It ALL Came Rushing Back

"Allen." I mutter, not wanting to meet his icy gaze.

"In the flesh." He said sitting on the other side of me.

"Ja-aa-queez." I force out my mouth.

I scoot over until I'm practically sitting on his lap.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I feel something go in my ear. Then I hear the music. Don't tell me by Ruel.

I start to sing. Not the soft, quiet singing I do. Loud. Strong. Me. When the song is over I realize I'm crying.

"Woah! I know your happy..." Allen said, shrugging.

"Why the hell did you have to come back?! You raped me, embarrass me, and beat on me. Why? You found out life's a bitch? You need it the stuck up quiet girl? I fucking hate you!" I snapped.

I feel someone put their arms around my waist.

"Your mom said we could skip school to chill at your place." Jaqueez tells me.

"Ice cream. Get her strawberry-", Allen says.

"No. Strawberry will always be disgusting to me. You will forced disabled mole rat." I spit.

I grab my stuff and run out of there. I go outside till the track. I throw my stuff on the ground and put my headphones on. I walk the track and sing.

"Save your breath my brother

it's not going in

I'm not your disciple

I choose how I sin

I got a distant memory

from a previous lives

don't say I'm not ready

Back off with those knives

you you don't know me like you used to

you can leave but I refuse to

you can tell me that I'm crazy

but I won't stop

And this wont make me."

I'll fall to the ground as I feel arms wrapped around me.

"Allen. No-" I start to yell.

"Vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and 3 cherrys." Jaqueez said.

"How?" I ask as I relax.

"7th grade, Armontae gave you strawberry ice cream. You tasted it made a face and threw it at him."

"I want to go home." I whisper.

He picks me up like a baby. He cares me to his car. When he buckles me and, Jaqueez kisses me on my forehead.

"Relax, CowGirl."

I guess I was shaking. I don't know and frankly don't care. I lean my head on the cold window and start to tell my story.

"I was in sixth grade. Going to 7th grade so this is during the summer. Aniya and I were going to the mall, when she got lost. Allen offered to help and we became friends. A few months later he came to my house and pointed a gun at me. He raped me. "You like that" he kept telling me. I ran away when he started to beat me. By then I agreed with him that I would do everything he says."

"I'm going to kill him." He says.

He buys my ice cream and takes me home. Alaska, KC, and Jamaica are standing by the door. 

I hop out the car and run to Alaska in Jamaica. KC always have a different way to make me feel better so she never hugs me.

"Icecream and pickles." KC tells me.

"Traitor. That is disgusting." I say smiling.

She smiles knowing I'm back to my old self. I open the door and run to my room. As I approached the door, hands cover my eyes. I stop moving and reach my hands behind me. My arm reach the person's waist so I throw him over me.

"Really! Jaqueez!" I yell stomping into my room.

"Sorry. Oh, and the gang went to buy you a surprise." He tells me.

We sit on my bed. I lay in his lap while he strocks my hair.

"Orange. You?" I ask randomly.

"Blue. Capricorn, you?"

"Aries. Moaning, you?"

"Going harder and harder."

We go back and forth like this for the next 10 minutes. I look up at him just as he looks up at me. He leans down and kisses me. I kiss him back. He rolls me over so now he's on top of me. He bites my lower lip causing me to open my mouth. He takes advantage and slides his tongue in my mouth. So this is what it tastes and feels.

He pulls away and just stares me in the eye.

"Your heavy." I protest.

"Your smart, beautiful and mine." He declared.