1st day on an alien world I get arrested

Having an alien stay on this ship designed for humans was….odd.

"Bill no!" Tandy cried out as she snatched the fork from Bill's hand, "we use this to eat with! We don't eat forks!"

"Oh, sorry," Bill said nervously, "you see the texture of the food back home is hard like that...fork you have," the word sounding foreign in his mouth, "I just naturally assumed that to be the case here as well."

"If that's what passes for food then I don't blame you guys for leaving your planet when you did," I snorted as I brought dinner out, two plates in each hand and the rest floating behind me thanks to my telekinesis.

I put the plates down before Bill, the horse faced man looking down at it oddly, "what...is this?"

"It's called chicken," Johnny grinned, "it's a bird."

"A bird?"

"Oh my god this is going to be a long two days," Jessica muttered.

"So Bill," I continued, ignoring Jessica's comment, "tell us about your people."

"What do you wish to know?" Bill asked.

"Why did you people leave your home world?" Susan asked.

"A lack of resources," Bill confided, "our crops had grown stale and out food supply was running low. Centuries of wasting our natural resources made things...difficult."

"Sounds a lot like where our planet is heading," Wanda grumbled.

"Is it?" Bill looked surprised, "that's...maybe you can stop it? Before you go past the point of no return?"

"Don't worry, we plan too," Susan replied with a steel in her eyes that I learned to recognize when she was accepting a challenge.

"May I ask a question now?" Bill asked, looking to me, "are you really the captain of this ship?"

I nodded, "yeah, why do you ask?"

"Well...it just you don't seem to obey the ranking system the greater galaxy uses," Bill replied, "the captain does not eat with his crew."

"Sounds like you have shitty captains," I shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I see them as my friends first rather than a crew. It's a human thing."

"No, it's a you thing," Logan grunted as he chugged from his favorite mug of self refilling ale, "it's the same in the army back on Earth, in every branch of military. You're the only one who doesn't follow it."

"Huh...how about that?" I shrugged. Bill looked curious a sense of confusion coming from him, it was only then did I realise he didn't actually know anyone's name save mine and Tandy.

"Right then, introductions," I smiled, "as you know I'm Peter, the captain. And you already know Tandy, our favorite healer. She's the one who helped bring you back from the brink of death."

Bill smiled, or whatever the closest thing to a smile he could produce, nodding gratefully, "thank you Tandy, I appreciate your efforts."

"Oh it was nothing," the girl chuckled, grinning ear to ear.

"This is Felicia, she's our resident stealth expert and goddess," I motioned to my girlfriend sitting next to me who smirked dangerously at Bill, causing the alien to gulp as a wave of fear washed out.

"G-Goddess?" Bill asked.

"I'm the avatar of one, no biggie," Felicia replied.

"Right, and this is Jessica, she's...well, I suppose she doesn't really have a special role," I hummed.

"Weapon's expert," Jessica declared, waving at Bill, "also, sorry about the shock."

"No, I understand," Bill nodded.

"That's Logan, don't touch his mug and don't take his spot," I pointed at the war veteran who grunted.

"His spot?" Bill blinked. In response Logan simply pointed to his hammock to the side of the room, "I see."

"This here is our resident witch, Wanda," I smiled, she did not, glaring a hole into Bill's head, "just a warning, when she said she will throw you into a star if you piss her off, she wasn't joking."

"I-I swear it will not come to that Wanda," Bill muttered, though the red witch didn't seem to have heard him as her glare held strong.

"Anyway, that's Scott and his lady love Rogue," I motioned to the two quite lovers, who just nodded, "they don't talk much."

"We do," Scott replied, "we just don't have much to say..."

"Right...then there's the Storm siblings, Sue and Johnny," I motioned ot the two blonde who gave polite smiled in return, "Johnny's in charge of the engines and Sue is our resident genetics expert."

"Which reminds me," Susan cleared her throat, "after we're done here you and I need to run some tests in the lab, make sure you aren't carrying any diseases that could affect us."

"Worry not, I am clean of all sorts of microbial life forms, my internal systems prevent such a concept," Bill assured the woman.

Sue blinked, "internal systems?"

Bill nodded, "yes. I believe the technical term is..cyborg? Did the translators follow through on that translation?"

"Wait, you're a cyborg?!" Johnny cried out as his eyes literally began glowing in excitement, "show us!"

"Johnny don't act stupid, how can he show you?" Sue hissed, "it's internal circuitry!"

Bill nodded, "you are correct Sue, it is internal."

"Are all your people like this?" Jessica asked, the idea of a planet of robots sounding very appealing.

"No, I am special," Bill replied, "when my people decided to go on our exodus to find a new home, they elected someone who could protect them while they were in stasis, that someone, was me. They...changed my body, made me stronger. So I could protect them...but I failed..."

Immediately the mood changed, everyone gave Bill a look of sympathy, even Wanda. "Well you haven't failed yet," I spoke up, "no bodies, no crime. We already installed your tracking chip into the navigations, it's just a matter of time before the results come through. Until then, eat, I assume you steal can adapt energy from food?"

Bill looked up, nodding slowly, "yes...thank you for this," he then looked down and stopped, "ah...how exactly am I to eat this?"

A ripple of laughter went through the table as Tandy and Logan helped carve up Bill's food for him. We watched him take a piece of chicken and bite into it as a sudden explosion of happiness exploded out of him.

"W-what is this?!" Bill cried out in joy, "this tastes, this tastes amazing! I have never tasted anything so good in my life! It's sweet, and sour and juicy and oh!" he began inhaling the meat, biting through the bones, grinding it with his powerful jaw, "and so crunchy!"

