Q] What's the similarity between a toy train and a woman's breasts?
A] Both are meant for the child but the father plays with it.
Q] What's pink n hard when it goes in but soft n sticky when it comes out?
A] Chewing Gum !!
Q] What's the sexiest thing between a guy's legs?
A] His bike!!
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Knee Injury
Liza was a 93-year-old woman who was getting more and more despondent over the recent death of her lover. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out her lover's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken anyway.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Liza was admitted to the local hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee!
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Racecar Driver
The racecar driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him in the face.
"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman. "In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights'. Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'What a smooth finish'."
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my p**sy and yelled, 'Who the hell left the garage door open'?"