed eyelids seemed agonizing, Misha hadn't woken up the kid. He had heard somewhere that waking up someone who was having a nightmare was bad for their heart… or maybe it was for people who were sleepwalking? He wasn't sure, but he didn't want to take any risk. In the end, Misha could only press down his uneasiness and sit beside the boy, gently running his fingers through his hair to appease him. It seemed to calm him down, but the moment Misha stopped, nightmares came back to plague the kid's dreams, and he grew restless again. 

Thus, Misha spent the night by his bedside.

Minutes passed, and just as Misha thought that maybe Tristan would have a peaceful night this time, the boy grew agitated, throwing his head left and right. Grunts and whines soon followed.

Misha sighed and stood up, wrapping himself in his blanket as he walked to the boy's bedside. He mentally said goodbye to his sleep and started to stroke his hair, gently and slowly.

'We're leaving tomorrow,' Misha thought. 'I wonder if he'll have nightmares tomorrow night, too? And what about the following nights? I won't be there to appease him… I'll need to talk to Gabriel. I hope he'll be able to take care of Tristan afterward. That guy sleeps like a log, but he should be able to force himself awake and pull all-nighters for a few days.'

Although he felt awkward around the boy, Misha didn't wish any harm to him. No, he felt distressed when he saw Tristan like this, sweating and sobbing in his sleep. It tugged at his heartstrings.

While Misha thought of such things, the boy suddenly opened his eyes wide open, almost as if he had seen a ghost, and their gazes met. Misha froze, unsure what to do now. He was so sure Tristan wouldn't wake up again tonight that now that he was awake, he didn't know what to do. He awkwardly coughed, averting his eyes like he often did lately. Great. How should he explain why he was sitting on the boy's bed and so close to him at that…?

"Are you also afraid of me…?"

Tristan's hazy voice resounded. He seemed to be still half-asleep, his mind half-way stuck in the nightmare he was plagued with. The drowsiness threw him out of the loop, and he barely registered the room he was currently in. He forgot that he wasn't in his dreams and that the Misha in front of him was real and not a figment of his imagination. And so, words he would usually keep hidden flew out of his mouth. 

"Do you also think I'll become like that man after growing up?" 

Tears glistened in his chocolate eyes, soon trailing down his cheeks. His body trembled, and his voice grew shaky. What followed was a pleading, one the boy wished for so strongly Misha felt it deep into his soul.

"But I don't want to become that man. I don't want to hurt my brothers, and I don't want to be an unfeeling monster. He is not me, and he will never be. I'll make sure of it, so please, don't be afraid of me…"

His heart skipped a beat as Misha barely registered the words said in a whisper. Reality slowly crashed in as Tristan frowned, seemingly starting to realize that he was awake. Panic soon filled the boy, distorting his facial expression into something akin to fear as he stared at Misha sitting beside him. What had he just said?

"Tristan," Misha gulped, visibly in shock. Still, he needed to ask. "Do you remember your past lives…?"

Silence was his answer.

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Edited by Clozed! ♥

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