"Ah Bill-"

"Peter," Felicia patted my shoulder, "let him enjoy."

I chuckled, "alright. Let's dig in guys!"

After dinner we took Bill down to the lab and had him analyzed. Sure enough, he was telling the truth, his body rejecting virus that were harmful to his system. But that didn't mean we couldn't use his blood to make a vaccine of sorts for anything one could face outside our ship.

Bill was very helpful in that sense. He told me exactly what kind of people one could expect in the galaxy and more importantly what sort people to avoid. He even helped Sue develop the immunity shot, though his additions were just giving the identified space illness the proper name.

That night I showed Bill to his room, "and here it is," I gestured to the door furthest away from everyone else, "I figured you would want your privacy."

Bill looked at the door and nodded, "thank you for this Peter. I didn't realise you humans liked to sleep in such small room though," he noted the space between the door, "I don't think I can fit in there though, doesn't look like there is much space."

I grinned, "well..." I opened the door and gestured inside.

Bill's eyes went wide, "H-how?! It-it's," he put his head inside and looked at just how far apart the walls were before looking outside and seeing the small gap between each door, "it's small on the outside!"

"...Not how that line usually goes, but yeah. It's a pocket dimension, expanded space if you will," I shrugged, "something I came up with."

"Amazing! The level of technology Earth has seems to far outweigh my people's!"

"Not really," I replied, "I'm...well, one of the smartest people on my world, not to brag or anything. Earth actually doesn't have intergalactic travel, hell, they haven't even unlocked the secrets to pollution free energy. Well, most of them haven't."

"Such a difference," Bill murdered, "I dare say you would put most of the scientist of my world to shame...maybe if you had built me instead..."

"Hey," I patted his shoulder, "we'll get them back big guy. Promise."

"I...thank you Peter...again..."

"Right, I'll let you rest now, get some sleep if you can. I'll be on the last door to the right if you need me," I pointed at my door, "but ah, knock before you come in, yeah?"

Bill smiled, "agreed...good night Peter Parker."

And just like that two day seemed to fly by.

Two days later:

As we passed by three stars locked in a gravitational force field, I sat at the pilot's seat and smiled, "Sexy, have everyone assemble on deck please."

"At once Peter," the AI replied.

I began typing away at the navigations system and accessing the communications array the major galaxy used. It wasn't difficult to find their version of the internet, though in their terms it was called the galanet, a rough translation though it is.

Using the galatech I was able to a place to dock the ship. Since it was small and carried with it cloaking tech a ship this size shouldn't be able to produce, I was sure we couldn't be tracked and in a few short minutes I already had a place to land.

"What's going on Spider?" Logan grumbled as he stumbled onto the deck, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "why did you call us?"

"Yeah, I was finishing up my weapons system," Johnny called out, walking in with greece covering his hands and face, "wait-is that.."

I grinned, I twirled the seat around, the rest of my crew entered and were looking out the window is awe, "that, is Xandar," I looked over my shoulder at the sapphire orb, "the heart of the Nova empire."

"I-it looks so much like Earth," Felicia whispered.

"Water would have to be a common necessity in all carbon based lifeforms," Sue whispered.

"Peter, I've activated the cloaking field, we should be invisible for their sensors," the AI called out, "we're going in dark."

"Good," I swirled around and took over the controls, "you guys have to admit, a new planet is kind of dope."

"Yeah, no shit," Jessica whispered as they all stood behind me, watching as the ship came down bellow into Xander's atmosphere, swirling past a ship that had just shot past us.

"Cutting it a little close there Pete!" Johnny cried out.

"Sorry, downside of flying on a stealth system, people won't know you're there so they won't avoid you," I hissed as I managed to swirl and bring the ship down further without incident. We flew over what looked like a major metropolis, everyone's eyes were glued to the amazing structures below us.

"An alien civilization," Felicia whispered, "damn, and I thought Asgard was impressive."

"Asgard?" Bill blinked, turning his horse faced heads to me, "you have been to the mythical realm of Asgard?"

I nodded, "yup. Even met Odin and Thor, the former's a dick, the latter is like an adorable puppy dog. Not a bad place."

"Yeah, if it isn't being attacked by an army of Dark Elves," Wanda snorted.

"Or if you aren't being hit on by a horny god," Felicia grumbled.

"I….I see," Bill blinked, "forgive my words, but seeing you speak so carelessly about the realm of Gods seems...odd."

"Relax," Jessica snorted, zipping up her jacket, "you'll get used to it."

"I'll alright, I'm bringing her down," I announced, "when we land I want you all to stay put, after I secure the credits we need I'll come back and we can explore."

"Yeah, no way Pete," Johnny cnroted, "I ain't sitting in this junk pile for a second longer."

"Hey!"

"What Johnny means is that the close quarters have become...uncomfortable to say the least," Sue spoke up, elbowing her brother, "we can all use some fresh air...plus the idea of a planet never seen before is...I have to admit, it's too tempting an idea."

I sighed, "fine...Sexy, bring out the boarding suits."

"At once," the AI replied as the panel to the right of the pilot's seat opened up, revealing several dozen white bands inside. I took them out and tossed it to Sue and the others, "upgraded UMF suits, these change based on the thoughts of the user. Wear them around your collars or as a belt under your clothes, but don't activate them. We don't know what kind of scanners Xandar has and we can use every advantage we can get."

"This is supposed to fit around my hip?" Logan growled, holding up the UMF band, pulling on it.

I shrugged, "it stretches."

"You know, I really thought you were going to give us suits like Felicia and Wanda have," Johnny replied with a froan.

"I'm working on it Johnny, trust me. But I need time, you can't rush genius. Anyway, go change everyone, I'll call you when we are ready to move." Everyone nodded as they left, leaving only Felicia, Wanda and Bill behind.

