Child

It's... so... warm... wait why does my head hurt it feels like it's splitting in half. Kneeling down against a screen door that feels cold, oh it's winter aaand im crying hard but why. A car starts to pull off seeing the car drive away it seems to make me cry even more until I hear a voice "hey do you want to decorate the tree" I suddenly stop crying still sniffling I reply "yeah" I walk over and grab an ornament and place it on a tree. Why did this make me feel so much better when I was just crying and that person... no... it was a woman who was it? My vision slowly fades, oh I'm back here this place it feels like I'm here for so long but when I was back there I almost forgot about it. What was that anyways the more I try to remember the more questions I have. I slowly fade back down into the darkness, I've become To accustomed to this feeling. BEEP, what was that, BEEP there it is again BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP I smack the alarm not wanting to get up but forcing myself too " I feel way too heavy" as I lay there the whole world starts to fade back in I slowly hear the buzz of the fridge, then the sound of the tv that's been playing all night long "shit I forgot the tv on" as I sit up placing both feet on the hard wood floor I move my long black hair out of the way "hey George should I cut my hair today?" As if I was expecting a response from a fish that fucking thing is the only thing keeping me sane a fucking fish "nah not today, by the way I'll be working late tonight I should be home at about 8 o'clock." I force myself up and drag myself to the shower, placing both hands on the counter I look in the mirror and say " today will be different I'll meet someone new and I won't have to talk to myself anymore." Like that will happen I shower and get ready for the day I put my hair into a pony tail and put my hat on it's bright red with a black bill "ahh my good old ugly hat." I pour myself a cup of water and stare at the clock till it's time to go "well shit I should probably be heading out what do you think George? Alright see you later then" I grab my keys and walk out the door, damn it's fucking cold.