Poisonous Bliss

1875

"You must swear that you will never tell another soul what we did here tonight. Swear it on your life."

Those words made Adea shudder from the moment she heard them that night at the Crossing, and she feared she may never get over it. She found herself in the most complex situation an eight-year-old child might encounter. Her bad dreams lasted for weeks after they began but it only took a matter of days for them to escalate into the fits of pure fear that they became. She was desperate to stop them once and for all, but what good was Human intervention in regards to something they could not see, hear, or feel? Yet somehow, in spite of everything, her older sister, Lyda, found a way.

Adea was not sure what was more horrific; the night terrors, or the actions the two of them took to end them. Ever since they could speak, Lyda and Adea were taught the value of all life and to respect nature. Adea had never killed a living thing, not even the tiniest spider that might crawl over her at night. It was not who she was. The only exception to this instinct of hers was the slaughtering of her family's chickens for food but she was still squeamish about being present when they were killed. Nevertheless, killing was not in her nature, a fact she constantly iterated every time Eran tried to teach her how to use a bow.

Lyda was different. For as long as Adea knew her, Lyda respected all life just the same as her, yet somewhere deep beneath her skin was a faint capacity to kill. While Adea would express either fear or admiration for an insect in the garden, Lyda would see it as a parasite and would not hesitate to crush it beneath her foot. Though this always disgusted Adea, the killing of such minuscule and insignificant creatures was the only bad thing her sister had done as far as she was concerned.

All that changed, however, that night at the ancient ritual site. Lyda had chopped the head off a chicken every now and then while under the supervision of their father but that was to serve a purpose. A balance, one might say. What Lyda did at the Crossing, Adea knew, was cold-blooded. Murder, even if only an expendable animal, and yet she called it an act with purpose.

Was it truly with purpose? It was difficult for Adea to admit it, but yes, she thought. She did not know what Lyda truly did to invoke such a profane ritual, how she discovered it, or how she was able to grant Adea control over her dreams. She did not want to ask either, but whatever the case, it worked. Adea did not fall asleep that night after they returned home, for the sun had begun to rise less than two hours later. Thankfully, as Lyda assured her, their parents had no idea they had even left and therefore had no matter to press.

With little to no sleep, Adea was left exhausted the entire day following. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she welcomed that night like an old friend, ready to put her sister's theory to the test. She was extremely nervous at first, but by the time she drifted off to sleep, she noticed an immediate difference.

Before, she could never tell when she was dreaming. Everything always seemed so real that she could have sworn she was awake. She guessed that was what made her nightmares so terrifying. This time, however, she was fully aware of her dreaming state from the start. She had never felt this before. She used to be powerless in her dreams in the past. A mere onlooker as her subconscious mind did whatever it pleased.

Now she was in total control. With the snap of her fingers, the candle on her bedside table could burn with light greater than in reality. If she wanted to open the door, she could do so without touching the knob. Best of all, no one could stop her. She could do whatever she wanted. For the first time in her life, she felt truly free. The first night, the dream seemed to last only for a moment as she woke in the middle of the night in a pool of sweat. It was different this time. Instead of fear, she awoke in a state of ecstasy, unable to suppress her laughter. She did not even care that she was in the same dark bedroom in which she had woken up screaming only two nights before. She could not control herself as she jumped out of bed and rushed over to shake Lyda awake, ecstatic to tell her that what she did for her worked. Though she was disoriented at first, Lyda smiled and gave her a nonchalant congratulations before telling her to go back and dream some more.

It was perfect, and it continued to get better as the days turned into months and the months into years. Adea would push the limits of her dreams a little more every night, knowing that there was nothing she could not do. Her parents were amazed that she had made such a quick turnaround from her nightmares. When they asked what changed, Adea simply answered that Lyda helped her to overcome the monsters under her bed, never going into more depth than that as she held onto the promise she made at the Crossing. It was a promise she kept for the next four years, never telling another soul about the ritual.

