The Husband
There was a married couple in their living room, watching television. Suddenly the guy gets the urge to give some hot oral love to his wife. "Hey, baby," he says, "How 'bout I take you to the bedroom and get naughty south of the border?"
"No..." she replies, "I'm having my period."
"I don't care let's do it anyway," said her amorous husband.
"Ewww... Yet, okay," she says, "But what if someone comes to the door?"
"I'll just tell them I was eating a jelly sandwich and that I'm a messy guy." She agrees.
So they go in the room and he's going to town and she's loving it when all of the sudden the doorbell rings. The guy looks up, and he decides to leave it. The door bell rings again, and a third time. The man finally gets up and goes to open the door and it's their mailman.
"I have a package for you," the mail carrier says looking at the guy in a weird way.
"Okay, I'll sign for it," replies the husband.
"What's the matter with your face?" The mail carrier boldly asks.
"I was eating a jelly sandwich," the guy replies.
The mail carrier then smiles and says... "Yeah? Well, just to let you know you've also got some peanut butter on your nose."
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What is the difference between panties of 1970 and panties of 2004?
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In 1970 you have to pull down the pantie to see the buttocks.
In 2004 you have to seperate the buttocks to see the pantie.