Chapter Fifteen - Because... I Love You...

"Let's go...". The car begins moving. I can hear the crunching of the snow under the tires of the car. I would usually love the aesthetic view while driving through a snow-covered city, but this time I don't feel it...

All I feel right now is hated, I feel hated by the person I love, yes okay, they are angry at me - for a reason unknown to me - and yes I am assuming that he will get over whatever he is angry for, that I did... accidentally?... but it hurts me to know that he has only three more days in Belgrade left, only three more days with me left. I wanted to make these last few days the best days, but I have obviously done something wrong.

I feel my chest burning. What am I going to do when he leaves me... Right now, I may as well be waiting for him to break up with me, it would not surprise me, he will find someone else and forget about me, he will forget about us. I will be forced to forget about the first time that I met him at the airport, I will be forced to forget his touches, the mini romance we had on the plane. I will be forced to forget our first kiss...

It hurts to know that he hates me, it hurts me so much. What did I do to make him simply hate me?

I need air... I need to get out of the car.

"Stop the car..." I mutter.

"What?" Darko asks.

"Ana are you okay?" Andrea asks me.

"Stop that car... Stop the car! Please!" I yell, breaking down into tears.

Darko stops somewhere beside a road, I instantly open the door and walk out, I feel dizzy and the cold is not helping.

I kneel onto the cold snow, breaking down into tears.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, it is Andrea, she kneels beside me.

"Sta je bilo Ana? (What happened Ana?).".

"Mrzi me, vidis da me mrzi... Mrzi me... on me mrzi... (He hates me, can't you see that he hates me... he hates me... he hates me...)" I sob louder as my words cause me even more pain.

"Duso... nemoj da places... molim te... gle, sad cu i ja. (Honey... don't cry... please, look now I will too.)," Andrea says, I look up into her eyes, just to see her teary too, I pull her into a hug.

"Ja ga volim... (I love him...)," I sob out.

Then I felt a second touch, a more familiar touch, his touch. His touch causes my tears to sink back into my eyes.

"Why are you crying..." I can sense an unfamiliar emotion in his voice.

I with every second, the need for hugging him is becoming more and more overwhelming.

Just when I could not keep it in any longer, I wrap my hands around him and hug him tight, tighter than I ever have as I begin sobbing.

"I am sorry... I am sorry for whatever I did... I am sorry... I am sorry..." I sob out through the tears.

"I am sorry because the last thing that I want for you is to hate me...".

I rest my head on his shoulder, letting all of my pain out in a form of tears but it is not long before he rises my head with his hands and I feel our noses touch.

"Who said that I hated you... who said that?" he voice shakes and quivers at the end.

"Because I could never hate you, not in a million, not even billion and not even in a trillion years. I could never hate a woman like you, Ana.".

"Then why did you act the way you did at my house, you were so cold, you didn't even look at me, you didn't kiss me. What did I do?..." I ask him, desperate to know the answer.

But I see him lower his head, glaring at the snowy ground, the frown on his face grows bigger.

"Before I begin talking, I want you to know that you didn't do anything, it is not your fault. This is all my fault," he says.

I am thankful that I didn't do anything wrong, but when he said that it is his fault, I listen carefully. I move closer to him, my hands landing on his thighs.

The wind is picking up as the snowfall becomes heavier.

"What did you do?" I ask him. I feel another wave of tears spill down my cheeks.

"When I go to Los Angeles, we... we will possibly never see each other again..." He begins but stops to look up into the cloudy sky to stop his tears.

I begin to shake my head gently. He has been thinking about that too... I feel my heart wrench...

"I tried to make you hate me, I wanted to make you despise me because I thought that will be the easiest way to say our goodbyes. I wanted you to forget me. I wanted to pretend to hate you, I wanted to do this for us... I didn't want you in pain..." but before he could finish, I pull him in for a hug.

"But as soon as I began the disguised hate, I knew I could not do it..."

"So you don't hate me?..." I ask him. I feel him tighten his grasp around me.

"How can I fucking hate you?...".

His answer brings more tears to my eyes, causing my chest to hurt, but the pain is indescribable.

"I am sorry..." he whispers into my ear so breathly, I can feel the heat of his breath warm up my ear.

"You are going to get a cold, come on, get back into the car," I hear Andrea yelling at us.

I am just about to stand up when I am suddenly picked up into his strong arms.

I missed him carrying me like this, I missed him in my embrace. I gently wrap mt hands around his neck as he carries me into the car.

"I hope you don't mind sitting on my lap, beautiful?" he mutters into my ear. I missed his soft whispers that make the butterflies in my stomach fly.

I blush at his words.

"I am going to take that as a yes..." he replies, smirking at me.

Then his face suddenly straightens.

"Wait, there is something..." he points onto my face, my lips more specifically.

"Is there-" but before I could finish, he pins me against Andrea's seat as he drives his lips into mine. It feels so good to kiss him again.

"I didn't get to kiss you this morning... I love you so much, Ana Lazarevich".

I look at him, smiling as I can feel more tears build up in my eyes.

"I love you too, James..." I don't know what his surname is.

I see him smiling at me, amused, before leaning in towards me.

"O'Neill," he whispers to me.

"James O'Neill..." I say out loud, he nods his head.

In one swift move, he pulls me back into his lips, I can feel him smile causing me to smile too. When our lips part, I, first, move to the seat beside him. Safety always first. I then lay my head on his shoulder. I can feel his head gently lays his head on mine.

"I love you..." He voices gently to me.

"I love you too..." I reply, giving his big, strong shoulder a big smooch.

God, do I love this man.