Adea was twelve now, and Lyda fourteen. Much had changed in them over the years that passed, especially in Adea. She was happier and healthier now than she had ever been, and everyone knew that it was all thanks to the riddance of her nightmares. Shortly before her tenth birthday, the Mistresses in the Valley deemed it unnecessary for Adea to be assigned to a teacher of her own. Since she was being raised for the same occupation as her mother, they decided it would be best for Alyra to act as her daughter's mentor. While her mother was excited by this prospect, Adea was filled with disappointment. As her birthday neared, she had been looking forward to receiving a mistress of her own. Lyda and Iris had developed such a close bond in the four years they had been together and Adea wanted to know what it was like. Of course, Jay was quick to tell her that she should be thankful as she hated her own mistress as much as she hated her profession. Adea only laughed and reiterated the joke that she thought she was a boy, earning her a punch in the arm from an offended Jay.

Of course, Adea was not the only one going through change. A lot of people, especially their friends, saw a slow but steady shift in Lyda's demeanor. No one, however, saw this as closely as Adea. Lyda was just as excited as she was when her nightmares ended, but as the months went by, she seemed to grow weary of Adea's constant rambling over her dreams. It got to the point that Adea stopped mentioning them to her completely.

About three years after the two of them snuck away to the Crossing, things quickly went from pleasant to tragic when Mara was found dead in her accommodation in the cellar. Nobody could tell for sure how long she had been there before she was discovered. It seemed to anyone like a typical day. Lyda was away with Iris and Matthias had gone down to check the fish traps, which left Adea alone helping her mother in the garden with Mara presumably minding her own business as always. She watched as her mother came out of the cottage carrying a small bowl of food and one of milk which she placed near the end of the garden. Adea smiled, thinking of the scruffy stray cat that recently started showing up around the cottage every now and then. At first, Alyra had to chase it away whenever it eyed up the chickens, but eventually, the feline's presence grew on them as it became quite tame. Lyda and Adea named it Gray, after the various shades of the stripes that ran down its fur to its fox-like tail. Adea would often get distracted in the garden waiting to see if he would show up.

When midday came around and neither of them had seen Mara at all, Alyra thought it best to check in on her by bringing a plate of lunch to the cellar. She knocked on the door a few times, receiving no answer. That was not abnormal for her, so Alyra opened the door and headed down.

As expected, the cellar was lit only by the candles in Mara's corner. The curtain over her bed was partially closed, leaving her legs visible as she lied. Alyra approached her with the plate, continuing to call her name. It was now that she knew something was wrong. She may rarely have come out of the cellar, but Mara never slept this late into the day. Alyra set the plate down on the shelf beside the bed as she carefully pulled the curtain back.

Her blood froze over at the sight of Mara lying lifeless in her bed. Her skin had gone completely pale, more so than usual. Her eyes were closed and her mouth hung open, showing faded signs of foaming. Alyra did not think anything else of it. She was so stricken with shock that she turned to hurry out of the cellar, forgetting to grab the plate she had brought with her. She locked the cellar door behind her, ensuring that her daughter would not be able to go down and see what she discovered. With Matthias away from the cottage, she would have no choice but to wait for him to return, anxious about sharing this information with him. She may not have been too fond of Mara, but she was Matthias' sister after all. That made her family, and Alyra would never wish any suffering on her family, let alone death.

She tried her best to keep her emotions to herself, but the ghostly pale expression of dread on her face was instantly noticed by Adea. She kept asking her mother what was wrong until she finally snapped at her in frustration. Adea lowered her head in shame. The sound of footsteps in the leaves made them both look up to see Matthias coming out of the tree lines, carrying a large sack on his back which Adea knew contained fish from the river. Alyra immediately sent Adea to her room and told her not to come out. When she sulked into the cottage, Matthias asked in confusion what was going on. That was when Alyra sorrowfully ushered him down to the cellar.

Alyra had left Mara's bed curtain pulled away when ran out of the cellar, so her lifeless corpse was the first thing Matthias noticed when they stepped down into the cellar. His breath was ripped out of his body as he rushed to his sister's side, Alyra following behind him. He placed his hand on her forehead. It was already ice cold, telling him that she had been dead since the early hours of the morning, or possibly the night before.

