Chapter 4: A blue winter

"We need to talk," Wendy said as we lay together in the broad backseat of her car, pleasantly warm despite the chill night air outside. We were theoretically celebrating our first win of post-season play, but that would be too close to "normal" for Wendy, so I kept the thought to myself.

I rested my hands on her bare ass as she propped herself up with her elbows resting on my chest. Her face was inches from me and her eyes were serious.

"So talk," I said with a smile.

She stared at me for a second and then sighed. "Your damn cute green eyes make this hard. I like you too much for my own good."

"I like you too," I said. "What's hard about it?"

She flexed her internal muscles and I felt myself slip out of her. She laughed. "Nothing's too hard anymore, I guess." I laughed with her and gave her a kiss. Just as she started to respond, she stopped herself.

"Stop that. We really need to talk. I want you to know that I really do like you, and this isn't about you, it's about me."

Uh-oh.

She saw the change in my face and took a deep breath. "I'm not going to be back in school after Thanksgiving. I don't want you to think it's about you."

"Where are you going? Are you moving?"

She shook her head, bit her lip, and then dropped her head against my shoulder. I felt a shudder pass through her, almost a sob.

"I'm going to be in Bloomington, in the hospital," she managed to get out before I felt the tears drip on me.

I was at a loss. I stroked her back and hair and waited for her to calm down. "It's alright, Wendy. It will be alright," I kept repeating.

Eventually, she regained her composure. "I wanted to tell you tonight, since I have to start talking to teachers on Monday. I wanted you to hear it from me instead of your mother. It's the reason I can't let you be my boyfriend, even though I've thought of you that way for the past couple of weeks. This is serious."

I kissed her. "I can take serious," I said. "After all, I am abnormal as you know."

She forced a smile. "I'm scared, Paul. I try to make light of things, but I'm worried."

"What is it?" I asked.

"I've got a tumor in my chest. They're not exactly sure if it is cancer or a growth, but they want to find out and cut it out either way. I will be out until after the new year at least."

I kissed her gently and hugged her tightly. "Thanks for telling me. I'll come visit you, you know, but I can't bring flowers. That would be too normal," I whispered.

She kissed me and then said, "Like hell you will. I want you to promise not to visit until I come home."

"Sorry," I said. "Not going to happen. Do you really think I'm going to miss a chance to see you in one of those sexy hospital gowns? When else would I have such easy access to your delightful charms?"

She laughed and kissed me. "Thanks for being such a good friend, Paul."

We kissed again, and again and soon had a 'hard' discussion. While our first time had been fast and passionate, this time we made slow, gentle love, at least right up until Wendy's orgasm met mine. As I pushed her over the edge, she grabbed me tightly and bit my shoulder almost painfully. I was too close to be distracted and shot into her as her incredible pussy throbbed around me.

When we finally parted and started getting dressed, I saw the teeth marks and start of a hickey on my shoulder. I glanced at her and then back at my shoulder. She blushed, and smirked at me.

"I figured I should mark my territory while I still can," she said sheepishly.

Monday at practice, Wendy and I became more than friends when several teammates saw my shoulder in the shower. She had definitely marked me well.

"Shit, that fullback is killing us," Jared Peterson said as he dropped to the bench and grabbed a drink.

I had to agree with him. We were rotating every series, trying to keep fresh to handle the huge fullback who was just as effective carrying the ball as he was blocking. He seemed to be able to reliably pick up three yards every time he touched the ball.

It was fourteen to ten in their favor with seven minutes left in the game. Every minute was a struggle to contain their running game for the defense. Our pass option offense had kept us in the game, but if we could not stop them this drive, we were going to lose.

"Taylor!"

I hustled up to Coach J. "Yes, coach!"

"I want a weak side run blitz. Hit that son-of-a-gun in the backfield, and let him know we are in this game too! Got it?"

"Got it!" I sprinted to the defensive huddle as Simons came out. I told them the plan, and we lined up. As soon as the ball was snapped, I sped through the line. It looked like the fullback was running the other way, blocking for the halfback. I kicked up my speed before noticing the QB rolling away.

"Fake!" I heard and immediately adjusted my path. The quarterback rolled out in front of me and started sprinting for the sideline. I could clearly see the ball tucked in his arm. I zeroed in on him in a split second, and wrapped him up for a powerful tackle. It looked like a seven yard loss on the play as I headed back to the huddle.

