CHAPTER 68

"I Don't hate you I never did, how I behave to you is the same way I behave to the rest of the world. It is the wall I put up. All my life I've felt nothing, not love, not pain, not sadness, not fear, just nothing. I need to say this to you. Even though I don't want to. Do you think its easy being who you are not? simply because you want to survive?"

"I was drowning in secondary school but no one saw it because they were all too focused on my laughter, on my strength, all too focused on who I showed them, who I allowed them to see. My friends fed me with their problems and ignored mine, thinking me to have none."

"They forgot that we all have our weaknesses, and sometimes it breaks us as it did me. They were all deceived by the wall I put up, no one bothered to make a hole to see through it let alone climb it. As for you I agree that I judged you from the start, I thought you a monster, but you have proven not to be who your cover shows and I am sorry." I said breathlessly. "I never did hate you.

"So you agree that I have finally broken your wall." He smirked.

I scoffed. He was hopeless. "No you didn't break my wall, you just climbed to see what was on the inside.  And I am going to push you down because you annoy me sooooo bad." I sighed, exasperated.

He laughed. He really, really laughed at my frustration and funny enough instead of getting angry at the fact that he was laughing at me_I smiled_a secret kind of smile. His laughter was music to my ears, Classic music!

"I am not a monster Mira." he said, his laughter finally dying down. His eyes were more beautiful this night and they held in them a lot of secrets. They were my moon and stars now, the light that showed me my path.

I became aware of the pain in them and the tears that threatened to fall. I could see and feel his fear but for what? that I did not know.

In his eyes was a reflection of my demons, a reflection of myself. 

Cold, broken, scared, Scarred. The only real difference between us was that his scar was on the outside and mine was on the inside.

"But maybe I am a little bit monstrous though." He sighed letting go of me.

He walked passed me and I instantly felt cold. Frozen.

I knew he walked away because he was trying to hide his vulnerability from me, the one that the fire helped Illuminate.

"Your face. You think your face makes you monstrous? It doesn't. There is not a bit of monstrosity in you and I am sorry that I once thought so." 

He stopped on his tracks, but he didn't turn back. "You know nothing."

"No You know nothing Scar! Who is to say that I am not a monster. I think we all have monsters In us and it definitely doesn't show at first glance." I said back. He resumed walking and I had to run after him.

"Wait." I called back. "Let's check on that guy. The kiss never happened." I said, which caused him to turn back. He was surprised at my very last statement, he couldn't even hide his surprise it was written all over his face, showing in his eyes.

I smiled in the way that I hoped told him that I didn't ever want to talk to him ever again.

He returned his own fake smile and I scurried behind him like a lost puppy. I walked the way I felt, lost.