SMALL STORY
(His Divine Holiness Bhagavan Sri Nithyananda Paramashivam has delivered almost 20,000 hours of recorded talks till date. As part of the talks, He shares simple small stories that give powerful A cognitive shifts to the listener. Following is one such story.)
Life is physical. Laws are mental. All your ideas, all your do's and don'ts, all your morality, all your 'right or wrong' are given to you by society. Rules are needed to co-existpeacefully with a common understanding of the way certain things are. But beyond that, one's own intelligence needs to be awakened so that life may be lived to its optimum.
The way out of rules – escape or revenge
By your very nature you are searching for freedom. When some morality is taught to you as a rule, either you try to get around it or if you can't, you take revenge on the people who imposed the rule on you. Imposed morality always causes you to be or feel revengeful. You may not be obviously revengeful, but it will be there in you as a subtle thread. For example, people repeatedly tell me, 'My son is not taking care of me.' Be very clear that your son may be your foremost enemy because you have given him so many rules, so many regulations throughout his life.
Naturally, while one part of his mind will have respect for you, the other part will always harbor revenge towards you. Don't think this is something new that I am telling you or this has to do with your son alone. No! This is a basic fact in society. It is not spoken about because it is too much truth for people to bear! Which son or which father will agree if I told them this fact? This is a very deep-rooted truth that most people are blissfully oblivious of. It is my duty to draw your attention to such truths of life.
You are a Nithya Mukta – eternally free
Your entire struggle in life is nothing but the struggle for freedom. Even your search for money is the search for freedom. If you have more money, you have more choices or more freedom to choose a bigger house, a bigger car, more comforts etc. Your search for more choice is your search for freedom.
Whatever you may be searching for, whether it is relationships, wealth or titles, it is only the search for more freedom. The first thing a rule does is to put you in fear of violating it at any time. Even if you don't break the rule, you are left with a feeling of fear and guilt about it. When you are with this fear and guilt, you feel your freedom is curtailed. You start living in a dull and dead way because by your very nature you aspire for freedom.
By your very nature you are a nithya-mukta-eternally free person. You never want to be curtailed. You never want to be a slave of any rule. In order to be that way, you just need to bring in more awareness and follow the rules with the right understanding.
Guilt and responsibility
Many times you justify your guilt by labeling it as responsibility. No! How does one differentiate between guilt and responsibility? If you get into a low feeling when you think about it, it is guilt. If you feel intensity and integrity, it is responsibility. This is the clear scale. If you are pulled to low energy at the thought of what you did, then it is guilt. But if you feel good about it, then it is responsibility. Falling into guilt is a clear way of escaping responsibility.
Once a man came to me complaining, 'I am suffering. I have fourteen children.' I asked him why he chose to have so many children. He replied, 'Why? God gave me!' The problem is, we do all that we want to do without taking responsibility for it. After doing it, we feel god made us do it! If we take up responsibility for every action, we will never land up in guilt or trouble.
All guilt related to extramarital affairs comes under this category of sheer lack of responsibility in behaviour. Be very clear that extramarital affairs clearly show disrespect to another being, your spouse. You have no right to disrespect another being. What is the meaning of the relationship of marriage? Let me explain. Man as such is centered on muladhara chakra or the lust energy center in the body, and woman is centered on the swadhishthana chakra or the fear energy center in the body. That is why man gives in to lust easily and woman gives in to fear easily.
If you see during the traditional vedic marriage ceremony, in front of the sacred fire considered to be a representation of god, the man promises to the woman, 'I shall give you security and release you from insecurity (fear).' The woman promises to the man, 'I shall give you love and free you from lust.' Both of them decide to liberate the other from their weaknesses. But what happens once the ceremony is over? Instead of freeing the other person of the weakness, each starts playing on the weakness of the other person. Knowing the other person's weakness should make one compassionate towards that person. Instead, the man exploits the woman's fear and the woman exploits the man's lust in many ways.mNot only that, when one indulges in extramarital affairs, one increases the insecurity for the spouse. When you disrespect the feelings of another person, you reduce the person to a mere commodity. If you see your husband or wife as a commodity, you will continue to play your game with them. If you see them as a being, you will realize how much they have contributed to your life.
When man faces insecurity, the woman should become a mother. When the woman becomes centered on fear, the man should become her father.
Responsibility for your choices
When something is told to you, if you take full responsibility of deciding whether it is right or wrong, you can avoid all guilt feelings. If you don't take responsibility for your decision, you will feel discontented whether you do the action or not. If you do as you are told, you will feel that you are being dominated, that you are not being assertive, that you are being exploited. If you don't do as you are told, you start feeling guilty that maybe it was the right thing to do.There is no need for this unnecessary dilemma . Just be simple. Respond intelligently. Take responsibility for doing whatever you are going to do. Then there is no question of guilt. If you are not going to do it, explain clearly to the person why you are not going to do it. When you explain, the other person may agree with you and may even be thankful to you for it. Or he may have stronger and better reasons than you to justify what he is saying, then you will be thankful to him for raising your intelligence.
In this way, you could use every opportunity, every moment in life to raise your intelligence, to raise your consciousness.