"Good job, Taylor!" I accepted a couple of high-fives and then listened to the next play. I was blitzing again.

This time the play was toward my side of the field. The tight-end released his block on me as the running play developed. In a second I saw the fullback barreling down on me. His hands were up, getting ready to block me into next week. The halfback must have the ball. I tried to dodge the block, but suddenly found myself flying backward as he slammed into me. I landed poorly, knocking the breath out of me. As the whistle blew, I slowly rolled to my knees as I tried to get up. Finally, as I started to move toward the huddle, I saw Jared coming out to relieve me.

"Thanks, man," I managed to say as I trotted back to the sideline.

"You okay, Taylor?" Coach J asked.

"Yes, sir, just got the wind knocked out of me."

"Okay, catch your breath and listen up." He waved Simons closer to us. "Next third down, you and Simons are going in together. We're pulling a safety. Simons, I want you to line up there, but in, as if we're stacking linebackers in middle. Taylor, you've been able to beat the tight-end all night. Can you do it again?" I nodded.

"Good. You take the tight-end out and open a hole. Simons, you get the lead blocker. I don't know which of the backs it will be, but they have gone weak side every third down regardless of who is carrying the ball. Taylor, you release as soon as Simons is through and get the carrier. We need to stop this drive before they are in field goal range and get our offense back on the field to have a shot at winning. Got it?"

"Yes, Coach!" we replied.

Seconds later we were out in the defensive huddle.

"Weak side run blitz," Simon told them as we huddled up.

We lined up. The ball was snapped. I hit the tight-end and tied him up to the outside as Simons shot between the tackle and the tight-end. I release and looked up field. My legs started pumping as I saw Simons hit the half-back. That meant the fullback had the ball. Or the quarterback. I centered on the fullback and saw the ball tucked under his arm. I dipped and came up quickly.

It was like hitting a wall. I wrapped him up and kept my legs pumping as he struggled to bowl over me and I tried to pull him down. He was so strong! I felt his momentum turning us around. If he got past me, he might break lose. Desperate, I got a foot on top of his foot and just pulled back as hard as I could.

What took a blink of an eye, felt like a full minute. Slowly, to me, our momentum shifted. We tipped. Speed picked up as we tumbled down and two hundred and eight pounds of fullback slammed me into the ground. For the second time that night, the breath was forced out of me. This time, no matter what I tried to do, I could not get my lungs to expand and draw in air. My vision swam as I heard the ref's whistle ending the play. Then darkness took me.

I woke to the noxious smell of ammonia in my nose and jerked my head away trying to avoid the odor.

"Take it easy, Taylor," I heard the someone say. My eyes watered and I tried to see what was going on. A doctor I did not recognize and Coach J were beside me. "Easy," he said again and held me down as I tried to rise. "You got knocked out. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two." It was still painful to breathe, but my surroundings were coming back to me.

"Good. Let's sit you up." He held my shoulder as I did.

"Dizzy?"

"No, it's just hard to catch my breath."

"Okay, let's get you on your feet." Coach J helped me up with a strong arm under my shoulder. The doctor took my other arm. I stood on shaky legs as the crowd started clapping. I let them guide me to the sideline and heard the ref's whistle get the game going again.

"What happened?" I finally managed to ask. "Did we stop them?"

"Loss of two on the play, Taylor. Good job. Do what the Doc tells you. You're done for the night."

I moved to the bench with the doctor at my side and sat down heavily.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a train. I'm having a hard time catching my breath," I admitted.

He frowned at me and then helped me take off my jersey and shoulder pads. He lifted the t-shirt I wore beneath the pads and then winced. "That's got to be painful, he said as he examined the bruise already forming. "You might have a cracked rib or two, son." He said as he probed the area none too gently.

Finally, he sat back. "Nothing's out of place, but I'm pretty sure you've got a couple of cracked ribs. You're done being a linebacker for the season, I'd say."

I heard a groan from the stands and saw our punting team head out on the field.

"I think we might be done playing football as a team, as well."

"Well, let's get you taped up so you aren't too sore tonight. You'll want to go see your doctor tomorrow." He opened a large first aid kit beside the bench and pulled out some cotton gauze and tape.

I had never had a broken rib before. I don't recommend it. Once I was taped tightly, it was still hard to breath, and breathing deeply is impossible, but it was better than it had been before I was taped up. The doctor helped me get my jersey back on just as the final whistle blew.

