Being In Control

By the time I awoke the next day, it was already close to noon. The Voice had really taken its time giving me a checkup. Changing out of the sweaty ORPO uniform, I switch back to the office wear that I had been originally wearing. Stretching my body experimentally, I find that there is no pain and nothing is out of order. So far so good. Except none of that meant anything if my problem was mental.

I hear The Voice's signature rasp in my ear, "The taxi is almost here. Get ready."

I leave the abandoned store and wait by the side of the street for the black cab to arrive. With my heart in my throat I ask, "So what is the diagnosis? Am I going crazy?"

The Voice hesitates for a moment before replying, "As far as I can tell no. Before I continue my diagnosis however, just be aware that all this is new territory for me as well. Do not take what comes next as fact but rather conjecture on my part."

Well, that's certainly not ominous.

The Voice continues its explanation, "I did not detect anything out of order with Mr Gallant's body. Nor was there anything wrong with you mentally. What I did find was a fragment of Mr Gallant's soul wedged within yours."

Oh shit. The time when I was at the Crossroads. I scooped up some bits of Gallant's soul while he was dying. Was that the cause of the black out?

"Mr Gallant was very close to death when I performed the summoning. If he had died part way through, your soul would have been torn apart as the summoning conduit collapsed. I suspect that you had instinctively seized a fragment of Mr Gallant's dying soul to prevent it from dissipating and tried using it to stabilize the conduit." The Voice rumbles.

Not instinct. But a lame attempt at saving my Host's life. I am starting to understand why people say what they say about good intentions.

The cab arrives and I climb in while remarking, "Well, if that's the problem, can't you just, you know, take the soul fragment out of me and return it to Gallant?"

The Voice replies somewhat wearily, "No. I had spent the better part of last night examining your soul and have concluded that Mr Gallant's soul fragment has become fused with your own soul, much like how the artificial core carries a soul fragment of yours. The fusion must have happened during the summoning when you were carrying the Mr Gallant's fragment. Which brings us to the real question, the cause of your black out."

That's right, I was still carrying the embers of Gallant's soul when I heard The Voice performing the summoning. I was summoned literally with a piece of Gallant's soul on me. Should I have just dumped those embers before being stuffed into Gallant's meat body?

I massage my glabella and lean back in the seat of the cab. If I am going to be hit with the bad news arising from the consequences of my actions the first thing in the late morning, I might as well get comfortable.

The Voice continues, "I suspect, and this is only a guess on my part, that Mr Gallant has been signalling you in the same way that you have been signalling the artificial core. You do not "hear" Mr Gallant's signals most of the time because your soul is dominant. However, when your control weakens, such as when you are suffering from sensory overload when using the core, Mr Gallant is able to slip in his instructions to you."

That's not good. Am I eventually going to be consumed by my host? Or are our personalities going to merge into a new one? I shudder with fear thinking about the possibilities. I like how I am right now. I don't want to change that.

"As I cannot communicate directly with native souls, I have no way of proving this conjecture one way or the other," The Voice muses, "but the evidence fits. Mr Gallant in his youth was schooled extensively in magic despite having no talent for it. You most probably drew the knowledge of casting from him."

Well at least Gallant was helping me out back there. But losing control like that, I would rather it not happen. I may be feeling guilty over the hand Gallant had drawn, but not guilty enough to sacrifice myself over it.

"Got any advise for me then? Absolutely anything that can help?" I ask.

The Voice considers for a moment and says, "Just what I had told you before. Stay in control when using the core. Do not let yourself get overwhelmed by the sensation. This is absolutely vital if you want to remain the dominant soul residing in that body. Also, do not give in to the temptation to draw on any of the knowledge or skills Mr Gallant may possess. Doing so may make you more susceptible to his influence in the future. It is better to just not take the risk."

I wet my lips before asking the question that had been bugging me for a while, "Will this have an effect on my return home?"

My heart sinks when I hear The Voice's answer, "Unfortunately yes. While bearing Mr Gallant's soul fragment will not stop you from leaving this world as long as Fate has been dealt with, there is a chance that the Administrator of your world will take exception to you smuggling in what is essentially an alien into your home dimension. You may very well be terminated outright."

I rub my temples and let out a groan. It just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? "Can't you do anything to remove the soul fragment?" I ask The Voice once more.

The Voice rasps, "I will keep researching this matter, but it will take time and I have no guarantee when I can provide a satisfactory answer. The best I can do at the present is to cut off access to the core if it looks like you are losing control. I will not be able to suppress Mr Gallant as there is already a direct link between him and you, so whether or not you remain on top will largely depend on yourself. If there was another synchronicity event things would be different, but there is little point in pinning your hopes on something so rare."

"What if there was though? Another synchronicity event I mean. Would you be able to remove the fragment then?" I ask, grasping at straws.

"Yes. However such events are, as I have said, exceedingly rare. If that is your plan, I suggest you learn to get comfortable in this world. You will be waiting for a while." The Voice says.

I tune out what The Voice says next and look out of the window, admiring the scenery as the cab makes its way back to the Academy. The outlook's not particularly good, but at least I found out about this problem early. I am in no immediate danger and I've avoided the possibility of being ganked by my world's Administrator on the journey back home. And even though The Voice insists that synchronicity events are rare, it was only a matter of time before another one occurred. That meant that even if The Voice could not work out a way to get rid of the soul fragment within me, as long as I kept my marbles, the problem would eventually resolve itself.

Patience. Patience was the key. And as The Voice said, staying in control.