"Oh, I almost forgot," I tossed another UMF band into Bill's hands, "they really do stretch Bill."

"I...do you not needs such technology for yourself?" Bill asked, "it seems to valuable-"

"-It used to be, but after my adventures I picked up a few tricks to the production. Trust me Bill, it's fine. Besides, you can use every advantage you get," I eyed the large black shirt and jeans he wore, "plus, I don't think my clothes are all that comfortable on you..."

"Agreed...thank you Peter, I shall go change now," Bill nodded as he turned and took the elevator to the living quarters below.

"So, what's the plan?" Felicia asked, leaving against my seat armrest.

"There's a man known as the Brooker on Xandar, did business with the dwarves before I came around and well...he's...difficult," I sighed, rubbing my nose, "it will be difficult trading with him, but profitable."

"What are we trading?" Wanda asked, I looked her and blinked. She had her hand on the pilot's seat and leaning towards me. She sent me a glare, "what?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, "and as for what we're selling, it's simple," I reached into my bag of storage and took out a small bronze cylinder, "basic weapon. A spear that is charmed to be unbreakable and can conduct dimensional energy into it's tip to send out energy blasts. Very powerful."

"Is it a good idea to be arming our possible enemies?" Wanda asked.

"Maybe. But we need credits, and if I am being honest...the spear isn't really unbreakable. It can be destroyed. It just requires a stupid amount of energy to do it. Anyway, we should be getting enough credits for this," I then looked at their clothes, Felicia in a black jacket and black pants, white undershirt with my logo in black on it, Wanda in jeans and high heels, red jacket with a hoodie and a black full sleeved undershirt, "don't forget, keep your suits nearby. We should expect all eyes on us."

"Don't worry, we know," Wanda snorted, "we aren't stupid."

"I know honey, just a reminder," I grinned. I managed to find a space to park the ship on a tall building near the heart of the city underneath. It was an apartment complex and according to the galanet, one that boasted about it's high security, so we didn't have to worry about someone stealing out ship.

Half an hour later, we stepped out, dressed in real clothing. Most everyone wore jeans a shirt and a jacket, it became our uniform. Tandy was the only one who wore her white robes. I wore the Thriller jacket Felicia got for my birthday and together we walked on the roof of an alien building and looked at the city before us in awe.

Three suns crowned the bright blue sky. Two yellow stars and one red dwarf. The sky had flying vehicles going through it and the city floor was open and filled with greenery and water fountains. A mesh of metal and wood that I hadn't seen since Asgard itself.

The people crawling down across the street were dressed in grey or light coloured suits, all fully covering their body. They had varying skin tones, some red, some yellow, all alien to my eyes.

"This is amazing," Sue whispered as she observed them all with the keen scientific mind I knew she had, "so many...and yet, they are all similar to us."

"There are even a few Terrans," Bill noted with a huff, "this planet really is a melting pot of culture."

"Terran?" Logan grumbled.

"The classification for your species," Bill replied.

"Wait, so the greater galaxy is aware of Earth?" I asked, not realising this fact sooner.

"Why yes. Did I not tell you?" Bill looked surprised.

"No!" Tandy cried out, turning to me, "Pete...are we in danger?"

I narrowed my eyes and turned to Bill, "Bill, what exactly does the greater galaxy knock off Earth?"

"Wel...if I recall correctly, nothin much. The reason I didn't recognize your hailing at first was because we do not even call you Humans, we call you Terrans, and instead of Earth, we call the planet Terra. Not many people know of it, the only reason I do is because...well, my memory cells are loaded with the collective knowledge needed for space travel."

"So you're like walking talking Wiki, nice," Johnny grinned, once more, earning an elbow to the ribs from Sue.

"Well that's something I guess...come all, we need to move," I ordered, we approached the roof door and reached out to open it, only for the door to not budge. I groaned, holding up my forearm, "Sexy, hack it."

"Done," it took a second to have the door swinging open for us.

"How did you manage to hack into alien tech?" Johnny asked as we made out way down the stairs, which was odd since I didn't think anyone would still use stairs.

"It's the same concept, different language," I shrugged, "I had Sexy learn all the lanauges stored in the translators we have and using the coding on the ship as a base we gotta good handle on how most alien systems work. No biggie."

"Sure..." Jessica drawled out as we stepped outside onto the streets of the capital city, looking at everything in wonder.

We were an odd group to be sure, many eyes were drawn to us, more specifically to Bill who stood up like a sore orange horse faced thumb, but no one said anything. Which was nice of them.

As we walked around I noticed the excitement in the air. Even Logan couldn't help but look in awe of the places around us. I smiled, I guess getting out of the ship once in a while was a good thing after all.

"Sexy, can you access a map of the city?" I tapped my ear and whispered. My suit slowly slithered up my arm and created a small holo projection on my wrist, displaying said map, "can you mark the Broker's location?"

"Done," the AI replied, displaying the nearest route from our current location to the Brooker's.

We walked up to a raised platform that crosse over several roadways into a channel of buildings, each one having a pathway leading into the building from the platform. We quickly approached the Brooker's shop, the entrance barred by a gated door.

"This is it," I sighed, switching off the map.

"You sure? Doesn't look like much," Logan grunted.

"I think that's the point," Jessica sniffed the air, "I can smell greed and anger from inside. We have a rat on our hands."

"Wait, you can smell him?" Johnny spoke up, "hot."

"Not interested kid," Jessica growled back. I felt for Johnny, I really did, it seemed unfair to him, but...well...that's just how things went it would seem.

I walked up to the door and knocked on the door, "excuse me? Is this the Brooker? Have i something to trade."

