3:45 a.m.

I'm sixteen years old... how could I... why would I... stay up this fucking late... who the fuck do I think I am? I'm just like every other teenager though staying up late on a school night. We're all trash honestly but high-school is the easy part. If we go to college we stay up cause if we don't we'll fail out of school and make our parents regret having us. Where the fuck is my mind going. Anyways, most people my age stay up because they're texting their lovers or they're in a group chat where everyone is having so much fun and so happy trying to cover their laughs cause they can't wake anyone else in the house up... because it's fucking 3:45 a.m. But I sadly am not this. I stay up so late in the night till dawn due to PTSD most people think you just see things and hear voices when you have schizophrenia but the reality is this happens with PTSD as well. I was diagnosed at 16 but had been living with the disease since I was four years old. So here I am awake in my bed sitting up terrified with headphones in my ears listening to the heaviest rap music possible to drown out voices or shadows that aren't there but are there in my mind. I wish I was like other high school students. I wish I didn't have this stupid disease. I always say "Let the ignorant stay ignorant and one day you'll see the glory they'll never get to see." But it's difficult to believe yourself when everyone's looking at you as if you were a freak because you had an episode in public.