Chapter 13

"Am I rushing you?" He asked letting go of me when I didn't kiss back. We were barely few inches apart and I could feel his breath on me. I wanted to kiss him so bad but I found that I was rooted to the same spot. I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by him.

"No. It's not you. It's me. I don't know what's wrong with me but I just feel_I don't even know how I feel_ it's so bad I feel caged_I_I. " I  rambled. Realizing I was saying nothing reasonable I took in a deep breath and smiled. I was still a little bit shaken but the deep breath I took helped a lot in calming me down. "You just took me by surprise that's all."

"So you mean that I should ask for your permission next time before I kiss you." He asked looking Incredulous.

"No. Its not that." I quickly added. "I just. I guess I'm not ready." I held his hands, "I'm sorry."

"No  I'm sorry." He sighed, hugging me. He held me close and I let him. I wanted to just be there close to him, with him, forever. I wanted to feel at peace.

"I've to go home before it gets to 10pm. I don't want them suspecting that I've joined the bad gang." I joked pulling him away from me so we could get going.

"But you've joined the bad gang. You are coming home late, skipping chapels, dinner, and escaping from the people at home. I don't want you doing things you don't want to. You know we may not see at night if it's going to be inconveniencing for you. I just want you to be fine to go at your own pace." We stopped walking when he said the last part.

We were already close to the church and the light from the church made his glasses glow. For the first time this night I was able to look him in the eye because now it was completely covered.

"Its not inconveniencing me in any way. Besides there is no adventure without a little bit of risk and change. I want to see you every night and I don't care the rules I break." I replied quite frankly.

And,

He did the most unexpected thing. He spanked my ass. In the middle of the road, with light all around us and in front of the church and the only thing I could do was laugh.

"You are crazy." I said walking away because if I stayed facing him he was going to realize how shy I was. I was blushing so bad if I was white I would be red.

"We both are."

When I got to the gate I found out that it was open and I couldn't be more happy. Didn't want to start calling someone to open the gate for me. I honestly didn't like most of the people that lived here. They pretended a lot which was annoying. Plus mediocrity was the order of the day. There was nothing that vexed me more than mediocrity.

"Thank God the gate is open. And Jesus loves me." I sighed happily voicing out my thoughts. "Goodnight." I chanted almost on my heels. I wanted to run away so I could go into my room and think about the kiss till my face hurts from smiling too much.

'I don't get a kiss or a hug." He pouted and I laughed. I hit his shoulders softly and did what I've wanted to do since he kissed me. I ran away.

I feared that if the smile on my face became any broader my jaw would break. I was smiling and jumping at the same time like a high school kid. And I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to control my emotions. I wanted to feed them, to feel them to let them run wild.

I wanted to feel all the happiness that came with love and all that it could give. I didn't want control, I've had to control myself all my life. Right then I wanted to live. To smile. To breathe.

Still smiling I went to use the toilet which was just outside the room. Since I had taken my bath before leaving to see him I didn't have worry about taking my bath again. My plan was to enter the room,  change to my nightgown and sleep.

But