A second later the doors were raised open, revealing a nice clean display are inside with glass covered pedestals all around the walls and at the end of the room, a man standing behind a counter with several artifacts placed on a cloth napkin.

The man was dressed in a white top and grey pants, the former having shoulder pads that jutted out like claws. His eyebrows were large and crawling, four thin lines of hair covering his head from the back to front, like a rooster's crown.

"Come in, please," he smiled, looking at rusted length of metal in his hands through a eyepiece, "and please note that I do have the Nova corps peacekeepers on speed dial if the need so arises."

"Trust me, it wont," we walked in. I noticed Felicia immediately eyesing the many trinkets the man had on display. I sent a mental probe into her mind, "Kitten..."

"What? I'm just looking," she purred, flashing me a smile that was anything but innocent.

We approached the Brooker's counter and waited. He kept looking at the object in his hands, ignoring us entirely. Those of us who were trained in dealings knew it was a power play.

So I reached into my backpack and took out the bronze cylinder I was trading, placing it on the table with a bang.

"Do you treat items you wish to batter with such crass?" he asked.

"Do you keep customers waiting in a poor attempt at a power play?" I asked back.

He smiled, putting the item down and looking up at me, "and you are?"

"You don't remember me do you?"

"Should I?"

"Yes, because the last time you saw me you were begging my master Eoffren for the chance to even hold one of his wears," I shot back and just like that the persona of power he had came crashing down.

His eyes winded so much the monolens he hand popped out almost comically. His eyes roamed my person before his jaw dropped, "s-sir Parker?!"

"Been some time Brooker, how are things?" I smirked.

"G-good sir Parker, very good," he began palming his hands, lowering his head, "may I ask what you are doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to be here?" I teased.

"No! Not at all, please, what's mine is yours!" the man stuttered out.

"Peter, do you know him?" Johnny asked.

"Sir Parker and I did some trading a while ago," the Brooker answered with a smile I bet even his mother didn't get to see, "he convinced his master to do some dealings with me a few standard months ago."

"Yes, how was that by the way? Make a profit?" I asked.

"Always Sir Parker," the man smiled greedly.

"Good...then I did come to the right place," I motioned ot the spear.

The man practically flew to grab it, holding the bronze cylinder like a prized possession, which in his case it might as well be. He rolled it around his hands and gasped, "the seal of Nova Driller?"

"I am a forger of the realm, I have the right to place the seal on my creations," I replied.

"You made this?! Amazing!" he whispered looking it around, "what...what is it?"

I held out my hand, summoning the cylinder into it. I twisted it an the spear shot out, "unbreakable, and able to shot out energy blasts strong enough to punch through twenty inches of standard galactic steel."

"A-amazing!" the Brooker cried, taking the spear back and placing his momolens on his eye, scanning the whole object, "and you are willing to part with it Sir Parker?"

"I'm not a dwarf, I am not a very possessive person," I smiled, only to have Jessica, Felicia, Wanda and Sue snort at the same time.

"Are they sick?" Bill asked cluelessly.

"Don't' worry about it buddy," Tandy just replied, "they just reacted to something stupid."

"As I was saying," I gritted my teeth, "I am willing to part with it... for a price."

A gleam came in the Brooker's eyes, "I can give you twenty million units." Johnny, the untrained idiot he was, gasped in shock. I should totally play that idiot in poker.

"Come on Brooker, what kind of idiot do you think I am?" I snorted, "one billion."

Brooker faked a gasp, "Sir Parker, have you gone mad?! I cannot afford such prices!"

"Yes, you can," I replied, "but you know what, just because it's you and we have...history, I'm willing to bring the price down to seven hundred and fifty million, in exchange for...information."

The man's greed filled eyes picked up on the bait and bite, "well, that would depend on the nature of this information."

I smiled, turning to Bill and motioning him to come forward, "Korbians, do you know off them?"

The Brooker sent Bill a look and nodded, "yes, I'm aware. They were on a mass Exodus if I recall. What off it? Is he one of them? Doesn't look like a Korbian."

"No, a few weeks ago they were attacked, do you know about that?" I asked, placing a calming hand on Bill's shoulder, the alien visibly becoming impatient.

"Yes, I am aware," the Brooker nodded, "ugly buisness...happened to come across one of Thanos' armies….I am sorry for you lose Korbian..."

"They aren't dead," Bill hissed out, "they cannot be."

The Brooker looked surprised, "I beg your pardon?"

"No bodies," I replied, "they didn't leave any bodies behind, meaning we don't think they all died."

"So...there is still hope?" the Brooker asked, "well I have not heard of any Korbian's suddenly coming away...I am sorry, but I do not think I can help..."

Bill changed his head. Tandy immediately came forward and hugged the friendly giant and pulled him away, whispering to him how it would be fine. How if there were no bodies, they could all still be alive.

I sighed, "alright...if you hear anything about them, can you contact me?"

"Do you have a galactic address?" the Broker asked.

"No...I actually don't have a lot of things...can you set up a meeting for me with a bank? Preferable one with tough security and even tougher lawyers?" I asked.

The man grinned, "I have just the one in mind. I can have my assistant show you after we are done...now, is that all?"

"Don't get too ambitions Brooker," I smiled, "I do have one more thing...have you heard about...the Phoenix?"

The man's eyes went wide, "S-Sir Parker I-"

"-I just want to know what you heard," I replied quickly, leaning forward on his counter, "I know someone, anyone must have seen it. And you always keep an eye out for the important things in the galaxy. So? Tell me...what do you know?"

The man gulped, he looked around and finally noticed just how serious my crew had become. We stared at him, all awaiting an answer. And after a second, he relented.

