Newly Weds

A few days before the wedding ceremony, a tradition called "chi langa mulilo" was to be held for Banda as the groom. In this tradition, women mostly and some men were to deliver all kinds of food prepared by the bride's family to the groom and his relatives. This symbolized that the groom was welcomed to the family and was allowed to visit their home any time he wanted. It also meant he could eat from their home as part of the family and not as an outsider.

So the wedding day finally arrived. The morning was beautiful and the village was lively. The women had been cooking since the night before and they only had a few more dishes to prepare before they could head off to the village Hall where one of the village elders would conduct the wedding.

Cecilia was nervous but excited because all that she went through in the last few weeks was about to pay off. Her mother spoke with her one last time and then they left for the hall. She was dressed in a traditional dress made from Chitenge material with another Chitenge covering her head so as to conceal her face.

In the hall, the bride and groom knelt down before the elder who blessed them and then sent them on their way. As they walked out heading to the bride's parents' hut for the wedding feast, the women of the village walked ahead of them and some behind them singing different celebration songs while the men played the musical instruments. This went on throughout the feast until the bride and groom were escorted away to the groom's house which would be their new home together.

"It is finally over," Banda said to Cecilia breathing a sigh of relief. "Welcome to your home, my wife." He then leaned in to kiss his wife.

Cecilia had no desire to stay in the village and Banda had promised her that they would leave the village after they got married. But it had already been two months and he hadn't made any progress on his plans, until one day he came home with great excitement.

"It is time for us to leave this village. I got the job in the mines so we can leave in two days," he said picking up his wife and spinning her around.

Cecilia was overflowing with joy. She could not wait to tell her mother and say farewell to the people she knew. However, she could not do it. A piece of advice regarding the village is to never tell anyone that you are about to leave, otherwise you will never leave. People would mysteriously fall ill until they changed their plans then secretly left at a later date, or until they die. She knew they had to leave quietly without alerting anyone and then send word about it later.

Two days later, they packed the belongings they could carry without arousing suspicion and snuck out of the village in the evening. They hitched a ride on an ox cart which dropped them off a few kilometers from the main road. They walked to the main road and Banda paid a man on a bicycle to carry Cecilia to the city while he followed them on another bicycle.

When they finally arrived in the city of Ndola, the sight was breathtaking for Cecilia because she had never been outside the village. She was amazed by the beautiful tall buildings and the better housing units. They then took a bus to the low cost housing areas where mostly the men who worked in the mines lived.

Life was good, well certainly better than that in the village. Cecilia quickly adjusted to City Life and eight months later, she gave birth to their first child - a son - and Banda named the child after himself. A year later Cecilia had a daughter, they named her Chitalu. Two years later, they had another son and they named him Nasson. After another year and a half, they had another daughter whom they named Purity.

At this time, Cecilia and Banda were having marriage problems and had separated for a while. She had repeatedly caught him cheating on her with other women from the city. He was even expecting babies from two of the women. Cecilia left him and shortly afterwards, she met a man with whom she lived for a short while. When Banda found out about it, he went there, dragged her back to their house and beat her up. He had no idea that she was pregnant with that man's baby. Fortunately, the baby survived and months later, she gave birth to a daughter naming her Mwaka.

Banda's abuse, however, continued. So did his cheating. The only difference was that he was not hiding it anymore especially since Cecilia had a child with another man. Whenever she caught him with other women, he would beat her up for invading his privacy. During that time, there was no help for a woman experiencing domestic abuse so once again she left Banda instead.

After she realized that she was pregnant with her sixth child several days later, she decided to return to Banda because she had no way of supporting herself let alone another child. When she arrived home, Banda Jr told her that their father had left them the same day that she left and he had not been seen since.

Shortly afterwards,  Banda returned and continued to torture Cecilia. He knew she had nowhere to go since she returned to him on her own. A few months after she gave birth to hers and Banda's fifth child whom she named Mumba, she found out from her close friend that Banda now had four children with other women too. Cecilia was hurt by this so she left Banda again. She later met another man who took care of her in his home.

Three months went by, then she received an unexpected visit from Banda. He threatened to abandon their children if she did not return home with him. For the sake of her children, she went back with him. When they returned home, he beat her so bad that she passed out and woke up in hospital.

"Why do you keep going back to him?" her perplexed friend asked her while visiting her in the hospital.

"What else am I supposed to do?" She replied staring off into space.

Suddenly, the doctor came in and informed her that she was pregnant. There was dead silence for a few minutes.

"He will kill me this time," she said beginning to cry.

"Why?" her friend asked. "He does not want you to have any more children for him?"

"This is not his child," Cecilia exhaled. She then explained the details to her.

"Okay then you should hide it. I will help you," her friend assured her.

She successfully hid the pregnancy from Banda all the way up to the time she was ready to give birth. She could not hide it anymore from that point because most of the neighbors now knew about it and word of it reached Banda. At the hospital, she gave birth to a son and named him Mwila.

When she arrived home from the hospital a couple of days later, she found Banda waiting for her on the doorstep of their house completely drunk. Her friend, who had accompanied her to and from the hospital, ran off. Then all hell broke loose for Cecilia.