I can do this!

Haaaa, entering college to me is like entering puberty. I enjoyed having friends once more. Without my mom telling me what to do and her not talking to me lead me to drinking alcohol loooots of it; it brings out the real me. One time, my friends and I went to a certain bar. We lived like there is no other day ahead. I even kissed countless of men and women. It was a night to remember.

This went on for two years, until it hit me. My grades were going down until some of my subject teachers came talking to me about what to do in life; one even recommended me to transfer. The worst, they told me I can't graduate and will stay home for life waiting for money sent by my sisters and when I grow old I will rot in a corner with no one just myself. Those words hurt the most because it was all true. I saw myself in a mirror and touched my face…

Evette: What have I done?

I buried my face in my hands and cried for a whole minute. While crying, I saw myself in the mirror; this horrible ill-mannered girl. Sitting while talking to myself, I remembered my mother…

Evette: How is she? All this time she never texted me or called me. Will she contact me if I got into trouble? No, no, no I think I need to show her that I too can lift myself up. From now on I will pursue my dreams. I will graduate and I will work myself so hard my mother will pay attention to me. Alright that is my goal. I can do it.

Getting serious at life is hard. Seeing my friends hanging out and drinking was hard. Temptation was always there with me. Walking towards them; I remembered what I said myself and turned myself around. I run so fast until I got to my dorm.

Studying went on smoothly after that; my grades began to pass. I was so happy, so are my sisters. I don't know if the news reached my mom, but even though she neglects me now I know someday she will accept me again as her daughter.

That year I met Janica, she was my new next door neighbour. I find her attractive also. She has this men smell I like, a boy cut hair, men clothes, and her smile. I think I like her, I remembered the first time we talked…

Evette: Oh, I saw some mail but they sent it to my door by accident

(I actually stole it from her door when she came home late and saw this as an opportunity to talk to her)

Janica: I was waiting for that, thanks by the way.

Evette: it was nothing, my name's Evette by the way.

Janica: I know, I'm Jan

Evette: Do you want to eat some snacks? I have some in my room

Janica: No, no we just met so it's kinda embarrassing

Evette: No, it is my pleasure.

I pulled her into my room. My heart was racing as I grab her hand. I was giddy all of a sudden. She just sat on my mat as I prepared for snacks. We continued to chat until the night came. This continued until I feel completely in love with her. She feels my sorrows and understands my problems. We even have sleep overs, in separate beds of course. But sometimes, I wish something will happen. I sometimes expect her to kiss me in the middle of the night; I fantasize her caressing my breast and licking my lady parts over and over again.

One night, I confessed to her my feelings. She blushed as I tell her what I feel…

Janica: I also like you Evette. I love you.

That was the answer I was waiting for. That very night, all my fantasies came true. Her mouth was hot, her kisses was so warm her touch tingles all my nerves to excitement. I don't care if she was my first time, I am ready to give this all to her. She licked my breast and my nipples when hard. It was pleasurable, she then played with my p*ssy so hard I think I just went to heaven. She entered her fingers in and out, it was hard and wet. We kissed and do it all night.

Soon, my friends and sisters knew about our relationship. Some laugh saying "It's okay; she won't get pregnant anyway let her be". Some say "If you love someone needleless the gender, if it is true love; gender doesn't matter". The world is sometimes mean you know. Why can't other people be happy for others?

A year into our relationship, we found out that our feelings kind of depleted. I was less attracted to her; every night she touch me I felt weird, like the pleasure was all gone. Soon I found out that she was seeing other girls. I told her it is time for us to break up, she agreed.

The guilt of letting her go just like that was still on my mind. So one time, I called her cell phone. . .

(Ringing….)

Evette: Finally! You picked it up. How are you?

Other line: Hello? Who's this?

Evette: it's me Evette, silly

Other line: Oh, this is the cousin

Evette: "The cousin" What?

Other line: Jan's cousin, she gave me her phone because her new girlfriend brought her a new one. Soooo? What are you going to say to her? I'll just relay the message.

Evette: Girlfriend?!

Other line: Well, yeah. Why?

Evette: Wait, is that phone's brand KG1811?

Other line: Yeees? Why?

Evette: That's mine!

Other line: oh, sorry. I didn't know.

Evette: tell your shitty cousin I don't ever want to see her ever again. My things I need it back!!

Other line: O-Okay, meet me at Green Grass plaza this afternoon and I will give you back your cell.

Evette: So be it!!

(Ends call)

That shitty pervert, she didn't tell me she has a girlfriend after one day of breaking up! I was so mad I burned all our pictures together. I emptied my social media; I deleted all her images. If I can I will even delete her from this world. Uh! I am so mad!

I went to Green grass plaza, I dressed all sexy and stuff; even if I was mad I want her to look at me and tell her what she is missing. I forgot, she wasn't the one returning the phone. So stupid of me! Soon, a girl with boy cut hair, men clothes, and men shorts came to me asking if I am Evette. I said yes; I didn't know that the cousin will also be a tomboy. I laughed and she rolled her eyes…

Evette: I'm sorry "the cousin"

The cousin: What haven't you seen a tomboy before?

Evette: well I have. Pfft…

The cousin: And I have a name, just so you know.

Evette: Sorry, I haven't asked

The cousin: My name's Joan. My friends call me Jo

Evette: I'm evette. Nice to meet you

Jo: Why are you dressed so nice?

Evette: I was expecting Janica till later I remembered I was seeing you.

Jo: OOOOh! So all this get-up is for Jan? PFFFFTTT HAHAHAHA

Evette: Why are you laughing?!

Jo: Nothing. Pffft….

Evette: WHAT!!!

Jo: So you like my cousin?

Evette: So!?

Jo: I was just asking

Evette: She's my ex

Jo: WHUUUUUT?

Evette: I know you heard me

Jo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Evette: Give me my cell

Jo: Sorry, here. I'll get going now.

Evette: Wait!

Jo: why?

Evette: I want some milk tea. Let's go grab some.

Jo: I don't have any money sooo-

Evette: My treat

Jo: Why didn't you say so, let's go.

Having a nice conversation with her is so calming. It's like talking to Janica, even better because she only stare at me and doesn't look at other women like Janica. This went on until she confessed to me; she likes me. Our relationship went well; she even helped me study. I loved her more than anyone. Someday I will marry her that's how I was deeply in love that time.

With her help, I manage to graduate. I also passed my board exam. Soon after, I got into work. All my success; she was there and I thank her for she haven't left me. I love her so much. July 2015; was the best and worst day of my life. Because that day….

It was the first time my mother called she said "I am so happy for you, I love you with all my heart. I am so proud of what you achieve. Please harvest all the success in life" that was the best; but I was waiting for her to say she accepts me but I heard nothing. We were laughing while talking about my achievements then she cuts the conversation saying "Evette, I need you to go abroad, I am already processing your papers. You need to marry this foreign man in order for you to gain residence here abroad, then after marriage, petition your sisters in that way we will all be together here" that was the worst two minutes of my life, those words blocked the nice things she said a while ago.

My favourite colour is also green, I don't like pastel colours and fashion what's-not. I just regularly wear my t-shirts and plain jeans. I am not twisted, I am not different. I will fight for our love forever. I am attracted to boys but I also like girls. I feel in love to a tomboy. Now I need to face these challenges ahead of me. I am Evette~