Intimacy

Ezra strongly felt that he should not take this event too far and that he should mull and strategize his next course of action. He was too unprepared for her actions today and he knew he should try his best to keep his head on straight and not be impulsive, no matter how much he wanted to melt in her arms and become lost in her, he had to suppress his desires for a greater gain.

He had been unable to get past his feelings for her for the past decade or so, as such, he had accepted that he probably never would… even if he kept ignoring those feeling as he had tried to do, until now.

He knew that the love he felt for her was not the intense love he had read about or seen with other people, or in movies, but at the same time, she was singular, she was the only person to have ever created such strong feelings in him.

Ezra was aware; somewhere deep inside; that if they took this step, he would just fall more and more into an endless chasm of love, pain and despair if his feelings were not reciprocated.

Ezra wanted to stop her, but he was also unwilling to do that, the contrasting feelings making him remain as still as a statue.

As intoxicated in her own impulsiveness as Daphne was, she was waiting for a reaction from Ezra, but he was just sitting there, with a hard-on, and an erratic heartbeat. The seconds passed slowly. Time had suddenly become excruciatingly slow.

Daphne was losing her patience, such a delicious meal was right in front of her. She had never had the opportunity to observe and admire him from up-close for long before, due to this, the more she looked, the more bewitched she became.

Ezra was just painfully handsome. He was so handsome that, even if he was not feminine at all, you could not help but feel slightly inadequate in comparison, even if you were a woman. If you lacked just a bit of self-confidence when you were in the same frame as him, even if you wanted to admire the man and imagine being his pair, you would be unable to.

Ezra's eyes were deep set and golden; his eyelashes long and dense; his skin flawless; his lips extraordinarily charming, they were not too thin, but not too plump either. His jawline and cheekbones were prominent, well placed and symmetric.

When this man looked at you, even if you did not want to, you could not help but be lost in his magical globes that were exquisitely framed by his perfect facial features.

Daphne knew that; had she been in his position, where a man came onto her; she would be more comfortable being the one to make the next move after said imaginary man had explicitly acted out his intentions.

She did not want to be a hypocrite and act in ways she would undoubtedly criticize others for, but at the same time, she was at the end of a much worn out rope. She had been reacting negatively to too much of everything, for years now. It had reached a point where she did not know if it was the sexual frustration or the crippling depression. She hoped it was the sexual frustration and that once she had had her "garden watered," her depression would get, even a smidgen, better.

Daphne was too prideful to go to a psychiatrist or a therapist and she was of the mind that only she could solve her own problems. She believed that if she had no reason to be happy, as she felt she didn't, no amount of pills would magically make her happy. Delusional and drugged, maybe, but most probably, not happy.

It was a choice; to get medicated. She could not deny, she had inquired about her situation discreetly when asking different, older, socialites. People that, to her, looked unhappy. After a few pushes, a few of them had admitted to taking psycho-therapeutic medication. They spoke of ending up at a point where the medication was making their life easier, but to Daphne, they did not look happy, but resigned and drained.

She did not want to end up at the same junction, one where her choice was either accepting her depression or taking medicine to feel better; as such, she had been experimenting with different activities until only one was left; sexual intimacy. And ever since she had reached this last idea, she had suddenly become aware of her sexual frustration.