11

Laughter echoed in the parlor upon my arrival. My mother and her friend were sitting across each other when I walked in through the back door. I peeped in through the Kitchen to see that they were distracted with whatever they were discussing.

"Gloria are you back?" My mum asked startling me_my heart stopped. She must have heard my footsteps, I thought.

My heart raced and for unknown reasons I was so scared even though I hadn't done anything to warrant me being afraid.

But what does that passage in the bible say? The wicked runs even when no man pursues. I might not have done anything now to warrant me being afraid but I was aware of the atrocity I committed where I went to..

I had sinned against my mum and broken her trust. I had deceived her, lied to her face. I was right to be scared. If she knew of the sins I had committed she would never forgive me.

But there was no way I could tell her and risk being disowned. The drama that will come after was also not something I could afford. Besides what would I tell her.

Yes, I had been raped once maybe twice but I had come to love my rapist more than I did myself and I would protect him even more than I will myself.

"Gloria!" My mum called again her voice laced with worry.

It was then I realized that I had been silent, unmoving. Even though my heart still raced in my chest and my hand sweaty I regained my composure and walked into the parlor.

Thankful that I had taken my bath before leaving the resort. If I didn't I could not have had the grace to hearken to her call.

"Good evening mum. Good evening MA." I greeted in a rush. I was scared my lips would betray me_that they would tremble or that they would give in my most deepest secret.

"Good evening. Gloria eat your food before you do anything. It's on the dining." My mum said like I rightly predicted.

"Good evening. You are really growing tall and beautiful. What cream do you use? Your fair no get spot oh! See hair!" Mama Cletus praised me. I smiled and muttered a thank you. For I didn't know what else to say.

"This your daughter is really beautiful. Chaii ezibo nwa." She said to my mum jealously.

I saw my food on the dining and sat to eat feeling a little bit comfortable knowing that I had already taken my bathe.

But I was still afraid because even though I no longer smelt like orgasm I might smell like him_of him.

Wherever I went it was his scent that filled the air.

I watched the meal in front of me like it would reveal some answers maybe even my future.

I was hungry, more still the jollof rice in front of me looked very appetizing, yet I had no appetite.

"It's God oh. We Thank God. It's not about beauty but character. It's character that will get you a good husband not beauty. But I trust my daughter she is not a loose girl. You know my neighbor's daughter Amaka is pregnant." My mum said shaking her head. "Children of these days. Who will want to marry her now her life is destroyed."