"The Phoenix...has been sighted, yes," he sighed, "it was a few months ago, the Shi'ar empire is...well, up in arms for a lack of better words. It's been ten thousand years since the last sighting of the Phoenix, needless to say they were running around frantic."

"Why? What does the Shi'ar Empire have to do with the Phoenix?" Wanda asked.

"Why everything my dear," the Brooker replied, "do you not know of their rivalry with the creature?"

I narrowed my eyes, "no, please, do explain."

"Well, you see a few centuries ago, the Phoenix chose a Shi'ar as its host and in doing so caused great destruction to the Empire, burning away half it's military fleet. It is said the creature was relentless...and ever since then the Shi'ar Empire has stayed away from the creature and it's worked. But now that it's back..."

"Where exactly did they see it?"

"On a distant uninhabited planet called Prevor-2344, do you have a map on which I can mark it?" the Brooker asked. I displayed to him my hologram and he did so, "but that was some time ago, I doubt it is there anymore."

"No...this is fine," I turned to Felicia who nodded, "this is enough. Have your assistant escort us to the bank to deposit the money and we can conclude our business," I summoned the spear form his grasp and shrunk it back down.

"Do you not trust me to complete the deal?" the Brooker asked, sounding offended.

"I only trust a few people, all of which stand behind me," I motioned to my crew, "no offences."

"No, no, I understand, a cautious man is one that cannot be cheated," the Brooker nodded, "very well. Kortta!"

The back door opened up and a tall red skinned alien walked out. She wore a silver dress that wrapped around her like a candy bar with a bust that was large enough to draw even Logan's eye and a skirt that ended just above her mid thigh.

She had dark copper hair pulled up in a bun with loose strands coming down her sides to frame her face. She placed her hands on her hips and struck a pose, "yes Master Brooker?"

"Please escort our guests to the Bank of Galactic Union," the man said as he reached around his counter and pulled out a metal bag that he tossed to the woman, "transfer for him seven hundred and fifty million units and bring back the itsm currently in his possession. I trust you can manage that?"

"Of course, I am your retrieval specialist, am I not?" the woman smiled before turning to me and batting her eyelashes, "please, sir, follow me."

She approached me, her hips swing almost comically as she did. Felicia stepped between her and me and crossed her arms with a raised eyebrow, "no."

"Excuse-"

"-No."

"I was just-"

"-No."

"...well then, please, follow me," the woman smiled, pretending as if she hadn't just been put in her place, motioning us to follow her outside.

"I like it when your territorial," I leaned in and whispered into Felicia's ear.

"Just because I'm more open than I was doesn't mean every whore on the street gets a shot at you," Felicia whispered back, playfulling biting my ear.

We walked out of the Brooker's office and followed Kortta. She looked back and smiled, "is this your first time on Xandar?"

"Oh you bet it is beautiful," Johnny quickly responded as he took the woman's hand in his, kissing her knuckles, "and may I say, you are the single most beautiful thing I have ever seen in the colour red. And yes, I do include the stars when I say that."

"Well aren't you sweet," the woman smiled politely, "tell me, do your parents know you're here?" I flet how Johnny looked, broken. The rejection was hard and not at all subtle. Logan didn't hold back his laughter, while Jessica snorted into her arm. The rest however felt pity for the boy.

"So Kortta, this Bank of Galactic Union, what can you tell us about it?" I tried to push the conversation ahead.

"A lot," she smiled, clearly when it came to the guy with the money her attitude on age changed, "it is one of the most outreaching banking companies in the galaxy. One can find a terminal for it's services almost anywhere in the galaxy, well...anywhere that isn't a horrible shit pile."

"I see...and the security?"

"There hasn't been a successful bank robbery in over fifty hundred years," she said, "my own grandfather used to work there, branch manager of a galaxy. Well off man, passed a few years ago."

"I'm sorry for your lose," Tandy chirped.

"Thanks," the woman codly replied.

I connected all of us telepathically, "what a bitch."

"Totally."

"No question."

"Has a nice ass though."

"Johnny!" Sue cried out.

"It wasn't me! But...it is true."

"It was me," Logan called out. We all automatically turned to the man, "you like what you like."

"Yeah well, maybe if she wasn't such a bitch," Johnny huffed.

"You're just sad she flat out rejected you, kiddy," Scott teased.

"Shut up Summers," Johnny hissed.

"You need to know how to talk to women kid," Logan replied, "you can't just be so blunt."

"Oh please, what do you know you walking keg?"

Logan smirked, he then spoke out, "so, Kortta, is there a place to get a drink around here?"

"Several," she replied shortly, "I would suggest the Nest, it caters to those of your...standard," she replied dressing Logan down.

"I see, and where do specimens of your standard frequent?"

"Somewhere you would find unsuiting."

"Heaven?"

The woman chuckled, "close enough."

"Tell me something, have you ever actually been with a real man? Or does picking on little boys keep you satisfied."

"I assure you..."

"Logan."

"Logan, I assure you, I can satisfy myself very well."

"I beg to differ."

"Is that a challenge?"

"A promise."

"A tall order for a man of your stature."

"I won't seem that tall once you're lying on your back."

"Hm, I would honestly like to see you try."

"Succeed, I don't try, I succeed."

"Did Logan just use a Star War dialogue to pick up a hot alien chick?" Johnny whispered.

"Yup," I replied back.

They flirted a bit more, Kortta seemed to be pleased with Logan's more straightforward words. The rest of us just sat back and watched, it was honestly amusing to see him work it out. I had no doubt given more time he would have her panting on his bed while he drank from his mug of ale.

But alas, the flirting was cut short as we quickly approached a large plaza ground with a fountain in the middle, with a giant golden building standing before us.

