Schrodinger's Smart Phone

My muscles heave for the umpteenth time trying to force open the door of the room. It was a vain battle that the door so far was winning handily.

Taking a step back I rubbed my temples tiredly. Not only was I trapped in an unknown room, my headache was back. It was as if a weight was slowly pressing down on my head. Not quite as bad as when I had just woken up, but nevertheless fairly unpleasant. Well if I was not able to force open the door, maybe there is something in the room that could help me out?

Pacing towards the wardrobe, I pull at the doors. No dice. The doors were stuck tight. What about the desk then? Passing over the bare, dusty top of the desk, I inspect the drawers. Locked. No help to be found from that quarter. Groaning under the increasing discomfort of my headache, I collapse on the old mattress. Why not? It was not as if I was leaving this place anytime soon.

No. I had to keep trying to escape as long as I still had possession of both my kidneys. This was not the time to be going back to sleep. Forcing my eyes open again, I desperately cast my gaze across the room for something, anything that can help. There was still nothing in the room that could help though. The same old mattress, the same wardrobe, the same desktop PC, the same desk, nothing had changed.

Wait, what?

The PC. It was not there before. I was sure of it. A positively ancient piece of hardware, it even came with a floppy disk drive and a CRT monitor. But all those details did not answer the main problem raised by the PC. The problem that just a few minutes ago it was not there in the room. Was I going crazy? Did too much alcohol rot my brain?

My head buzzing, I cautiously moved closer to the PC. Other than being old, it looked normal enough. Then again, my experiences today were far from what can be considered "normal". Holding my breath, I cautiously pressed the power button not knowing what to expect.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened. The PC remained completely inert, its dark blank screen silently judging me.

Slumping into the chair, I shut my eyes and collected my thoughts. Alright, either I was going cray cray or I was even more wasted than I initially thought. Assuming that it was just me being completely wasted, the PC suddenly appearing meant that my brain had not completely caught up with the situation I was in. All I needed to do was remember my training. The lessons learned from countless episodes of getting smashed. Slow down. Take stock. Get a handle on things.

Alright. The door was still locked. The partition still did not budge. The window was jammed shut. Hold up.

Peering out of the window and down on to the street, I realize that I am in a part of town I do not recognize. Not the bad. scabby part either. The neighborhood could be described as rather well off. Clean streets. No hobos or bums lounging outside. Men and women in office wear walking past. There was even a delicatessen opposite the building I was in. Looking at the buildings surrounding my location, I concluded that I was probably trapped on the second floor of a town house overlooking the main road. Mr GALLANT, if this place was his, certainly had money.

Well who cares about that. I try opening the window again. Completely stuck. The window had none of those security bars people install on the outside to prevent break ins. I suppose there was no need for those things in such a nice neighborhood. Still that gave me an idea. Moving to the PC, I disconnected the CRT monitor and carried it in my arms. Turning towards the window, I lifted the monitor above my head with a grunt. Between a broken window and keeping both my kidneys, I pick my kidneys any day of the week.

As my muscles strained, the buzzing, buzzing, buzzing in my head increased to the point where it was all I heard. The buzzing that was all I heard, from my head, from the room, from the smart phone vibrating on the desk, it was everything, everything, everything. My vision swam and my eyes watered. There was no escape, no escape, no escape from the accursed buzzing, from this blasted place.

Groaning, I set the monitor down on the desk and picked up the smart phone. I no longer wondered why I did not see it before. I just wanted the buzzing to stop.

"Hello?" I croaked.

A flat, vocoder generated voice rasped from the phone, "If you are done vandalizing the premises, then may we proceed to discuss your mission and deployment?"