The score was still fourteen-ten. Our season was over. I managed to join the line to shake hands with the winning team and was pleased when I met the fullback that had plowed me over. "Good tackle, kid. I can't believe you're a freshman," he said as he shook my hand. "Sorry you got hurt," he added.

"Thanks. Good game and good luck at state." I thought I should be angry at him, but it was clear he was just playing as hard as he could; it wasn't personal. While I hurt from the hit and the loss, I couldn't really be mad at him for playing well.

Wendy joined me from the sidelines with worry in her eyes.

"Hey Wendy," I said sheepishly hoping she would not hug me.

"You clumsy oaf, are you alright?"

"Cracked ribs most likely. I'd really appreciate it if you did not try to hug me to see if they are feeling better." She smiled and grabbed the shoulders of my jersey.

"Then I suggest you bend gently and give me a kiss. I was worried about you while you were lying out there."

I bent and kissed her on the lips. I wanted more. "Have you seen my girlfriend, Abby?"

She looked at me. "Abby?"

"Abby Normal. She's my kind of girl and doesn't worry much when I get a little roughed up," I said with a grin.

Wendy punched my arm, and then hugged it. "I'm glad your head was too thick to be hurt."

"Thanks." I gave her another quick kiss and then we headed to the bench to get the rest of my gear. The football season was over. It was time to move on with other things.

The next week was short. We only had school two days because of Thanksgiving. Wendy was quiet and withdrawn, despite my best abnormal puns and jokes. I could tell she was worried. Monday night, after dinner, I asked my mother what I should do.

"Paul, Wendy has a pretty serious situation facing her. I don't know how I would react in her shoes. I'm guessing that she has not told a lot of her friends. When you're sick, well, some people can be unintentionally cruel and treat you like whatever is wrong is catching. I'm sure she is afraid of that reaction."

"In the four years she has been in my class, I've never seen her with really close friends. She is friendly with everyone, but honestly, I've seen her hang out with you more than any other boy or girl outside a sports activity."

"I think that should tell you how much she values your friendship. If I were you, I'd just keep being her friend."

I thought about it a bit as we finished cleaning up the kitchen from dinner.

"Mom, do you think you could take me to the hospital on Saturday? I'd like to visit a friend who's sick."

My Mom smiled at me and gave me a hug. "Of course I can, Paul."

The next day at lunch I managed to corner Wendy in the cafeteria. She hadn't really avoided me, but she had been harder to find then usual.

"Hey, Abby, how are you doing today," I asked with a grin.

She punched me, forgetting about my ribs until she saw me wince in pain. "Oh, Paul, I'm sorry. I forgot."

I waved it away. "It's okay. You'll just have to kiss it better," I said with a leer. She smiled at me.

"I think I'd like to kiss a lot more than your ribs."

"Got any plans after school?" I asked.

"Just hanging out with a friend, I think."

"Cool. Can I come along?"

She threatened to punch me again. "You had better. This strange guy has been torturing me with bad jokes and puns. I think you should scare him off with your abnormal size."

"I look forward to it, ma'am. I'll see you after classes." Before she could avoid it, I darted in and kissed her. She had a smile when I pulled back. "See you then, you cradle robber."

We pulled out of the parking lot and cruised around town. I could tell Wendy was thinking again, which was not always a good thing for her moods.

"What's up, buttercup?" I asked after ten minutes of silence.

She looked and me and winked. "It's a surprise."

A few minutes later, she pulled into a driveway of a nice looking house in a newer subdivision of town. She parked the car.

"What's this?" I asked as we got out and walked to the door.

"I told you it was a surprise."

She opened the front door and ushered me into the front hallway. I could hear someone in the kitchen.

"Mom, I've got company," Wendy called. I was surprised. In the weeks I had known her, we had never come to her house. A few minutes later, I was face to face with an older, plumper version of Wendy. "Mom, this is Paul Taylor. Paul, this is my mother, Linda Stenzel. Mom, Paul's my boyfriend."

Knock me over with a feather.

"Paul, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please, come into the kitchen. I'm making dinner. Would you like to stay?"

I glanced at Wendy who nodded.

"Of course, if you have enough," I said.

"Oh, we have plenty. Come in, come in."

We followed her back to the kitchen and sat at the counter as she returned to cutting up vegetables. Mrs. Stenzel insisted that I call my Mom and let her know where I was. I did as I was told as Wendy joined her mother behind the counter to help.

