Set 81

Almost done it

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.

You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that.You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"

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The Secretary Interview

A boss has to interview four girls for a secretary's position.

He thought of a question and asked each one of them: "A woman normally has two mouths, What's the difference between the two?"

The first one answered: One can talk but the other can't.

Second answered: one is vertical and the other is horizontal.

Third answered: one is hairy, the other isn't.

The last one answered: One is for my use and the other is for my boss.

Boss: You're hired!