Chapter 1-Her monologue.

I turned around, when I felt the presence of someone on the side. Although it is not too obvious and somewhat remote, even with a few meters, are disturbing my composure. Furthermore, while I was enjoying the cozy atmosphere of the sea views.

Maybe Najmi came on purpose, to tease me maybe.

Ahh ..it was him. I wanted to reprimand him, but decided stay.

His appearance made me pause for a moment, then, I turned my attention to the other with a blank mind. Before, these eyes looked at him again with a question mark. He smiled, looking at me. This feeling, awkward. I am not to friendly to talk with the opposite sex.

If Najmi, he is one that I consider comfortable and easy to talk to because of his good attitude and good conversation. If according to the perspective, with it with my personality. I like to be alone.

Silent-No sound between us and no chatter was heard. Maybe, we are the lonely's people, who're enjoying the panorama of the beautiful painting. Beautiful sketches with color refraction, make this soul admire it full of wisdom.

Remind me of an old story that happened. If I turn the memory back, I can say it was a beautiful memory that turned out to be bad. However, everything is a thing of the past. I myself smiled, when the memory came back. A raw age from which no one can escape. But, I don't blame him or anyone.

At the very least, it's a memory now.

"Hey .." I glanced at him, seeing him still being here, I call it with a short call after my smile had subsided. He and I, just stood watching the sea breeze begin to move into dusk. No need for me to tell you, the beauty is already known. This thought of mine, is already covered in my conversation with him.

I have been hiding everything that is implied in my heart for a long time. If buried, there is no end.

His eyes glanced at me. I smiled casually, even though I had never done it before. Probably, because I was so embarrassed that my face turned into annoying face. Aaahhh ... that was before.

This breath, I sighed slowly. My eyes, I threw in the evening sky. "Sorry ..." I said shortly in English Latin.

His face, clearly surprised by my words.

Yes, I know he's confused. Why not, no wind no storm. I suddenly said the word 'Sorry' to her. I laughed. "I don't know, if you still remember." I said, trying to get rid of the awkward feeling between me and him. After all, I need to explain to him why I apologized to him.

He waited for my words, without saying a word.

I smiled again, glancing spontaneously. Age, really describes a person's personality and wisdom. Seems mature, his behavior is not like before. In accordance with the increase in age between us. If you want to think about age. It can be said that almost all the friends from our year, already have their own partner and no less, who have more than one child.

A simple sign, stating we are already in the middle stages of starting to be traced with a new generation. Generations of our descendants.

"I feel grateful, when you reject my confession first." i said it without shame. Old memories, which I had long set aside. Making those memories caming back like screen writer.

It was happen at the meeting that night, because of the voice of him chanting zikir on the night of the Rabbani Personality Ceremony. Because of his voice, my heart was touched. It look likes i could can see the goodness in his personality until his voice seemed to be ringing in the ears. Because it....i want to recognize it.

Because of that too, I dared to approach him even just as a friend, because his voice seemed to give a good impression of his personality. He made me curious.

Because of that… it was me who literally want to recognized who he was and that made me shocked and angry after he tricked me with his words. I lost all my respect, and even my admiration faded. I was intentionally injured.

Because of that too, I started hating him which in fact. My heart ached with his words.

And, 'because of that' .. , I still remember. What a bad attitude he have. I forgot, that he was also the same human being as me. Not perfect. Fortunately, he rejected my confession.

His eyebrows raised slightly, as if the memory was beginning to greet his memory. He started, nodding slowly. His lips, smiled.

"Me too." the word is short. "I shouldn't say that." he continued.

I smiled. "Youth time. Still not mature to begin." I added, without looking at him. Although the awkwardness diminishes. I'm still embarrassed. But, honestly I say. This heart, relieved to be able to express it again. Honestly, I feel grateful for that too.

"So..I hope, there is no revenge between us." I said, stealing a look at him with the tip of my eye. Watching his face reacted to my words.

"Not." He shook his head. "I don't think so, you still remember." he said. His breath, sounding rough rising in his respiratory cavity.

"Hmm..how could i forget about it. I really remember it just like it happen before. Because, that's the most cruel reject I've ever heard if you want to compare with others." My laughter, giggle at the end of the talk. Akwards.

His face, changed a little. Lost a little shape of the baby face, when the age reached thirty. The difference, then and now really make it look like a different. My heart sniffed the word.

"Sorry." he said shortly. The intonation is different.

"It's okay. It's an old thing. But, I really want to thanks and apologize to you for rejecting my statement." I reply. I looked at him, with a small nod. My heart seems like is better, from the beginning. His face, difficult to read.

He nodded, slowly.

"That's why you haven't been married until now?" he asked, suddenly. Maybe he wanted to know.

At first I was a bit startled by the questions asked. Then, I myself laughed a little by shaking my head stating to said 'no'. "No ... nothing to do. For now, I'm comfortable like this? !!" I said back. "You too ?? Why don't you get married? Your crush was a single right now.." I also asked. Throwing him the same question. Maybe, my feeling on him was never have. Never existed, making it easy for me to adjust.

"My crush ..." He asked me with a blank face. Then, he shifted, following my rhythm.

Me and him are getting comfortable. I leaned against the stone fort and pointed at the other group of my friends, who were gathering. From a distance, I could see Syafiqah carrying Hanim's little baby. Her demeanor, like her own daughter.

As far as I know from old stories, he once had a heart for my classmate, Syafikah. If you want to see a goddess, it's Syafikah herself. Too different from my self -deprecating self.

Appropriate, if he has a heart for a more suitable candidate. If I were in his place. I will also do the same thing.

"Hurry, before your crush is taken by someone else. Or, do you want me to be a cupid for you two ??" I said. The more lively I speak, . I turned my eyes to him. Waiting for his reaction. He looked away.

"She's not my crush." his voice. Octave his tone, slowly.

I nodded slightly. My reaction was slow, and slowly I began to feel all wrong, when I wronged people. Both my cheeks, I puffed while nodding understanding. The atmosphere between me, became awkward again. I started to feel uncomfortable when, he didn't talk or say anything. It's the wrong topic, to gamble with. The awkward feeling between us, began to envelop us again. I'm starting to know, he's not good at joking. Not like Najmi. Ahh, Najmi is always naughty. There were only things he wished he would joke with me.

"Mm..i think, i need to go now." The portable smart watch, which is on my wrist, makes me available for the incoming prayer time. "Azan has entered." I added, as I circulated. Feeling relieved, when something could be a reason for me to leave.

He nodded, just. I kept passing.

I kept arranging the steps to the homestay room. Syafikah and Hasliza, are already in the rest room. I lay down on the bed after, the hijab was removed from my head. I turned to Hasliza.

My friend were buzy with a cell phone in her hand. I turned to Shafiqah. My lips parted with a smile. It's beautiful, God's creation. I said, looking at Shafiqah's face. Gentle and soothing to the soul.

"What are you looking at. From earlier, grinning .." Poked Hasliza, on my right shoulder.

"This beautiful girl is never old, becoming one too. Hahahah !! It's very funny now." i teased Syafikah. Shafiqah laughed softly. The prayer cloth (Telekung) folded in a bag, were taken out.

"Stop it. Don't gossip. Go and pray." Shafiqah's direction is like a mother's.

"I'm sorry." Hasliza replied, a wide smile. I woke up from bed. Hasliza tilted her body to the side, giving room for me to pass. I need to pray first!

After ablution. I'm waiting at the end of the bed. The face and reaction of the person who is difficult to read, made my own heart frown. Not to Syafikah, the crush she likes? If not Shafiqah, who? I muttered to myself.

Continuing..