"Wendy," her mother said. "Why is this the first time we're meeting Paul? I recognize his name. You've been seeing him since the game against Flanagan haven't you?" Flanagan was the first game I played with the Varsity.

Wendy looked at her mother. "How did you know?"

"You think your mother can't tell when you find someone special?" I blushed. I noticed Wendy was as well. "I was happy, but a little sad you didn't want to bring him over sooner. Your father will be thrilled as well."

Meeting the father. Uh-oh.

I was saved by further dark thoughts by the sound of the garage door opening. A moment later, another commotion came storming through the door.

"We won the scrimmage," a young boy shouted as he burst into the room. As soon as he saw me, he stopped and dropped a gear bag at his feet. "You're Paul Taylor. You were the first freshman to score while playing varsity. I'm going to be the second!"

I laughed and looked at Wendy and her Mom who were staring at the young man in shock. Wendy finally shook her head. "Paul, this is my little brother, Allen. He obviously knows who you are."

I held out my hand to shake his and then looked up to see Wendy's father come in. He was a big man, at least six-three. Next to his wife's five-three, and his son's four foot something height, he looked like a giant.

"And I'm Allen Sr." He said as he extended his hand. "You can call me Mr. Stenzel," he said with a smile.

"Yes, sir," I said as I shook his hand.

He laughed and then kissed his wife and daughter on the cheek. "Do I need to fetch the shotgun, Wendy? If you're bringing a boy home, it must be serious."

Wendy blushed again and grabbed my hand for moral support. "No shotgun yet, daddy. But your behavior might be why I haven't brought anyone by before."

"Hey, what about me?" Allen junior asked. "I thought I was the one scaring off the boys. That's what you always said."

We all laughed and soon Allen was regaling us with highlights of his pee-wee hockey game. It was the first game he had gotten to play in, even if it was just a full scrimmage.

Dinner was delicious and lively. Mr. Stenzel quizzed me about football while Allen wanted to know how I got to play varsity as a freshman. Mrs. Stenzel asked about classes and seemed impressed that I was in three honors courses.

After dinner, I helped clean up, along with Allen and Wendy. Shortly thereafter, Wendy's parents said goodnight and took Allen upstairs insisting he needed a bath before bed. Wendy and I finished drying dishes and the sat on the couch in the living room with the TV.

Wendy carefully snuggled up under my arm and draped a blanket over us.

"Thanks for being such a great guy tonight. My little brother worships you."

"He's a great kid." I kissed her. "You have a lovely family."

She smiled and kissed me again. Soon, we were fully embraced, the TV ignored. I ran my hands over her breasts lightly as I kissed her neck. The thought of getting caught making out on the couch had me incredibly turned on. Apparently, Wendy felt the same way.

"I want to jump your bones right here, right now," she whispered in my ear.

"We can't," I whispered back as I slipped my hand inside her shirt and caressed her ribs and then cupped her breast though her satiny bra. "But I bet I can get you off." I added as I nibbled on her ear lobe.

Wendy moaned and then bit my shoulder trying to keep quiet. I slipped my hand down her stomach and methodically worked her belt open, then the button of her jeans, and finally the zipper. I could feel the heat radiating from her.

I stroked her slowly through her panties working her toward an orgasm slowly. Soon I knew she was close. She tried to thrust against my hand but I withdrew it.

"What are you doing," she hissed in my ear. "I was so close."

"I thought I heard someone coming down the hallway."

Wendy sat up under the blanket and looked toward the stairs for a few minutes, as if watching for any sign of movement. Finally, she turned back to me. "No one is there."

We kissed again and soon I was working her back toward an orgasm. Again, I took her close to the brink and then stopped and looked at the stairs.

She groaned in frustration.

"You're teasing me," she accused.

"Maybe," I said with a smirk followed by a kiss.

"If you don't make me cum soon, I'm going to make you walk home," she threatened.

I nibbled on her neck and let my fingers resume their teasing task.

"Oh, yeah," she moaned softly. I stroked into her a little faster and made sure my thumb was strumming her clit as I decided to let her reach release this time. If her mother or father chose that minute to come back down stairs, I was a dead man. I stroked one last time and kissed her hard as her orgasm finally came. She moaned into my mouth and arched against my body. My ribs hurt like hell, and I did not care as I continued to stroke her lightly and kiss her as deeply as I could.

We finally broke our embrace, both breathless. I stroked her pussy gently and was rewarded with another shudder racing though her body. She grabbed my shoulders and rode my hand. Just as I thought she was done, her pussy clenched my fingers and she bit my shoulder hard.

