26. Fix your sins.

"Mother I'll never do such. I never planned this. I thought that his mate will help him feel better. He's suffering from his past mother can't you see that?" She sobbed.

"Then why the hell did you tell him about his mate when I told you he wasn't ready! Because the only thing I can see now is the alpha forever losing her! And yes I can see he's suffering but he doesn't need his mate he needs a freaking therapist!"

"Because I didn't understand why, why you felt he wasn't fit enough to see his mate!" She yelled frustrated. "I didn't understand anything cause you won't explain to me and I wanted him to be happy. I thought that__that when he sees her he will become better I never wanted to jeopardize his relationship with his mate you have to believe me mother." She begged for understanding sobbing and breathing heavily. She covered her face with her hands and wept more.

Kim exhaled, Aiko was still her daughter after all. "Do you understand exactly what's wrong with him my dear?"

"I don't." Aiko cried out. Kim exhaled again removing her Daughters hand from her face.

"Then you don't understand why I asked for your discretion. The alpha is sufferings from emotional detachment. Emotional detachment is the avoidance of emotional connections. And although Emotional detachment can be a positive behavior which allows a person to react calmly to highly emotional circumstances."

"Emotional detachment in it's best is a decision to avoid engaging emotional connections, rather than an inability or difficulty in doing so, typically for personal, social, or other reasons. In this sense it can allow people to maintain boundaries, psychic integrity and avoid undesired impact by or upon others, related to emotional demands which the alpha is known for."

"Isn't that a good thing_"

"I'm not through. As much as emotional detachment has it's perk it also has it downs. Emotional detachment may allow acts of extreme cruelty, such as torture and abuse, supported by the decision to not connect emphatically with the person concerned. And this is why I asked that you kept the truth away from him because he sure as hell isn't ready for it."

"I never knew about this mother."

"I don't care Aiko I gave you a clear warning. Fix it. Get him to fix it! Because I'm sure as hell not letting you risk that young mans life because you could not obey simple instructions. Do you understand?"

Aiko nodded. She was going to fix this no matter what it took her to. The problem now was she didn't know how to. It took more than determination to fix a problem.

For the three months Gloria was in her cell the alphas condition became worse. He couldn't feel, he couldn't think.

The alphas first disorder came as a case of amnesia he forgot everything numbing his mind. But in the last week of the third month a drastic change occurred when he saw someone wearing almost the same clothes Gloria was wearing the day he brought her to his home, during a drive back from the meeting of alphas.

He went into a panic attack and his mind went on reset. Everything became on replay. His life was on replay. His memory was on replay, his mothers death, his first sex, the face Gloria gave to him when he had ordered her arrest, his father's brutality. Every bad he had ever experienced and ever done kept playing in his mind. He closed his eyes almost feeling himself drown in despair when he heard his mother's voice.

"You will lose someone you can't live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news."

"They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."

His mother had told him when he lost his best friends when he was little in a pack war. He wished he could have asked her how you get over a loss that happened right before your eyes. A loss you could have prevented but had no strength to. A loss you failed to prevent.

He was hurt so much it felt as though he would bleed to death with the pain of it. He wanted to save his mum. He should have fought for her even if he was only 13 and no match for his father. Having been a young wolf he still felt that he should have protected her. He should have by any means possible saved her from the rot of his dad.

As time went on he became a genius of sadness, immersing himself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. He was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum. His body was a prison, his mind a chain keeping his soul in check lest he joins his mother.

After her death he started to consider life as hell without his mother and the knowledge of having done nothing to help her hung on her head, a slow execution.