Chapter Sixteen: HEARTACHE Part 1

Lesley's POV

I wanted to vanish right now.

We're now sitting in a long grand table-- Gusion's father is in the end part. Guinevere girl is on his left side. Gusion's on the right and I'm beside him.

Gusion's holding my trembling hand under the table. I wasn't introduced yet since his father seems uninterested to acknowledge my presence. He immediately went inside earlier and invited the two to eat with him. He didn't even glanced my way. It was Gusion who held my hand when he noticed that I wanted to weep and run away. "Don't leave me, babe."

I felt something's in my throat that I can't speak. I guess if I'll open my mouth, I will end up bursting into tears. So I just nodded.

The four of us were quiet. The foods in front of us were delectable but I couldn't swallow even the smallest piece.

Guinevere cleared her throat to break the tension. She raised her eyes to Gusion's father. "Expect my parents here next week, Mr. Paxley."

"Call me father, Guinevere." The old man smiled. "While Gusion's here, why they can't come here today?"

Gusion's hand stiffened. I squeeze it to calm him.

"They didn't know I went here. Next week is really the day we agreed on." Full of composure, she shrugged. "But I badly wanted to see the man they chose for me so here I am." She glanced at Gusion. One corner of her lips lifted for a dry smile. She looked elegant even with that simple gesture. Full of poise woman.

I'm getting smaller in every passing minute. I wasn't surprised that Gusion's father was fond of Guinevere. She's the woman that every father wants to be their child. While I, without the Vance family's help, was nothing in all aspects. Nothing's surprising if Gusion prefer to marry her. Aside from he would make his father proud, they were also perfect for each other.

"I hate to interrupt this conversation," Gusion said, gritting his teeth. "But I want you both to meet this important girl beside me." My chest hammered with so much anticipation. "She's Lesley Vance. My--"

"Best friend!" I hastily cutted his words. Not looking at him. "I'm Gusion's best friend." I pulled my hands from his firm grip. But he only held it tighter.

"What the heck did you just say?" He murmured. Just for my ears only.

I didn't answered nor raised my eyes to anyone. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong here. "Excuse me." I gradually pushed my plate away from me, and was about to stand up when Gusion held my arm.

"Eat some more. You'll stay here."

I sighed deeply. It was a command. So I did.. unwillingly.

****

I don't know how long I've been crying.

The dinner earlier was the longest dinner I've ever experienced all my life. Gusion's father gave me room but I guess, it was for maids. No other things herein except for necessaries.

I took a deep sigh once more to stop myself from crying but tears kept on flowing.

I am nothing compared to that woman. Gusion might chose me but what might be the reason? To use me and show to the Elders here that they can't manipulate him? What might be the result? Probably, his father will hate him more.

That's the reason why I much prefer to introduced as his best friend.

Choosing me won't do him good.

I pressed my temple, massaging it harshly. But why am I still here? I asked myself. Am I now a masochist to let myself receive all this pain?

Jeez. I don't know. I bloody don't know. All I know, I just wanted to stay more..

*********