"Oh, god, that is enough," she finally said as she pushed my hand away from her. I held her tightly as she caught her breath. "You've never made me come that hard before. You are not normal, I tell you. You are amazing." She kissed me again.

"You're pretty amazing, yourself."

"I still think we could do it right here, on the couch," she said as she stroked me through my jeans.

"Much as I'd love to, I'd be too afraid of getting caught and seeing your father's shotgun," I joked.

She hugged me again. "I think I could be falling in love with you, Paul," she whispered in my ear.

"The feeling is mutual, ma'am. I can assure you of that."

We stayed cuddled together until the news ended. This time, we definitely heard footsteps in the hallway.

"Wendy," her mother called. "Do you want dad to run Paul home?"

Wendy straightened her clothing under the blanket. "No, Mom, I'll run him home."

"Okay, but straight there and back. We'll be waiting up for you and your father has to work in the morning. Paul, it was nice meeting you finally tonight."

I stood from under the blanket. "Thank you, ma'am. It was nice to meet you all and it was a great dinner."

Wendy listened to her footsteps retreat down the hallway before throwing off the blanket and fastening her jeans while removing her belt. She stood, grabbed a coat and my hand and headed to the door.

"You're in a hurry," I said as soon as we got outside.

"Damn straight. The faster we hit the road, the sooner we stop and I can take care of my boyfriend's needs before dropping him off at home," she said.

I grinned and let her hurry me along.

She stopped as she turned onto my road. We were a half mile from my home and close to nine from hers. We had gotten there in less than ten minutes. As soon as the car was in park, her pants were open again and sliding down her shapely legs. I gapped at her.

"Don't just sit there. You heard my Mom. Straight there and back. Can you get it straight?"

I cracked up, kissed her and pulled my own pants down. She gave me one long lick to make sure I was ready and then laid back on the seat with one ankle by the headrest and the other on the floorboard. "Get in me, Paul. I want to feel you fuck me hard."

I did my best. She started having another orgasm on my forth or fifth stroke. Her clenching pussy was so tight I almost stopped, but she kept urging me on. "Stay with me, Paul, stay with me. I want your cum inside me all night long." I continued thrusting and suddenly felt the familiar tightening of my balls. I thrust deeply and then started to cum.

Wendy moaned and clawed my back and shuddered beneath me as I pumped my load deep into her. My ribs were in agony, but I could care less. I was determined to give Wendy what she wanted tonight. Anything within my power was hers.

Slowly, we stopped and then finally separated. Wendy kissed me and then told me to get my pant's on. She simply sat up and started the car, naked from the waist down. I laughed and then stroked her thigh as she pulled into my yard.

"Straight here and back, love," she said in a mocking British accent.

"Straight back, for you, love," I replied in kind. I gave her one more kiss and then slipped out of the car.

"Drive safely, and have sweet dreams, darling." I said before closing the car door. She beamed a smile back at me and then pulled out of the drive way slowly. I watched her taillights until they disappeared from sight.

Wednesday I worked on my car and helped Mom prepare a couple of dishes to take to Uncle Ben's and Aunt Carol's. We always joined them for Thanksgiving. I tried to keep my mind off Wendy, but found it hard. After dinner, I decided to call her. I had to look up her father in the phone book, and was a nervous as I could recall being as I dialed the number.

"Stenzel's" I heard her father say as he picked up the phone.

"Good evening, Mr. Stenzel. Is Wendy home? This is Paul."

"Wendy!" I heard him yell as he set the phone down on a table. "Boyfriend call!"

I could hear Wendy scolding her father as she pounded down the steps.

"Paul?" she said a little breathlessly.

"Expecting some other boyfriend to call?" I said as I laughed.

"Well, smart ass, I have that abnormal friend I told you about." I could imagine her grin. "Why are you calling?"

"Well, I realized that I would be at my cousins most of tomorrow, and I know you'll be busy Friday, so I want to call and tell you how much you mean to me and how much I'll be thinking about you before I see you on Saturday."

"Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, you can tell me all that. Geez, I thought you were smart or something."

I laughed. Her spirits were definitely better than mine. "I love you." It just came out. It might have been the worst thing to say, but it felt totally right.

"What?"

"I. Love. You."

"Don't say that unless you really mean it, Paul. I don't think my heart could take it right now."