The words 'Trusted Above All Else' were plastered over the entrance wall. We walked in and Kortta took the lead, demanding to see the manager and greeting said man like an old friend.

It took her ten minutes to set me up an account. The manager and I had a long conversation about my personal profile and the various passwords and key elements to my bank account I would have to remember, but it was a quick process, and just in case, I had Sexy record everything via my suit.

"And here you are," the manager replied as he handed my a golden box, "this is your bank details. The box it's stored in cannot be hacked or broken into, it is locked into your particular signature. If you have any issues, please, come here or any of our branches for help."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," I put the box away and turned to Kortta who smiled, "thank you, that was quicker than I thought."

"Well, it depends on the kinds of people you know, nepotism is a powerful thing," she smiled, holding out her hand, "and now, the item?"

I took out the bronze cylinder and handed it over. She checked it over before sealing it inside the bag the Brooker gave to her, transfering the credits using a handheld device that resembled a woman's makeup compact.

I held out the golden box and a small hologram appeared, displaying my bank unit on it, a sweet seven hundred and fifty million.

"Pleasure doing business with you," she smiled, turning her eyes to Logan, "and it was...nice to see you as well."

"Are you doing anything tonight?" Logan asked, "because as I see it, we have money to burn and a night on the town is just the way to go about."

"Logan," I was about to protest, only for the man to glare at me. I sighed, "fine. Give me a minute and I'll set up branch accounts for you all...ah Kortta, could you-"

"-Oh, I'm sorry, but seeing as our business has been concluded I really must return to my Master with his prize," she smiled, "I'm sure you understand."

"Yeah...sure..." without a word she turned and left, leaving us behind.

"What a bitch," Felicia whistled.

"Damn right," Wanda snorted.

"Kitten..." I turned to Felicia.

"What?" I held my hand out. Felicia sighed, handing over the compact device Kortta was holding, pouting while she didn, "just wanted to fool around..."

"You should be more careful Cat," Logan growled as he snatched the device, "sneak your fingers into the wrong pocket and even we won't be able to help you," he walked away.

"Where are you going?!" Johnny cried out.

"To return this," Logan replied.

"He's so going to try and hit that," Jessica whispered.

"You can smell it took huh?" I replied, to which she nodded. The lust was almost toxic.

It took another half an hour for me to set up branch accounts for each member of my crew, including Bill. I deposited a million into their accounts, keeping a limit on the expenditure, the only exception being Sue, to whom I granted full access.

"This is so boring!" Johny cried out as we finally walked out of the bank, "we're on an alien planet and we spent all that time in a bank! Who ever goes to the bank?!"

"Well what do we propose we do fire butt?" Wanda snorted, "this isn't Earth, we need to be more careful."

"I know, but come on! This is another planet! Surely we can do something awesome!" Johnny cried out.

They all turned to me, I shrugged, "I need a day or two to figure out what our next move is. And Bill will need a ship for his own trip. We could spend the day here."

"Yes! Alien clubs here I come!" Johnny cried out in joy, much to our annoyance.

But as we walked back into the open fountain, I looked over and got the surprise. A walking tree leaning over the fountain drinking from it, and next to it a racoon on its hind legs, dressed in a yellow suit, holding a scanner up with a gun strapped to its back. Rocket and Groot.

"Hey, check those two out," Tandy caught on, drawing everyone's attention to the two odd balls.

"Is that a freaking racoon?" Rogue couldn't help but ask, "how did- how is that-how?"

"Is that a walking tree?" Felicia whispered.

"Dude, this planet is so weird," Johnny whispered.

I was about to reply when I looked at the device Rocket was using, because it reminded me a lot of my first version of the SA. He was using it to scan faces in the crowd, and to my great surprise, one of them...I recognized.

I shot my head up to the raised platform up above, and there chatting up a girl young enough to be his daughter. Dressed in grey robes with some kind of mechanism on his neck, was the Marvel Cinematic easter egg himself, Stan Lee.

"No fucking way..." I whispered.

"Yea, I know, a talking racoon!" Felicia cried out.

"No, not that, I," I turned dot my crew, "look, I have to do something right now, okay? I'll be back, I'll find out. If anything happens, use your communicator to call me," I turned and ran.

"Peter!" Felicia cried out as she began to chase me, I ignored her though, looking out for Stan Lee. I jumped onto the platform, much to the people's shock. I looked around and saw the woman the old man was talking to.

"Excuse me, miss!" I called out.

"Oh my!" she squealed in surprise, "c-can I help you?"

"That man you were talking too, old guy with glasses, where did he go?' I asked frantically, Felicia catching up to me by this point.

"Oh...he went that way," she pointed down the platform to a crowded street. I looked and immediately spotted the white head of hair he sprouted.

"Got you," I charged.

"Peter! What's going on?!" she asked.

"No time to explain!" I replied, "it's important!"

The biggest mystery in the Marvel universe, what role did Stan Lee play? Is he a Watcher like Guardians of the Galaxy 2 implied? Was the One above all? I don't know but...there has to be something he can tell me in regards to...just who I am.

I was thrown in the body of his greatest creation, I lived as Peter Parker and all my life I had the question: why me?

And I think today I can get my answer.

I followed his head of hair into an alleyway, I charged in and to my shock, the one lane passage was devoid of all life.

I looked around in disbelief, he had just...vanished. Into thin air and...how?

"Peter?" Felicia asked as she managed to catch up, "what happened?"

"There was a guy," I looked around the alley, no way out, one long stretch to a dead end, "he….he resembled someone I knew on Earth and he just….vanished."

"Someone from Earth? You think he's human?"

"I….I don't know," I replied, turning back to her, looking lost.

