The Zoo Keeper
This small zoo in New Zealand had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very agitated and difficult to handle, upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.
To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Mike, a part time trainee zoo keeper, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Mike, like most yahoos, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy ANY species.
So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Mike was approached with a proposition, would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500?
Mike showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her."
"Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."
The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Mike, "you gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."
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Big Chief's problem
In this Red Indian village, when every this Indian walks into the chief's teepee he sees that the chief is masturbating. They finally realize this is a serious problem, so they fix him up with a nice woman, and she starts living with him in his teepee.
One day, one of the Indians walks into to chief's teepee and there's the chief masturbating again. He says, "Chief, what are you doing? We fix you up with a beautiful woman."
The chief says, "Her arm get tired."