"I love you, Wendy. I realized I would be a total ass if I let you have any doubt about how I felt about you as you go to the hospital. I will see you on Saturday, and I want you to know exactly how I feel as soon as you lay eyes on me. I want you to realize how much you mean to me and how special you are to me. I love you."

At first I thought she had hung up, the line was so quiet. Then I heard a soft hiccup and sigh. "I love you, too, Paul. I never thought I would say that, but I do. Thank you so much for calling and clearing that up. I love you with all my heart." I could tell she was crying.

"Me, too." I said. "Me, too. Now you take care and do what your Mom and the doctors tell you. I'll be thinking of you exclusively for the next two days and can't wait to see you on Saturday, okay?"

"Okay. Paul, can you tell me one more time?"

"Of course, darling. I love you. Have sweet dreams tonight, and always."

Thanksgiving was the usual noisy, hectic, fun family affair that it had always been. When Mom saw John had invited Ann, she asked why I hadn't invited Wendy. "She has to start a fast today before going down to the hospital." I glanced at the clock. "She had to finish eating two hours ago. Now it's just water."

Mom frowned and gave me a hug. Ryan and John and Ann managed to corner me before dinner and asked the same question. Somehow, the bite/hickey on my shoulder had been noticed in a different school as well as my own. I tried to shrug it off, but Ann in particular was insistent.

Finally, I gave in. "Look, not many kids, if any know this, but Wendy has to have surgery tomorrow and probably won't be back in school until next year. She couldn't come because of that."

They were stunned. "Is she going to be alright?" Ann asked.

I couldn't hold back my tears at the question. "I don't know, and that's what makes this so damn hard." I turned away and headed outside trying to get my emotions back under control. I heard the door open and close behind me as I walked around the parked cars and stared at the blue sky.

"Are you alright?" It was Ann.

I nodded.

"I'm sorry, Paul. I had no idea. How long have you been dating her?"

"Since just after homecoming." Ann was smart, she could put the timing together. "We weren't really dating until a couple of weeks ago. Before that we were just getting to be good friends."

"Is there anything I can do?"

I looked at her. Her concern was genuine. After getting to know her over the summer and on a couple of double dates, I still had not realized what a nice, caring person she was. I had believed the facade of cool aloofness that both she and Jordan tried to maintain. I had treated her like an object as well and people I cared about.

I shook my head. "No, thanks. But I do really appreciate you coming out here and caring."

Ann smiled, patted my arm, and then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're a sweet guy, Paul. I'm sure everything will work out fine."

She left me standing in the cold. I waited a little bit and then finally turned to go back inside. Mom was watching me out the kitchen window.

Friday was horrible. I tried to work on the car, but kept screwing up the welds I was trying to make. When I tossed in the towel on welding, I found it impossible to concentrate on the patent paperwork I had planned on completing over the weekend. I kept looking at the clock and then at the phone. I wanted to know what was going on. Finally, around six o'clock I went looking for my mother.

"Mom, can we drive down to Bloomington? I just want to know that Wendy came through the procedure all right."

Mom looked at me with sad eyes and then smiled. "Of course, Paul. I'd like to know how she is doing as well." I gave Mom a hug and then grabbed our coats out of the closet. We rode in silence for most of the forty-minute trip. I marveled at my mother. I did not appreciate her nearly enough the first time through. Her freshman son was involved with a junior girl deeply enough to beg her to drive forty minutes in the dark, with no notice, and she smiled, and said "of course". No arguing, or trying to say I could call or putting me off saying everything was alright. Just a simple "Of course" and we were off.

I hoped I could love that unconditionally when given the chance. Maybe this was my chance to try. If I was honest to myself, I never had on the first time through.

We got to the hospital and then spent twenty minutes trying to find out where Wendy was. I was getting angry at the bureaucracy when a Nurse finally whispered something to my mother and then motioned us to follow her.

She led us through wide double doors and down a hall. I glanced at signs wondering why we were not going upstairs toward surgery or the patient rooms. Soon I realized she was taking us to the chapel.

Fear filled my heart. I could almost not bear to step inside the doorway as I saw Mr. and Mrs. Stenzel hugging Allen by the altar at the front of the room. As soon as Mrs. Stenzel looked up and saw me, I knew. Wendy's Mom was crying and one look at me made her wail. Allen looked up through tears and then was running to me. I stooped down and gave him a hug. We cried together as I slowly lead him back to his family.

I had no words to share, as I struggled to understand how fate could be so cruel. Love was dead.

