Thought 5-Tired of Hurt

I'm so tired. Not the type of tired that comes from a lack of sleep, a tiredness that comes from a lack of interest in the world; in life. Have you ever felt so tired, so tired that you feel if you went to sleep you would never wake up again? Sometimes, that's what you want, to just go to sleep and never wake again. You feel like nothing, you wish to be nothing, others treat you like nothing, but you're just enough of a something to be able to suffer in this godforsaken world. What's the point of being here if no one wants me here? I won't tell you that your life serves some greater purpose in the grand scheme of things, because I would be lying to you if I told you that you were put on this earth to do something. The fact of the matter is, nothing will just fall in your lap, you have to work hard to earn your keep. We are not all destined for more, that's unreasonable, there will always be people in the world who live meaningless lives. I'm not trying to hurt you, I just don't want to lie to you. Nothing will solve your problems for you, you have to do it yourself. I'm so tired, I just want to stop and lay down; rest, I feel sometimes that my life is meaningless, that I should just disappear, but even through that I continue. My life might be meaningless, but I found the will to not live for myself but for someone else. I don't care if my life isn't worth a dime, I don't care if you hate or hurt me, if you want to deal with me then come try! As long as the object of my love still lives, I'll fight with my meaningless life on the line! So even if you feel your life is meaningless, find someone or something to live for, a person or a thing it doesn't matter. Let it give you the burning desire and will to live to overcome your feelings of nothingness. If the world goes against you, then show the world who's boss! I'm so tired, but you give me the will to live, so I'll fight tooth and nail, through blood and flames, over mountains of knives and seas of fire! What does that matter, I can't feel any of it! Only you give me feeling, so I'll thrive for you! That's my will!