"Alright...how about I double back and make sure we didn't lose him in the crowd?" Felicia offered.

"You don't have to do that Kitten."

"Tiger, it's not a problem," she smiled, "I'll be back before you know it." She went back into the crowd and disappeared. I sighed, I knew it was pointless, she wouldn't find him.

"That is one hell of a girl you got there kiddo."

My eyes winded, I turned around and jumped back in shock. He stood there with a smile, right there, like his had appeared out of thin air.

"D-Do you know who I am?" I asked the obvious question.

The old man chuckled, "well, I suppose I do. $%#$ right? Good name, kind of long though. Sanskrit isn't it?"

"Y-You know me," I whispered, "who are you? What are you? You aren't Stan Lee...are you?"

"Oh no, I just use the man's form," the figure held his hands out with a kind smile, "his actions created me after all, the least I can do if honour my creator."

"You...you're...the One-Above-All?" I whispered.

"Hm...I suppose in the 616 world that would be my title, in this world though I just call myself the Cameo, fitting don't you think?" the thing wearing Stan Lee's face chuckled.

"Why am I here?" I snapped.

He stopped laughing, "pardon?"

"Why am I here?" I repeated myself, "this body, this...this life. Why?"

"Well...I can't answer that."

"Why not?"

"Because I wasn't the one who brought you here," he replied.

"Who did?"

"That would be telling," he smiled.

"So tell me!"

"I can't," he replied.

"Why not?!"

"Because if I did, you would die," the Creator shrugged.

I felt a cold sweet come over me, "w-what?"

"The thing that did this to you...it finds it amusing. That's why it's blocking you from telling others the truth. If I tell you who, then, knowing it as well as I do, it'll probably throw a hissy fit and destroy this universe out of spite."

Who? Who could be that fucking insane?! The Beyonder?! Eternity?! A celestial, it has to be. But which one?! And….should I even try to figure out? If-if this is supposed to be a game for it, would breaking the rules end up with everyone I love dead?

"You know kid...I didn't approve of his plan, but I have to say, it's amazing seeing you work," the Cameo's words broke through my thoughts. He smiled, "you know, I always loved Stan Lee's view on life...everyone was a hero, no matter the size of their deed. To care for others, that alone made one a hero...and you, I have to say that you've stepped up time and time again."

"But I..."

"Failed?"

"Yes...so many times, and the real Peter Parker, if he saw what I did to his life-"

"Oh kiddo, who cares?" the Cameo chuckled, "the real Peter Parker...there's no such thing. You are this universes only Peter Parker, no one else...stop worrying about these things kid, you can't let it get you down."

He placed his hand on my shoulder and smiled, "live your life. Go get your girl back and save the universe. Leave the big things to me, the one who did this to you won't interfere, it's not in their game plan. They will leave you alone until everything's over...so live your life kiddo. Be happy, be good, be Spider-man...and remember, with great power comes an even greater responsibility."

I looked at the face of Stan Lee, and for the first time, the little thought in the back of my head which wondered, 'what if Peter Parker came back' died. Right here, right now...this was my life...and I could make it whatever I wanted it to be.

Suddenly my coms came alive, "Peter!" Sue called out.

I blinked, tapping it, "Sue? What happened?"

"It's Johnny! He got himself into a fight with that Racoon and tree we saw earlier!"

"Oh for the love of God!" I turned to said deity and to my utter shock, he was gone, "what the hell..."

"Tiger?" Felicia called out as she rounded the corner, "Johnny' in trouble."

I looked back at the empty alley and sighed, "right, let's go." We ran out, going back to the fountain where we last saw the crew. But as we ran I couldn't help remember what the thing wearing Stan Lee's face said...I was good...a good hero. Worthy of the title.

I knew it already, but having God itself say so...well, it gave one hell of an ego boost

We ran back to the plaza just in time to see everything go to shit. Peter Quill, Gamora, Groot, Rocket and Johnny were fighting like they had something to prove. I saw Quill being thrown into a bag by Groot, to which Gamora began attacking the walking tree while Rocket dog Johnny's fireballs firing back at him.

I spotted Sue and my crew and ran over, "what the hell happened?!"

"Well, that green lady first started to attack that blonde dude, and then the racoon and the tree got involved as well, and then Johnny decided to try and help and well..." Tandy explained, looking every bit as confused as I felt.

"Oh no, this is just perfect, just what we needed!" I cried, this was the begining to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Meaning, I looked around and sure enough, I could see the silver orb containing the Infinity stone of Power being passed around Gamora and Peter Quill like hotcakes.

I could jump in and take it away, but if I did that then...the Guardians of the Galaxy would never be created. I cannot interfere. Neither can Johnny.

"Alright, I'll get Johnny, you all stay back!" I called out, jumping through the air and landing on the plaza ground.

Gamora had her sword out and was chopping Groot's hands off his body. Rocket was firing energy blasts out of his canon, trying to hit Johnny, who was flying overhead, flying fireballs at the trash panda. And Quill, well he was struggling to get out of the sack Groot threw him into.

"Enough!" I cried out, "Johnny get down here right now!"

"Pete! They were trying to kidnap a guy!" Johnny protested.

"He's a wanted man! Meaning his ass is mine!" Rocket roared firing a shot at me.

I growled and summoned a shield of energy around myself, "will you stop firing at me you stupid racoon!"

"Don't call me a racoon!"

"ARGH!" Gamora cried, chipping both of Groot's arms before running towards Quill.

"Stop!" I cried out, she ignored me and opened the bag, only to come face to face with Quill's blaster, firing a stun shot point blank at her face.