The rest of the weekend was rough. I was a wreck. Mom got me home late Friday night. I don't remember crying in high school the first time through, but I did plenty that night.

Saturday was a blur. Sunday, I stayed in bed until late afternoon. It had to be after four when Mom finally had enough.

"Paul, I know this is hard on you. It's going to be hard on a lot of other people, too." She sat on the foot of my bed and patted my leg. "You have to decide if you are going to let this define your high school life or not. I know you felt deeply for Wendy. I know she felt deeply about you. I won't try to minimize that, but you have to decide if you are going to remember the joy you brought each other, or how you feel now, filled with loss."

I did not want to respond, but thought back to the day Wendy had slapped me and told me to get ahold of myself. She would do it again if she saw me now, I thought.

"I had to make the same hard choice when your father, died, you know," Mom said in a conversational tone. I could see her pain, however.

The next day in school was tough. Lisa knew before Jim did, and had tears in her eyes when she saw me in the hall. I thanked her for her concerns, and tried to keep my grief at arms length. I made it through the day some how. Monday night, going to the wake was almost too much, but Mom held my hand as we went through the viewing line just before the family did. I had a moment at the casket for my last farewells, and was then hugging Mrs. Stenzel with tears in my eyes and on my cheeks.

Tuesday was the funeral. I sat in the church stoically, listening to a minister who had known Wendy for years remind people of her first communion, and Sunday school adventures. A few classmates stepped up to say their scripted parts, and then the minister asked if anyone else's wanted to share a memory.

I could feel eyes on me as I rose and made my way to the pulpit. I hated churches and organized religion for all of the hate they propagated in the future, but on that day, I felt sudden peace in my soul as I looked out at the filled sanctuary. It was mostly high school students surrounding Wendy's family in the front pews.

I tried to smile at Allen, and then spoke from my heart. "I loved, Wendy," I started. "The first day I really noticed her, she slapped me and told me other people in our school had real problems, and that I should grow up. I did not know she was speaking of herself, but I knew she was right. And she was right about a lot of other things in life as well.

"While we were only close for a few short weeks, we shared the love of life and squeezing joy out of every moment we could, whether it was a smile between classes, celebrating a football win, or a dinner with her family. Many people here knew Wendy, but to really appreciate Wendy, you had to see past her bigger than life personality. Wendy was a fighter to the last. She was more worried about me and her family than she was for herself when she went to the hospital. She had more courage than any football player I faced this year, and more love in her heart than anyone I have ever known. I loved Wendy, and I will miss her for the rest of my life, but what I feel saddest about is how many other people in the world never got to see her smile like I did."

I got her letter the next day.

My love,

If you are reading this, I'm gone. I hate being melodramatic, but I asked a nurse to mail it. Mom and Dad would probably read this and I want this to be between myself and the man I love.

I was so happy you called on Wednesday. I was convinced that telling you how I really felt about you would guilt you into saying you loved me too, but you beat me to the punch all on your own. Once again, you've proven yourself to be beyond normal.

I wanted to tell you how much it means to me, knowing you felt about me the same way I felt about you. I was such a bitch on Wednesday before you called, mad at myself for holding back Tuesday night, but you made it all better. Thank you, my love.

If you are reading this, I'm dead.

I don't like the thought of not spending my life with you, or leaving you hurting, but there are no guarantees that we would live happily ever after, either, so I'll take what I can get of you, and you gave me as much love and happiness as I could stand in our brief weeks together.

By definition, you are the love of my life, but please know that I can't fill that role for you. It is my wish that you find someone else to share your wonderful heart with. You showed me a little slice of heaven in your heart. You let me face what I had to knowing I was loved. I can never thank you enough for that. I hope you can feel this sense of peace yourself one day, and truly know how much you are loved.

Thank you for that, my love.

The next morning was cold and overcast and looked like rain, but I didn't care. I put on my sweats and hit the road before dawn. I was a seventy year old man in a fifteen year old body and an eighteen year old girl had taught me more about the meaning of love and life than all my years of experience.

I thought I had lived a full life, the first time through. I had not liked the way the world went and had made some poor choices, but that was part of life, right? I had dated and bed many women the first time through. I had thought I was in love once. Melanie was one of those poor choices.

I was certain what I had felt then was not what I had felt with Wendy. Then it had been right for all the wrong reasons. The thrill of the chase, the sex, the feeling that it was time to settle down, start a family; the feeling of obligation that had slowly sucked the life out of me.

