Daniel

I was ten years old when I met my first crush. His name was Daniel. Daniel O'Malley. He was the son of my father's right hand man and he was twelve. Daniel had brown eyes and blond hair that fell into his eyes. He made my heart race every time I saw him. It was a completely foreign feeling but welcome all the same. His boy-next-door looks had reduced me to a babbling fool in front of him.

I killed Daniel when I was eighteen.

My luck with love was doomed because of the life I lived. It looked like I had a choice between this life and love but honestly, there was no option other than this life. If I had chosen a normal life with a husband who loved me, my life wouldn't work. I could never be just a good little lady married to a criminal because I chose love. Because that is what would've happened considering the amount of information I knew about the illegal dealings in Anmya. Love would've forced me to live this life regardless, the only difference was now I had weapons and men to protect me and my son.

Love was a good thing, surely. But it wasn't for people like me.

***

I woke up in my husband's bed the next morning. I was sleeping partially on my stomach with one of my hands under the pillow and the other one was stretched along the bed. Miraj was spooning me. My husband was a cuddler, surprisingly.

As I tried to get out of the bed, my movements must've woken up Miraj. He pulled me back into him and turned me. I obliged and said, "Good morning."

"Oh, it will be good once I am done with you!", he replied.

He buried his head into my neck and started kissing and biting my skin lightly. I giggled because it was a bit ticklish and pushed him away. I didn't even know I could giggle. I had to cover for the embarrassing sound so I cleared my throat and said, "Stop it. I have to go check on Ari. He has been restless ever since the kidnapping."

Miraj withdrew from my neck and said, "Alright. Fine. Spoil all my fun." His tone was that of a sulking child. It made me smile. He was always so playful in bed, a completely different man from out of it. He was a serious man all day long, worried about his son and his business, but when he came to bed, it looked like he left it all behind.

I got off the bed and looked for my robe but before I could find it my eyes landed on the broken pieces of an antique vase. The mess was in the right corner of the room where there was a small console table. The vase used to be on top of that table. That was before I hit it with my leg by mistake, when Miraj had me up against the wall right beside the table.

Huh. Fun times.

"I'll see you at breakfast", I said to Miraj as I put on my robe and left.

He made a non-committal hum.

***

It was still early when I got showered and dressed, so I made my way to Ari's room. He was still in bed, sleeping peacefully. I heaved a sigh of relief as I walked closer.

"Ari, baby, get up", I said in a singsong voice.I sat down beside him and started caressing his hair slowly.

He made a non-committal hum and snuggled towards me. 'Like father, like son', I thought.

"Baby, come on. It's time to get up."

"I don't wanna..", he mumbled in his sleep. He pushed his head into my lap and promptly went back to sleep.

I bent down to whisper into his ears,"I am planning to make pancakes for breakfast."

He opened one-eye and asked,"Chocolate pancakes?"

"Yes", I replied.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes as he asked," Will you let me have more than two?"

I usually exercised restrain on his chocolate intake. Poor boy wasn't allowed more than two.

"Only if you are a good boy", I said.

I hoped showing him some extra-love relieved the guilt in my heart from day before yesterday.

After hearing my reply, he jumped off his bed and rushed to the bathroom as he said, "I'll be the goodest boy, Mommy."

I followed him into the bathroom to help him as I said, "You're already the best boy, baby!"

"But, Mommy, I wanna be the goodest boy!"

Ah, the struggles of a three-year old.