The Ark Of Z's Guilt

"Regrettably, we found Astria in one of the cages, and she was too far gone even to regain consciousness. The same way Ysabeau saw those catatonic children from the Albion Mission. We didn't know Mages could come out of that state properly without any cure."

"Thus, we wanted to keep Astria to find a cure to reverse the poison from Old Man Pond. However, with Z's mind all over the place and morals at play, I decided to end the poor girl's misery by ending her life. It was the only choice, seeing the circumstances."

"It wasn't easy since Z was still begging me to let her live, but Gillian and I had agreed that it was the best solution before Old Man Pond woke up. Astria was the only one out of the thousand children to have her limbs intact, but her face was melted away from the acid."

"Until now, I haven't seen anything that could tilt Z that bad as that afternoon. And I can't blame him for doing so. Who wouldn't be after seeing that massacre? After that horrible thing, Z refused to go near any children for the rest of the years and eventually retreated to a church."

"So by right, he lost contact with the Congregation, but Gillian wrote to him once. We took so long to convince Z to teach Raiyen and Mavislin again. He was so afraid that something bad might happen to the two of you under his training."

"We took two weeks to convince Z to teach you kids, and only then did he agree. Even a century wasn't enough to shake off the guilt of that many deaths, and I can't imagine what you might've felt... Child Of Valokia," finished Baldwin, looking at Mavislin's unexpressible face.

"Had I been stronger, I could've saved those kids, but I couldn't bring myself to continue the research... There was no way I could live with myself after what had happened and even contemplated suicide had it not been Baldwin or Gillian," stated Z, looking away.

"My actions of decimating the entire empire of Valokia do not amount to Z's guilt in those children's lives. It's not the number of deaths that matters. It's how much the victims meant to the person at the site. I cannot begin to comprehend Z's pain to see such horror."

"The worse part of the guilt is that Z didn't even get to hurt the children directly. I pity him since he blames himself for something he didn't do. I'm not going to give you advice on dealing with this feeling of guilt, as it has been so many years after that incident. But..."

"It's not your fault!" shouted Bryan, looking down at the table.

"I don't understand why you feel so guilty when it wasn't your fault... You should be pissed off! Angry beyond anything instead of being sad about it! And then, you make sure these mistakes don't happen again!" roared the Slayer, looking at the Galaxian Mage.

Everyone looked at Bryan with shock as they did not expect him to finish Mavislin's words like that.

"You can't even muster the strength to recall everything from that incident without biting your tongue back. You riled me up with that look of guilt when Baldwin told your tale. It shouldn't be him. It should tell us about how cruel the Congregation can be..."

"I can't stand people who wallow in their sins... Those who have not sinned shall cast the first stone, ever heard of that phrase? No one could have no sins! You don't have to be swallowed up by your sins because you weren't powerful enough to save those kids."

"Be angry, for God's sake! And never allow that to happen again," ordered Bryan, looking at Z with sheer anger.

"Oi, Slayer Verna... It would be best if you didn't talk back like that..." muttered Tomoe, nudging his partner.

"I... I couldn't have agreed more! Whoever your adopted mother is, tell her I'm proud of her for raising such a great son!" exclaimed Mavislin with a proud smile.

Tomoe, Z, and Baldwin were stunned by the Valkyrie's sudden proclamation.

"That night, when Valokia fell within my grasp, I caused the lives of so many to perish that night. But I never once regretted that decision, nor did I feel guilt upon looking back. On the contrary, I wasn't upset about what I had done, partly because I had the backing of all the Gladiators at that time."

"But mostly because it was the right thing to do at that point! The Great Noble War had decimated so many planets to extinction. And I was against the one who started it all. So I felt angry, hurt, and miserable as I performed the strongest spell in Valokian History."