Seven years had passed before we both realized we were living a lie. We divorced amicably. As I threw myself into my research and work, I had decided that love was not worth the effort. I dated a few women after that but, never formed any real attachments. I had lived the remainder of my life a lonely man.

Now, I had a second chance.

Now, I felt that I knew what love could really feel like.

I missed Wendy.

I cried as I ran. Letting my tears flow in the cold sunrise. It wasn't sobbing, just tears of loss, but also tears of thanks for a wonderful young woman who had shown me what I had missed in life before.

I knew this time would be different. I knew this time I would be brave enough to risk being hurt. I knew this time I would look for love, not sex. I knew what I wanted for myself in addition to what I wanted for the world.

I reached my turning point and brushed the moisture from my face.

I would never forget Wendy and what she had taught me.

I picked up my pace as I headed home.

I focused on my breathing and the feeling for the wind on my face. I had my missions in life now.

I ran on.

"Taylor," Coach called as I made a shot from the top of the key during PE. "Why aren't you playing basketball on the freshman team?"

"No shot, coach." I grinned as I ran back down the floor to get set on defense. The truth was I did not want to invest the time in practice and games. I had other things to focus on right now.

Coach blew his whistle and sent a couple of classmates into the game. As I came out, he shook his head and pointed to the far end of the gym. "Hit it, mister no-shot."

I had actually come to like Coach Miller in gym class. I knew my smart-ass answer would be punished. He knew that most of the activities we did in PE were not a physical challenge for me. I could out-endure the majority of my classmates easily. He kept class entertaining for me with his extra activities.

I sprinted to the other end of the gym where the climbing rope hung. I scaled it easily, using only my hands. Up, then back down. I sprinted to the other end of the gym and grabbed two wooden pegs. I jumped up and stuck one of the pegs in the pegboard. With careful moves, I swung on the peg and put the next peg in a hole higher up. Up and down I went. I dropped the pegs and sprinted back to the sidelines.

A couple of classmates who actually irritated him, had found out how hard the punishments could be when they had tried to give coach any lip. After that, people gave me strange looks when I would say something to coach.

Bill Tanner, one of my teammates on the JV squad shook his head as we headed to the showers at the end of class. "Man, why don't you keep your mouth shut and not have to do that crap?" he asked.

I laughed. "I want to stay in shape in the off season. I don't want to go out for the basketball team and I don't really want to have to hit the weight room after school too much, so I make some wise ass comments and coach makes sure I get enough exercise to stay in shape." I shrugged as I opened my locker and grabbed my towel. "It's more fun than just being told to go lift during class."

Bill shook his head again. "You are crazy, Paul."

As we headed out of the locker room for lunch, Bill caught up to me again. "Hey, Paul. Are you going to take anyone to the Winter Prom?"

"Nope. Why?" His question was enough to stop me in the hall. Bill and I were teammates, but more acquaintances than friends.

Bill blushed. "Um, it's my sister, Heather. She was kind of hoping you would ask her."

I turned and slowly resumed my pace toward the cafeteria. Heather was cute. She was a Sophomore, in Jim and Lisa's class. She was in the honors section with us. She had red hair and green eyes and a nice figure. She was cute, but quiet. I did not think I had ever heard her speak outside of class.

"Really?"

"Yep. She asked me to see if you were interested. She knows you and Wendy were an item, and that it hasn't been very long, but thought maybe you'd like to get out."

The Winter Prom was the semi-formal dance before the Christmas break. It was a little over a week away. I had not really given it much thought, assuming I was staying home. Jim and Lisa had been nice enough not to mention it at lunch lately. I knew they were going together.

"I'll think about it, Bill. Thanks."

And I did think about it through most of lunch. It would be easy to say it was too soon, but as Wendy's letter had reminded me, life was short. I spotted Heather as the first bell after lunch rang. We were heading to the same class, so it was natural to fall in behind her. She was wearing a dark green sweater and jeans with soft leather boots and her long red hair was pulled back with a elastic band.

She had a girl-next-door look of wholesomeness that made you think of kittens and puppies and first kisses.

I sat down at the desk next to her and smiled when she caught me looking at her. She had freckles dusting her nose. She was cute. Miss Sampson was doing something at the back of the room, so we had a few minutes before class started.

Heather cocked her head at me. "What?" she asked.

I smiled again. "Would you like to go to the Winter Prom with me?"