Alyra apologized with pity. She pointed out the signs of foaming at the mouth she noticed earlier. Matthias glanced at Mara's bedside table. A small bowl was sitting on the edge of the table with a stirring stick resting inside it. Next to the bowl were several vials, all of which were emptied of whatever contents they previously contained. Matthias had no idea as their labels were clearly torn off. His eyes moved down to what appeared to be a cup lying haphazardly on the floor at the foot of the bedside table. He reached down to pick up the cup, which was also empty. He held the mouth of the cup to his nose to smell the inside but recoiled instantly in disgust. He met his wife's gaze, which told him that they both knew the truth. The small mixing bowl and the empty vials made it obvious enough that this was not murder. Mara poisoned herself.

Matthias was beyond ashamed. He could not believe that he never saw this coming. Mara had been depressed for years but she never showed any abnormal signs that might hint at thoughts of suicide. Matthias placed a hand over her forehead and used his thumb to gently lift her right eyelid. As expected, her pupil was dilated and did not react to the candlelight around the bed, and as he feared, the color of her eye, though faded, was still giving off that same unsettling shade of yellow.

Matthias had many thoughts rolling through his head. It had been three years at this point since Mara had noticed the return of this sickness, but it usually faded away within the year. For it to still be affecting her, she must have been suffering all this time until she could not bear it any longer. He did not understand why she never said anything to him.

While Matthias somberly made his way to the toolshed outside to grab a shovel and begin digging a proper grave for his sister, Alyra took it upon herself to go to her Adea's room and tell her what happened, stating only that Mara had died in her sleep instead of informing her of the much darker truth.

Adea's jaw fell halfway open as a look of disbelief spread across her face. In her mind, she believed she should have expressed more emotion at this tragic news. However, she felt a sense of guilt as she could not even force a single tear out of her eyes. Family as she may have been, Adea had only known Mara the way the rest of her people did; weird, reclusive, and always dabbling with subjects she did not understand, subjects that Lyda was taking more and more interest in. She wanted to say something to express what she should have been feeling, but upon looking back into her mother's eyes, she saw the same thoughts in her own mind. It seemed like there may have been voices in her mother's head telling her that this was not a tragedy but a stroke of relief for their family, and Adea shuddered at the thought of that.

Lyda's reaction to her aunt's passing was even more unnerving. She was told by their mother as soon as Iris had brought her home. Lyda showed no emotional response, nor did she seem to make the slightest effort. She stood silently in the living room where they had all been sitting, not moving a muscle as if deep in thought. At last, she turned to Matthias, who was sitting in the chair in the corner of the room with a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry, Father," she said. Her voice was neither sympathetic nor sorrowful. It sounded almost cold and devoid of feeling. Nevertheless, Adea was pleasantly surprised when she walked over to pull him into a loving embrace. Matthias let out an exhale filled with warm relief as he hugged his daughter, but this feeling was suddenly interrupted when Lyda spoke into his ear, "Father, I want Aunt Mara's spot in the cellar."

The moment of warmth in the room was sucked away. Adea was not sure if she had heard her sister right. She glanced at her mother, whose face looked a bit shocked by Lyda's ill-timed request. Matthias sat up out of their embrace, his hands resting on his daughter's shoulders as he looked into her eyes with more confusion than anything else.

"What?" was all he could manage to say.

Lyda swallowed anxiously, trying not to show it at the same time. "I want a space of my own to sleep."

Matthias narrowed his eyes, sensing that there was something more to Lyda's request than that. "You share a large enough room with your sister."

"But I want my own private space," Lyda persisted. "The cellar is huge."

"Lyda," Matthias sighed. "The cellar is not an accommodation, nor is it intended to be. Your aunt lived down there because there was no other choice. It gets too cold down there at night. You would not be comfortable, and I'm not moving all of your things around just for you to change your mind after the first night."

