Facing the Past (2)

Ryan's world turned dark because of her answer.

"Can you tell me about her?"

It took everything for him to ensure that his voice did not tremble.

She studied him for a minute as if making sure he would be able to take the information in. Then she moved her gaze back to the glass she was holding and taking a sip.

"She was locked down in an underground cell where she could not see the sunlight for five years."

Her first sentence made him tightened his grip on the beer bottle as the dull weight that had been pressing on his heart became heavier.

"Did they harm her in anyway?"

He was not even sure if he was prepared enough for her answer.

"Not really. She said they gave her everything she asked for. Dolls, books, coloring pencils, anything and the supervisor came to check on her every day."

Caroline Carlos' face appeared on Ryan's mind at the mention of the word 'supervisor'.

"Did she treat her well?"

"Yes. My friend said that she was very gentle but the only thing she wasn't happy with was the fact that she could only meet with her parents once a week. That made my friend very lonely and may be because of that, we became friends very easily."

She paused for a bit and sipped her milk while Ryan listened to her intently.

"One day, while I was playing around, I found a very small hole under the fence of the research facility that could fit me in. As I wandered around in the facility, I could hear some sobs and found out that they were coming from an air-vent. That's how I found the way to communicate with the girl and we became friends while talking through that. She had no friend and I also had no one around my age in my clan. So, whenever the adults were not around, I would always sneak into the compound to talk with her."

Although the word 'my clan' perked Ryan's interest, he did not disturb her as he wanted to hear more about the girl held in captivity.

"Her life seemed to be quite peaceful except for her loneliness but that was only until she turned twelve when they started giving her the new drug. Since they did not want her parents to find out about that, the times they let her meet with her parents became fewer and fewer. "

"Did she suffer a lot?"

Ryan could not help but held his breath in while waiting for Vivienne's response.

She glanced over him before she spoke.

"Because the drug was only in its early stages, there were more side-effects than now. Other than the bleeding being worse than this, she also suffered from hallucinations, headaches and some other minor effects like numbness in her extremities."

"Did you visit her all those five years?"

Ryan walked away from the couch to get another beer but his main purpose was to avoid Vivienne's gaze. Although she had told him that he had no responsibility whatsoever, he still felt guilty for the girl's suffering.

Unexpectedly, Vivienne followed behind him into the kitchen, holding the empty glass.

"I only met her during her second year of detainment but I visit her almost twice a month since then. My visits even become more frequent during the last year as I become more skilled at avoiding the guards and I knew that she needed me more that year. By that time, they only let her meet with her parents every 2 to 3 months."

"Thank you," Ryan mumbled.

He felt sincere gratitude towards Vivienne for accompanying the girl when she needed her. Vivienne placed the glass under the tap and held Ryan's head with both of her hands to make him look into her eyes directly.

"She was my friend. I don't need someone to thank me for accompanying my friend."

Ryan felt that her fingers were cold as usual and he suddenly felt like warming them. With that thought, he put down the beer bottle he just brought out from the fridge and held both of her hands in his while gently rubbing them.

Vivienne did not pull away and let him be as she studied the gentleness in his eyes which were looking down towards her cold hands.

Feeling her gaze, Ryan asked her a question without looking up.

"Don't you hate me?"

"Like I said, your parents were the ones who hurt my friend, not you. Why would I hate you?"

Although her words were sound with reason, there were not many people in this world who could remain clear-headed when their loved ones were hurt. And for her to have spent so much effort and faced the dangers to meet with the girl, the girl must have meant a lot for her.

After getting her forgiveness, he became greedier and sought for her warmth. He let go of her hands and embraced her lean body with his strong arms.

"Thank you"

Although his eyes were dry, his voice sounded quite hoarse.

Vivienne did not push him away yet did not try to comfort him either. She stood still in his embrace awkwardly until a few minutes passed by and he regained his composure.

Ryan moved away from her and cleared his throat.

"Sorry." He had also found his normal voice back.

She silently shook her head and said, "Hugging is healthy."

Seeing her say that with a straight face, Ryan did not know if he should laugh or not.

"It's late. You should go back. You really don't need to sleep here, tonight."

She studied his condition before making a decision.

"Okay then. Good night"

With that, she walked towards the front door.

Ryan did not even need a pill or a cigarette that night. May be because he was exhausted by his emotions and his activities during the day, he slept so soundly.

During their meeting on the weekend, Ryan told Allen and Julian about the involvement of his parents in the production of new drug.

The room was filled with gloomy silence after he had finished speaking. It was no doubt that a lot of thoughts must be running in the two officers' minds. Ryan braced himself for their judgement as he could not change the past and erase his parents' sins.

Allen was the first person to break the silence. He slapped Ryan's shoulder and spoke out his opinion.

"No matter what your parents did, it was also truth that you have always been a righteous captain. I've been your partner for two years and I can assure that you are nothing like your parents. It must have been hard for you to bear this burden alone. You should have told me sooner."

Ryan smiled wryly and said, "Thank you."

Then he looked towards Julian who was showing obvious disappointment.

"I understand," Julian murmured.

"I understand in my head that it had nothing to do with captain but..."

"You can say whatever is on your mind," Ryan encouraged him with a faint smile.

"Most people inherit their personalities from their parents. It is true that captain has always been kind towards us but didn't your parents also treat you the same? Yet, they did despicable things behind your back without you knowing till after their deaths. I can't be certain that you won't turn out like them. And..."

"Julian!"

Allen roared, trying to stop Julian. Ryan should already be upset after finding out about the truth and the rookie was putting salt over his wounds.

Ryan stopped Allen with a hand and focused on Julian.

"Go on."

"I know that you've helped me a lot and it'd be very ungrateful and rude for me to say this but you know me, captain. I can't keep things on my mind and I can't rest assured as long as there's a knot in my heart," Julian said with a serious tone.

"Of course, I know"

He knew about Julian's straightforwardness and that was the main reason he liked him.

"It would be against my conscience to work under a son of criminals."

Although Julian said it as politely as he could, only the words 'a son of criminals' ran in Ryan's mind. Even if it sounded harsh, it was the truth he had to accept. Yes. The Captain of City X Central Police Department was the son of two criminals.

"Please, excuse me," Julian said before he stood up and walked out of Allen's house.

"Don't take it to heart. The kid's still too young to understand the complicated nature of people. I'll follow after him," Shelly said and rushed out.

After Shelly and Julian left, Ryan said to Allen.

"What did you find out about the plate number I gave you?"

Ryan sounded calm and Allen could not find any distress in his expression either. So, Allen gave up on consoling him and just answered his question directly.

"Owner of the car is Bruno Bell, a Theoretical Physicist at the State University. Where did you get that plate number?"

Ryan checked the document Allen gave him and he found that the man in the picture was the same man he knocked into. So, he really was from outside of this city.

"I found the same needle marks under his fingernails as the ones we found in the two victims of the new drug."