"GRA!" she began to groan in pain, twitching on the ground as she was electrocuted. Quill then got to his feet and began to run away, kicking the bag away.

"I got you!" Rocket turned and fired a blast, hitting Quill in the back, shocking him to the ground.

"Not cool man!" Johnny yelled back as he came down ready to blast the racoon. I was just about to step in, when suddenly several blasts of golden energy came down upon us form the sky, levitating everyone into the air, including me.

I looked around and found the entire plaza surrounded by Nova corp ships. One even aimed a gun at me, "Peter Parker of Terra, stand down and you will face a minimum prison sentence."

I clicked my teeth, this cannot be happening. I raised my hands in surrender and watched several Nova officers approach us, "hey man I was literally trying to stop them!"

"There's a strict no interference law buddy," one of them explained, "it doesn't matter if you only tried to stop them, that makes you involved, which makes you an accomplice."

"What?! That's bullshit!" I cried out.

"That's Nova law," the officer replied, "why else do you think no one else tried to step in?"

I turned ot Felicia and Sue, sending a mental probe, "use my bank account to get a flat in the city and stay put. I'll get Johnny out of this and bring him back. Until then, stay safe and don't get in trouble!"

"Peter, be safe," Sue replied back.

"Bullshit! You can break free of this! Stop hiding!" Felicia cried out.

"If I do they'll just hunt me down, all of us down," I replied, "plus...I have a plan. There's something I need to get, a lead on how to take the Pheonix down for good. Johnny and I will get out, and when we do I'll send word to you here." The Power stone, I got a way to get it without it costing the Guardians to be formed.

Felicia looked hesitant, but slowly agreed, "fine...but the moment you're free you call us, understand?"

"Understand. I love you," I cut the connection and turned to Johnny, who's powers had been extinguished by the Nova corps members who dosed him with some kind of flame retardant. "Just so you know, I'm so going to kick your ass."

On Earth:

On a hospital bed on a hidden base, a man with a sacred face slept. He had been like this for half a year, ever since an action of kindness left him...broken.

Hie eyelids twitched slowly. His eyes opened, he looked out expecting to find his family, waiting to greet him. Instead, all he found was an empty hospital room.

Reed Richards felt anger unlike ever before. Where were they? Where was Sue? Johnny? Ben? Had they left him? Had...Peter….he probably took them. He took Ben, took Sue, took Johnny.

Reed was smarter than him, why? Why did they pick Peter over him? Why did they leave him? No...no he was overreacting. They were probably just in their own homes. He didn't know how long he had been asleep, it was unreasonable for him to expect them to be waiting for him.

No...he was overreacting. Ben didn't leave him, he left to find a cure...because Reed was too stupid to find one himself. And Johnny...he and Reed never got along anyway. And Sue...she would never be interested in a child like Peter anyway.

Peter Parker was pointless in Reed's mind, a pointless boy with a pointless life. What mattered was his life and how he chose to live it...yes...when he got better, that was the first thing he was going to do. Get his family back. Get them all back.

No one would stop him.

NY:

Gwen Stacy wasn't someone who could appreciate food. It was odd to her, food was just...well, food. Sure they had different flavours and such, but it was just that, food.

But now? Now she could appreciate eating, maybe not the food, but definitely the company.

Curled up on her living room sofa she browsed through the channels, "hurry up! I'm starving over here!"

"Coming honey," her father called out. The man came out of the kitchen holding a pot full of the Stacy family meatball special, "so, how was work?"

Gwen shrugged, "you know how it is, long and boring."

"Oh, I know," he smiled, placing the pot down on the living room table, plopped down next to his daughter, "been a busy day for me too."

"Spider-woman?" Gwen smiled.

The captain sighed, "unfortunately...she's gotten better of late, but she's still too raw...she still makes mistakes. We had a new gang suddenly come out, calling themselves 'the Vipers'. I swear, if it was Parker still under that mask the crooks would be too scared to pop out their heads."

"Yeah well, when you keep comparing her to Peter freaking Parker, anyone wouldn't match up," Gwen snapped back.

"Taking it a littler personal there honey."

"Sorry...it's just...it seems like she's trying you know. Comparing her to Peter Parker isn't really fair. I mean, didn't he make mistakes too?"

"Hm...I suppose your right," George smiled as he wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulder and pulled her close, "so, what else is new? When am I finally going meet this new boy I see on your social feed?"

"Dad!" Gwen cried out, "have you been stalking me again?!"

"Honey, you can't stalk your own kid," the captain chuckled as he grabbed the remote and began surfing through the channels.

"I...I'm going to have to look into that."

"Well if you do, be sure to-" the man stopped, his eyes going wide as the NEWS came on. Gwen turned to see what gave her father such a surprise, and found herself gasping in shock.

HYDRA pardoned? After year long investigation, no proof of crime has been found! SHIELD head of operations Nick Fury was not available for comment.

"In a shocking announcement the White House has announced that the terrorist Organization, HYDRA, has been cleared of all charges laid against it by terrorist known as Spider-man. It's being reported that due to a lack of evidence, due to most of it being ruled circumstantial by the Supreme Court, those listed as members of HYDRA have been pardoned from any wrongdoing," the report said.

The news then cut to a man dressed in a suit, crying his eyes out, "when I was labeled as an agent of HYDRA it felt like my life was over. No one treated me the same. I'm not a member of HYDRA, who says so? Some teenage kid who blew up a government building? I-I just want things to go back to the way things were."

"When asked for comment the president said that he would be entacting a special council to decide the fate of the free agents that had been accused of being HYDRA. Only time will tell as to what the result of said action will be."

"What is going on?" Gwen couldn't help but ask. Peter hadn't even been gone a week, and it felt as if the bad guys somehow knew.