"I won't!" Lyda was almost throwing a fit at this point. "I'm too old to share a room with my sister. Besides, Adea doesn't need the company anymore. She hasn't had a nightmare in years." Suddenly, Lyda turned her attention toward her sister, staring her dead in the eyes. "Right, Adi?"

Adea felt a chill go up her spine as gazed back into that familiar look in her sister's eyes. It was the same glare Lyda gave her at the Crossing when she made her promise to keep their activities a secret. Adea did not know what to think of it then, but now that she saw it again, it looked rather threatening.

Despite the goosebumps welling up on his arms, Adea quickly shook the chills off her spine as she turned to her mother. "I wouldn't mind having my own room," she concurred with Lyda's proposal.

Lyda looked back at her father. She tilted her head to the side like she always did when she wanted something, fixating her pale blue eyes on his in the most pleading manner she could. Silence followed as Matthias glanced at his wife almost as if hoping for some sort of retort to come from her as well. Instead, Alyra thought for a moment before a nod of her head.

"If she really wants it, then I don't see a problem with it."

Matthias was shocked inside. He was astonished that nobody seemed to be considering the fact that Lyda was adamant about sleeping in the same spot where a member of her own family was found dead only hours ago. Somehow, he felt that he could say no simply because of that, and with everyone siding with Lyda's request, what more was there to say?

He turned to give his daughter one last serious expression before saying, "I'll consider it." With that, he stood up and walked out of the cottage to finish attending to his sister's grave.

It did not seem to take long to consider. The next day, when Lyda was finished with Iris, her father spoke to her about moving her things out of her room and down to the cellar, warning her that if she made this transition then it would be permanent. Clearly, this was meant to be one last attempt at a deterrent, but Lyda graciously agreed, anxious to gather her things together.

As Alyra helped move the bedroom around to Adea's liking, they joked about how long it would be before Lyda had enough of living in the cellar. Of course, she did not spend nearly as much time isolated in her new quarters as Mara did, but to everyone's surprise, it grew on Lyda fast, and a year later, Adea had heard not one complaint about it. That was perfectly fine with her. Adea loved her new living situation. Not having to share a room with her sister made the bedroom twice as big, and this way it made her dreams even more blissful now that she did not have to worry about upsetting Lyda with her occasional sleep talking.

For a year since then, everything was as great as ever at night, and in her sleep, Adea found herself sitting atop the roof of the cottage, gazing up into the beautifully iridescent stars which she had conjured up by her own control. She waved her fingers across the sky and watched as an array of shooting stars followed them. This feeling was blissfully surreal. Adea could almost feel the cool breezes against her flesh. She let out a quiet sigh as she relaxed her mind and allowed the dreamscape above her to glisten freely.

The light of the stars pulsated randomly yet rhythmically. They flashed the sky with colors of blue and red and purple. And then yellow. Adea was sinking into a tranquil, hallucinatory state, watching thoughtlessly as two stars in the center of her view began to glow a dim, yellowish shade. With each passing second they grew brighter, and as they did, the shade of yellow became uglier until the stars glowed like the eyes of a mountain lion reflecting a torch's flame. They shone like eyes - eyes staring down from the darkening heavens and into Adea's soul.

Adea snapped out of her dream-like trance when she realized what she was staring at. She clenched her eyes for a brief second before sitting up in her bed, exiting her dream as quick as a heartbeat. The spring breezes flowing in through the open window made her feel cold and fear-stricken after what she saw in her dream. She did not understand. Whatever she saw, it was outside of her lucid control. That had not happened once in the past four years.

Adea shook her head, trying to think of an explanation to settle her nerves. Perhaps it was because she allowed herself to relax too much and her subconscious began to dwell on the nightmares of the past. That must have been it. She just wasn't thinking straight. It'll never happen again, Adea thought, I'll make sure of it.

One question still lingered in her head: should she tell Lyda about this dream? What would she think of her; the nightmares are forcing their way back into her dreams, or is she simply losing control? As Adea rested her head back on her pillow, she thought it best to keep it to herself. She tried to remind herself that everything was fine as she prepared to drift off to sleep once more, struggling to pay no mind to the familiar sound of something scratching against the side of the cottage.